When his son was 5 years old, his wife flew to another city for a rather serious operation. She, of course, femininely "touched herself", in the evening before the departure of the son kisses, eyes on a wet place. He explains to his son that he will fly away tomorrow and he loves him very much, etc., he turns to me and asks, "and you can cook?"

xxxx: Electronic, is it not an Aikos case that smells like a burnt clot burned by a bomb?



YYY: Probably he is. I just think the shirt is shredded.



Zzzz: They have different tastes.

I get out of the apartment and I smell something burning. I go down the stairs, a man stands, smokes e-cigarettes and drinks coffee. Such a dialogue took place.

Can I not smoke on the staircase? It is a public place.

They do not smell!

When I got out of the apartment, I immediately felt it. In principle, smoking in public places is prohibited.

They are not ordinary cigarettes, they do not smell.

So if they don’t smell, you smoke them at home, why go out here?

My wife does not allow me at home.

I – Why?

She smells...

Unknown is when the clue is not understood. It was when I was offended.

Remember the footage from the movie 1 + 1, where a guy has blood from his nose and he asks for a million dollars for it?

At the request of the workers, I will explain how this works and why art objects are so expensive. Of course, it’s all about Babel, and more precisely its legalization.

When you see a businessman paying hundreds of thousands of dollars for a two-line picture, you’re upset, why? Am I so stupid that I don’t understand art? In fact, everything is a little smarter.

I would divide the world of art into three levels.

The level 1. Works of recognized masters. It is really an investment. Works of Monet, Van Gogh and others. Recognised masters are investments that increase every year and our research has nothing to do with them.

Level of 2. Works of little known masters. Of course, in Van Gogh's time, paintings were written not only by Van Gogh, there were many little-known writers and their paintings, also exhibited in galleries, collected by experts and sold at auctions.

Level of 3. The Contemporary Art.

Today we are interested in the last two levels. Let’s talk about how the picture prepares for an interesting deal.

1st The graduate of the Madrid Institute of Liberal Arts Geronimo Paperdelle in 1953 wrote the painting "The Rainy Sunset over the Loire" as his graduation work. So, we have a foreign artist and a pathos name. Not bad anymore!
2nd The work is sold for 500 francs at a market in Marseille, to the collector who put the painting into circulation.
Three The painting participates in exhibitions, changes several masters, is published in art journals and is spotted in every way.
4 is The painting (for the money of the essay) is written all sorts of praise odes from critics (honored professors of art academies), which are subsequently posted in paphos journals. And the cost of the painting is no longer 500 francs, but 100,000 euros.

and London. The auction house Shmotbis. The painting is exhibited at the initial price of 150 thousand. The Euro. The lady on the right 155,000, the man on the third row 200,000, the girl in a hat 250... who will give more! The price rises to one million euros. One and a half million!

Just another thickness bought himself an object of art. And what such? Now I’m uncovering the secret of the magic. Take care of your hands.

Corrupchenko married, gave birth to children, collected scouts and moved to London.

Deposits lie on the account of the company (on distant islands), and they need to be legalized somehow otherwise the tax authority will immediately ask where at one point such a serious amount of money was formed and there is a risk of spending the rest of the days in prison, or even being deported to Russia.

In order to legalize money, the official’s wife opens a company in Dubai in advance, some kind of ART INVEST CORP., of course in the free economic zone, in order not to pay taxes.

ART INVEST CORP. slowly buys and sells all kinds of art items, office beautiful, respected, with its site, etc. Maybe even in Moscow.

The official himself hired a lawyer, who through a network of subordinates creates a company of the type of SUPER PUPER TRADING, which is gathered all the repairs from road repairs, purchases for schools, shorter from the world to the thread.

And here the official’s wife and her ART INVEST CORP. decide to auction their treasure, the painting of the famous in narrow circles Geronimo Paperdelle “The Rainy Sunset over the Loire”.

And so unexpectedly for everyone, in the auction hall a struggle begins, insidious persons raise the price of the painting to one and a half million dollars! Two million! Three million! The Five! and 5 million! is sold!

