I am a seller of cosmetics and hygiene products. Now a buyer came in - a representative man with a gray "Lenin" beard, asked for a gel for the intimate hygiene of a woman, I recommended with a salmon extract. The buyer replied slightly confused:
No, I don’t need a salad! I have a beard from him... in blue color.
The mystery of the blue beards revealed))))

Building stadiums for the Russian national team is like building a bedroom where you will have your wife in front of you.

On the forum a picture hanged, heavily damaged by compression artifacts, and below it a comment:
O Lord, have you run on the shackles, right?

xxx: people, how to add a text to the picture?

YYY: In any graphic editor.

zzz: you can dim and make a presentation slide, any texts and characters are inserted into the slide

www: and you can upload the image in Excel, format cells in the appropriate size, insert text, color cells in the desired color, make a print screen, insert in photoshop, cut, save as jpg, archive in rar and send by email... but why?

Kill them with all the words

>> If a thin girl weighs 50 kg

A fat girl is 40 kilograms. Fifty is a giraffe.

35 and no more. Emergency to anorexize!

(Discussions by Editor VI)
How to get out of this shit without being saved?
And then :q!
It’s not a smiley ?

Spring Water Procedures

Probably, adequate people who have not encountered such a phenomenon, it is difficult to imagine that there are such "jokers". A few years ago, on a white day in March, we went on holiday with a five-year-old daughter for her birthday. Of course, they got caught up.
There was snow, there were rains everywhere. 300 meters we had to walk along a narrow two-lane street with an even narrower sidewalk pressed to the road. But the traffic there is quite rare, only the inhabitants of nearby houses walk and ride on this street, and I hoped, I would jump through, I would do it. But it was not there.
We were the only pedestrians there at the time. A car appeared, the driver, who was driving before it was not very fast, apparently envious of us, properly rushed and wrecked us with dirty water from the road as from the irrigation machine literally from head to foot. I hope someday someone will get rid of it and it. Let him laugh then, because it is so fun for him, probably.

Computer engineers are the most greedy people!
YYY: In the sense?
A simple task: Vova has three apples, one of which he shared with Dima, how to know how many apples he has left?
YYY: Take one out of three.
xxx: And if Vova has three kilobytes of information and one of them he shared with Dima, how much is left?
YYY: Three is left.
How do you express it mathematically?
YYYYYYYYYY
XXX is here! You see how these greedy bastards learned to share without harming themselves.

xxxh: I here contextual advertising offers lots of plants made of environmentally friendly materials.
xxx: I quote, "Growing room with a child from a natural tree".
Scuco, I haven’t been called Buratina yet.

and joule

My co-professor explained to his students that one joule is roughly equal to the work you need to do to drink a hundred grams of vodka standing.

It was in one chat:
XXX The Men! Don’t buy condoms from the company EggNAME. You can congratulate me...
YYY: Congratulations to you))
ZZZ: So I used to cheat the Gandons, and they also crashed. Then rejected them, so the hand feels better...

Skills-up: The baton shakes well, sometimes even too much :D
art-of-sun: Ah, exactly)) I read here in a baton club advertisement that in the process of jumping the brain is massaged around the skull box and begins to work better :D

The Earth
Number of times:
The ordinary household consumer of electricity holds its minimum amount. The main consumer is production (read: factories and even with them large technological units - pumping stations, metro, other hat). Effects on the volume of production by power plants ordinary consumers have almost no.
Number two:
Let’s do a thought experiment and turn off ALL consumers for an hour. And that we will find out in the end in addition to a bunch of equipment failures in the production itself (launching and stopping a fairly large range of serious industrial equipment - a whole technical epic and it is at these moments that emergency situations often occur). And we will make a sharp leap in the power system, as a result of the greater probability of accidents and problems at the power plants themselves and crazy fuel consumption, many times exceeding the consumption when working at the optimal power for the equipment. Have you ever driven a car? Have you ever noticed how gasoline is melting when you push in traffic jams on your pre-exploitation beast at the start of the transmission? How does he behave on the road? Environmental and technological problems. The Earth Hour?? to

Hundreds of people across Russia have been detained for participating in what, according to the federal media, did not happen at all.

The Sunshine

The sun eats of course, doo. For some reason, none of them can experimentally prove sunrise. Either they refuse, or a couple or three days after the beginning of the experiment they begin to get bad and there are different patches of the type 'u this place aura bad'.

The same applies to all kinds of extrasensors, magicians, telekinetics and other shushers, proudly broadcasting from all kinds of REN-TV, but merging when requested to demonstrate.
Because to demonstrate, except for spells and pathos, there is nothing. And money from trusted followers do not want to be lost.

People with curious possibilities, I think, exist. But they will not rise up, because either they will crush out of fear (people generally like to reject / destroy everything unusual), or they will go to study.

XXX is
and peripheral)
Rectal gland removal is the removal of glands in the ass.
Perrectal is through the ass.)

YYYY
I remembered :)

XXX is
I have only medical parents, I have heard this expression from the kindergarten.

YYYY
A difficult childhood.

XXX is
Perrectal

I sit in the guests of a friend, his little daughter runs into the room with a paper in her hands, as it turned out a calendar, shows us, ticks in it on March 28 and says tomorrow the second eighth of March!) My friend and I crossed.)

X is fucking! Instead of Earth Hour, we had Two Hours of Chebureques under Whiskey and then Half Hour of Cognac with Chocolate on the Bridge.

XXX What is it?
zzz These are my favorite walking boots.
I didn’t know you were going on a journey.
Zzz I am going to Omsk.

at work. I go out to smoke. The snow goes... on the cigarette falls, in the mouth - in general, not a comilfo. And here, I am standing in a smoker, next to a large such a tree grows - without leaves, of course. I think, “Behold, summer will come, leaves will appear on the trees. I will then hide under the tree from the snow." And, after all, I started seriously thinking about this idea...