bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №140383
 10.04.2017
xxx: Well I don't know, I naively believed that there would be quite adequate people in the library forum, but after reading what's going on there...
xxx: You know, I prefer a forum under the title "how do I sauce member" read, there even the title will match the content.

yyy: If the forum is old, then almost 100% that about the member there everybody is tired and there is either a hohlosrach or something highly intellectual.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №140382
 10.04.2017
Large store, browse on construction and housing. goods, I drive with a wheelchair past the garden / garden tool and I see a huge price on the grable - "Grable CIA" manufacturer China.It became interesting, called the guy there in the department and decided to ask what the grable is special, what the one stumbled on - "that you conspired something!?", " ordinary grabbles!"
XD XD XD XD

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №140381
 10.04.2017
Will you miss me when I leave?
M: Did you not say how you treat me yet? and ;-)
Yes, I respect you 😉
M: I will be missing at least because of respect. :D

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №140380
 10.04.2017
Imagine how happy they would be if we didn’t come!
Yes, we have to go!

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №140379
 10.04.2017
Of course, there are situations when a bag of potatoes is really a gift.
And in general, such "tests" completely destroy the desire to continue the relationship. If I was really better only because I could consider this attitude to myself as a joke, I would be better left alone.

[ + 27 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №140378
 10.04.2017
A professor came up with a light sword.
If such weapons were available, the world would be destroyed in a week.
XX: From carelessness would cut each other’s limbs
Then they cried and cried.
The whole of humanity in one phrase

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №140377
 10.04.2017
A resident of the UK discovered gold coils in a Soviet tank.

of course.

In every Soviet tank there were such clusters - they drowned dirt from the boots. and what?

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №140376
 10.04.2017
Elections in South Ossetia. Candidates: Tibilov and Bibilov. Lack of Dybala.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №140375
 10.04.2017
The first shook the dissatisfied face and questioned, “Are you serious?” Is this a gift for me?" The second laughed fun, the next day called for lunch with soup, fried potatoes and cake with potatoes. Part left on the "in the courtyard on the bench plantation, the mini-garden will". I don’t need to say who I chose.

The one with a larger chest.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №140374
 10.04.2017
When I was 5 years old, I was given a toy machine (without bullets). I rushed into the whole apartment with anxiety, killing enemies. Then I didn’t find anything better than sending a trumpet on my mom and "shooting". She fell on the couch and "died". I ran around her for about 20 minutes and tried to revive her. Eventually I sat next to me and just cried. My mother stood up and calmed me. Per it was hard for a small child, but now I have a complete prejudice against any violence.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №140373
 10.04.2017
The Route. I hear a conversation between a woman and a child:
... (in the untold way)
What is? Do you want a drill?
and DEA!
What did you decide to throw?
And again unclearly.
I need a pincet! Why do I take a drill?

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №140372
 10.04.2017
I went home from work tired, ill, with a lack of care. A guy with a knife jumped out of the bushes, and said, “Give money!” and I offered him to go over the money instead. While the robber was in a stupor, I dragged him into the bushes. Fuck me right there. I jumped on him like crazy. The guy metals, as soon as she finished, dropped me from her member, called me a perverse and washed. I left my jacket. I was dirty, but I went home happy. I, a 28-year-old careerist, raped the robber Sasha in the park. I forgot my student jacket.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №140371
 10.04.2017
I read Wikipedia and realized that I am so old that I remember the first gta. We even played multiplayer on zero-modem. Recently explained to a man born in 1994 what it was (zero-modem) and what speed there was, he did not understand.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №140370
 10.04.2017
For it is said in the Scriptures, If a friend comes to you in the night before the working day and calls you to drink and sing songs on the beach, drive him away.
He is not your friend.

[ + 34 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №140369
 10.04.2017
When a single mother complains, everyone is lazy.
and foolish and lazy, and not foolish was to move the legs
It was worth speaking to his father - alone, something nobody called him a fool and did not remember that he was also a member of the tick wrong there.

Standards and Double Standards

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №140368
 10.04.2017
Time from 04-53. I sit in the kitchen, eat sandwiches and snack tomatoes. There is a house in front, very close. The light is turned on in the neighboring house, and I see a girl coming in, climbing into the refrigerator and making a butter for herself. He turns around and sees me - the same bitterness. We smashed each other. They ate the butter and went to sleep.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №140367
 10.04.2017
PS: Have you ever had sex?
Yulia is no. It is a matter of honor.
Sssr: D'Artagnan, fuck up :-)

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №140366
 10.04.2017
I met in the club with a man - beautiful, charming, I liked it very much, so in a couple of hours we passionately kissed in a taxi on the way to his home. In the apartment, I went to the bathroom to get myself in order, and the devil struck me to look into the closet under the dishwasher! There, in different banks, spirited organs floated, two skulls stood behind each other and a cup full of human teeth. I trembled instantly. I rushed to the front door with all my legs, and it is already locked and he goes out of the kitchen with his words, smiles cleverly and begins to approach me. I shouted hysterically, struck him, and myself barricaded in the bathroom and called the police.
In general, the maniac was a professor of anatomy at a medical university, and all I saw was the drugs he prepared for the department. It was very shameful. And he didn’t say anything about me, even invited me to a second date.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №140365
 10.04.2017
In connection with the increased violations of public order, work on the bill "On the protection of the feelings of the thieves" has begun.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №140364
 10.04.2017
It's early in the morning, I want to sleep very much, and my daughter's work in the afternoon.
I decided to start the day with a pleasant and went to the bath with the foam, to think about plans and in general.
Meditate for 10 minutes.
The door to the bathroom opens, an absolutely unfamiliar muzhig enters with a beard, suitcase and a fuchsia, and begins, whistling, to dress up.
...
There is a iron door in the tambour. There is another iron door in the apartment.
I almost drowned.
It turns out. The other day, my husband agreed to change the pipes. In the morning, the sleeper called him, the sleepy husband opened the door and drowned back to sleep, the sleeper went to work.
So she woke up. The slider, when he turned around and saw my eyes in the mountains of foam, also woke up.
The day started badly.

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