An elderly man in an expensive suit smiled, accepted applause and signed a payment order on behalf of the company SUPER PUPER TRADING to ART INVEST CORP. The Euro!

Trap of hands. Corrupchenko official just legalized 5 million in front of your eyes! Tomorrow, the princess Diana's brooch will be sold for $50 million.! to

Here are the cats! Often, buyers and sellers of art are the same persons acting through subordinate agents. Thus e. The paintings they sell themselves, and the money goes somewhere. And there is no magic, no special understanding, no taste and no sense of beauty.

And this is just one of many schemes, the simplest. With real planning, the chain is confused to such an extent that it becomes impossible to identify the real owner and buyer of the object of art.

As my grandmother said: if a husband is poorly fed - he will lose weight and the cowards will begin to fall from him... and - not at home!

I have not been on the car to work lately. About the snow collapse on the roads of Peter did not hear only lazy. switched to electricity. 20 minutes walk to work. On the road, I began to notice one girl, we always cross in the same place at the same time. The meeting of eyes gradually evolved into a smile. In other circumstances, a few words could be clearly crossed, etc. The girl’s eyes were so pleasing. But no, I say to myself I am not like that, I have a beautiful wife and kids with sweets. Before yesterday, as she expected, I did not smile in response. Yesterday I went on a different road in order not to meet that praying look again. I walked the usual road today and did not meet her. for the first time. I think we have the first silence. And all silently, only at the receptor level.

I started dating a girl. We talked, walked and coffee.

They were ready to start a relationship. And then she asks me to take the tests. The guy doesn’t want to date a guy who has a shameful illness.

I say - no problems, even tomorrow ready to take tests and take a certificate. Take the tests as well.

She – why? You don’t trust me?

What is trust or not trust? You want to make sure I’m healthy. I also want to make sure you don’t get sick.

She is what you called me a fallen woman with low social responsibility?! to

We never had a relationship with her. And what communication it was.

But I gave the tests anyway. I got the certificate. All is well.

I am concerned with the question: will Kazakhstan have time to complete the transition from Cyrillic to Latin by 2025 or will the transition to hieroglyphs occur?

It was a long time ago, at the time of the Dotkomov bubble. All Russian immigrants suddenly discovered a talent for programming. I taught programming at Business School. I had a student from Odessa. In Odessa he was the chief of the sausage shop, and it was unique, since he was almost the only non-party chief. According to his stories, the partorg of the enterprise regularly caught him somewhere near the shop, grabbed his sleeves and wondered:
Why don’t you go to the party?
He was thirsty lying, saying, I am non-partisan, what should I do there?
Then the CPSU dissolved, the USSR ended and he moved to America, where he began playing drums in restaurant jazz. And with the beginning of the growth of the demand for programmers (with decent salaries) decided to re-learn. He comes to class and says:
I walked past the synagogue yesterday, and a crowd of people came out of it. Among them is our parrot. He grabs my sleeve and asks, “Are you not going to the synagogue?”

The government has allowed access to the apartments of citizens to police in the framework of the "Accessible housing" program.

Plunder the working people, feed the unemployed - this is the motto of Russian economists born in the USSR and trained in wild capitalism.

History of Military School

We go on a patrol with the senior. We meet a student with a violation of the shape of clothes. It’s summer, it’s hot, with three open buttons. We are going to ask him for documents to record the data and pass on to the command, and he asks him not to smoke, such as he is an athlete, he is going to go to some zone competitions in Kaliningrad and he really wants to go there, and for such a flight can also get away from the national team.
Our senior is an ambitious man, and he says that he is also an athlete at all, and here is about 500 meters to the red barrel, let's say, we will bet: if a student runs faster, then they will let him go, and if he loses, they will give up with a little bit. Well, standing on the line, I commanded: “At the start – Attention – March.”

At the first hundred meters, our commander went into a good break, but I did not have time to boast of them, as it turned out that at the second hundred meters the student turned to the nearest street, and while the commander, rushing to the goal, noticed this, the student had already left the trail.

