bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №140583
 17.04.2017
Why are Easter Eggs Dirty in Shops?
yyy: Kurams such a plan is given that j@pu can not be wiped out.
XXX: By the way, yes. Why do they do that on Easter mountains of eggs in the shops appear?
XXX: Please note, only white
YYY: This is what the life-giving cross does...

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №140582
 17.04.2017
I was 4 years old. My mother and I went home from the city centre in the tram. Children’s playgrounds passed through the window one by one. It must be understood that in the 70s we were not blown up by them. There was no dream like this in every courtyard. Of course, I canyoned and asked to get out of the mountain for a moment. According to my mother’s version, we were in a hurry, but then she brought me a more convincing argument. “Let’s go home, I want to go to the toilet,” she said and I cried. Here in the tram came a young officer (I think he was in shape, but what kind of...) and play with my mother:

How to get to the center?

It is on the other side.

Are you sitting in that tram?

Not very clever!

Then he turned his attention to me:

Why is your mother so evil?

I found it completely unacceptable to speak so about my mother and immediately advocated her:

She is not angry, she just wants to write.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №140581
 17.04.2017
I recently picked up my neighbor’s computer. He has a boy, aged 14-15. We assembled his computer for three hours and it turned out to be very cool, with a lot of wires, waterproofs, pipes and other interesting and expensive scissors. The child was sitting in the smartphone all the time.



We gave him 10. I say, use it. He, therefore, without any emotions, breaks off from the clock of VK in the smartphone, sits down, begins to sink into the monitor. After 5 minutes, the question is, “Where are my games? “”



I say, they’re on the old comp, you won’t start them anymore (he’s just cried at that moment), you’ll have to start again. And he is like, "That's 400 GB in the stomach that's going to have to download all night! “”



The night. I kissed. and blasphemy.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №140580
 17.04.2017
told the girl. They relaxed with their friends in the woods. We drank and ate as usual. Before leaving, two boys began collecting bottles in bags. In the words of the girl:



"I see, they go with packs in front of everyone, suddenly stop, mock, and throw packs into bushes."



I have this face: 0_0

About the woods that waste the woods, the woods, the woods

When they saw it, they said, “Don’t worry! We have all drank!”

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №140579
 17.04.2017
and Taxi. The rain.

I came on request. A woman sits with a small child. I say, I don't drive with children - there is no chair or feast. She is like, and what does that mean? Will you drive your mother and child out in the rain? I say, I am not in principle, you can sit while another car comes to you or my application falls. Only when you order, do not forget to indicate what you will go with the child. She is: Aha. I will not wait for the car at all. Stop being smart. Let it go. I understand that explaining is useless. I just say: No. She said, “How did you beat me. Now you will tell my husband all this," the phone gets, calls, "Igor, go down, deal with this fool. Meaning is busy? I said go down. You took me too, go there yourself. I: Is Igor not coming? She says, “Let your children be treated the same way, hate. She picked up the baby and retired.

I wondered how she struck her husband.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №140578
 17.04.2017
I make a card at the bank. Give a contract for a few pages, I start reading. I hear from the operationalist outraged, “Are you going to read it all now?”

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №140577
 17.04.2017
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx This is a child’s fun! 😉
Yyy:...speaks to me Dota XD

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №140576
 17.04.2017

Speaking the language of V.O. Pelevin, here is not a secret lodge, but an obvious lie.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №140575
 17.04.2017
Beijing is something in itself. My classmate had a wild beast at the time. Everyone lies, everyone is happy, everyone is stressed and demands a pencil. So he liked to run out to the extent of his Beijing forces and to hit the back of the worker. The goal, so to speak, is to take. Well, due to the imbalance of the body, his clearance shifted greatly - and the Beijingese made the salto feed forward. Without stopping the process of spilling out their tender love for the surrounding nature. In general, it was a rare phenomenon, as you understand.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №140574
 17.04.2017
My light, my mirror

Once in one palace, the tour guide showed the old "pretty" mirrors, made by special technology, in which the reflection of the object looked much better than the original. Everyone, of course, rushed to them to study their illustrious options, and one girl not of the greatest beauty, but with great claims, judging by the strange appearance and huge heels, was torn away from them simply with battle. When, at the request of the tour guide, she still had to get out of this room, pulling her foot for foot to the door, she turned all around and continued to selfie her "delightful" reflection on the iPhone.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №140573
 17.04.2017
I remember playing in GTA San Andreas. I found a patch that disables the blocking of sex episodes. Well, I went to that friend who is a garden-maso-cropie. Even given the fact that sex in the game is carried out with the help of back-to-back mouse movements, YES during sex I have never tired. Moreover, nothing happened (the same progress bar, you won't tell him'sorry, I haven't had a girlfriend for a long time,') and this girlfriend threw me out of the house. I removed the patch.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №140572
 17.04.2017
News discussion (with photo): "Dead Robert Taylor - one of the creators of the Internet"

In front of us is a man who has planted in four walls more people than all the police in the world.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №140571
 17.04.2017
Just sitting on the shit, the fly feels safe.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №140570
 17.04.2017
He was married and I took his wife home.
Well, let her teach me, say I have to try, then see, she votes? Take the car! An extra penny though.
It caused me to listen, I took it and stopped... The girl swung her head in the window, and so freely:
To the Baltic for Minet Keen?
No, not on the way.
I go, I keep silent.
The maid is silent.
In ten minutes, this is the case:
Such a criminal situation is now...
Taxi drivers kill, money is taken.
You don’t take anyone away, little or nothing.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №140569
 17.04.2017
Patriarch Kirill has consecrated several thousand kuliki for Russians fighting in Syria.
I thought there were less than a thousand.
So the RPC burned the defense mines.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №140568
 17.04.2017
Soap for the previous mistake.

Fuck, guy, it will be an eternal mistake, you will just turn it from soap to soap!

[ + 29 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №140567
 17.04.2017
When they finally begin to make soap with a slit for the previous mistake...

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №140566
 17.04.2017
Have you ever tried to melt white chocolate while cooking? Now I know that this is a solid aggregate state of condensation o_o

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №140565
 17.04.2017
Come on, young admin, I’ll tell you a story about the Chicken Rye:
The chicken drowning...

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №140564
 17.04.2017
I love my city. In spite of everything...
- this is - " Despite everything" - very subtle and deeply understood!

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