“Why do you not clean the snow, but you have the Beagle’s blades?
I thought it was for money...

We go on a patrol with the senior. We meet a student with a violation of the shape of clothes. It’s summer, it’s hot, with three open buttons. We are going to ask him for documents to record the data and pass on to the command, and he asks him not to smoke, such as he is an athlete, he is going to go to some zone competitions in Kaliningrad and he really wants to go there, and for such a flight can also get away from the national team.

Our senior is an ambitious man, and he says that he is also an athlete at all, and here is about 500 meters to the red barrel, let's say, we will bet: if a student runs faster, then they will let him go, and if he loses, they will give up with a little bit. Well, standing on the line, I commanded: “At the start – Attention – March.”

At the first hundred meters, our commander went into a good break, but I did not have time to boast of them, as it turned out that at the second hundred meters the student turned to the nearest street, and while the commander, rushing to the goal, noticed this, the student had already left the trail.

The ruler, when he goes on a long journey, should not call with him friends, but those who are dangerous to leave in the capital.

In 1993, the French electrician Emile Lere drove his "Citroen 2CV" through Morocco (where and why - history is silent). He had a full tank, a supply of water and food, 2 additional fuel cans and a trailer.
After leaving the city of Tan-Tan to the southeast, Emile was stopped by the military at the post in Tilem. “The road is closed! A zone of armed conflict between Morocco and Western Sahara.
Emil turned around. Having taken a decent distance, he turned off the road and went deep into the desert, hoping to bypass the forbidden zone. Driving around it was quite acceptable. Only occasionally the car jumped on the rocks naked. Lare used to the shocks of the suspension and decided to increase the speed a little. On one of the fingers, the car jumped a little higher and knocked his nose with a loud metal scratch.
The inspection showed that the lower lever of the suspension and the front part of the frame was broken, the front axle was bended. Lere dismantled the car and came to the conclusion that it was impossible to repair under such conditions.
Not walking to people. But there is a supply of food and water for a few days, a tool and a bunch of spare parts. Why not build a motorcycle from steel?
Thro the night, Emile was thinking about all the complexities of the project: how, what, how long. There is no right to error in the desert. Finally, I decided to build. I started 2CV this morning.
The body he did not break down, adapted under the housing. In order not to burn at work, I had to make shorts with short sleeves. Of the tools were keys, cloves, hammer and metal scissors. To make a hole in the sheet of metal, Lere bended it in half, cut it off with a scissor, bended and beat out the weakened plate of metal. Of course, when assembling he tried to use the already existing holes. It was especially difficult to regulate the gas and traction. The drives had to be disassembled and reworked many times, until, finally, the "steel camel" began to obediently touch and accelerate. Managing the "apparatus" was fucking difficult with a weight of about 200 kg.
All the work took 12 days.
The water had already ended when Lere drove to civilization on a trampoline without brakes.
The first police patrol fined him for driving an unregistered vehicle.

Life has taught me two important lessons. I don’t remember the first one, and the second one needs to be recorded.

I was going to visit my older sister, she called me and said, "I am in the clinic, as soon as you come - put up to cook potatoes."

While I drove from the platform to the house, I called my niece — she was ten at the time — and asked, “Do you know how to clean the cardboard?” He answers something like, well... I didn’t have my children at the time, in addition, at that age I already cleaned potatoes on a constant basis, so that answer convinced me quite well, and I told my niece to proceed with the task.

I come in 15 minutes - she opens the door to me all in tears, hands cut - in blood and dirt (I didn't wash the potatoes), in the trash - cleaning the thickness of the fingers, and lies a single potato - the size of a ping pong ball.

She regretted her niece, of course, then taught her to use a knife. And now this case is always remembered to laugh.

And I just went on a date =) after which there was no second either:

In the process of communication there was a conversation about romance... The girl asked me the question: Basyan, what is romance for you?

I: Dinner, the road going to the horizon, I’m on a motorcycle...

The girl behind you hugging you.

Why a girl? O_O