bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №138001
 19.01.2017
In both cases, the dinner was purchased in the store/order, and for the second I even had to pay myself. Only one of the massages was made, and Martini had to buy me too. What am I doing wrong?

The most obvious thing is that you don’t choose men that way, madam.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №138000
 19.01.2017
XXX: By the way
X: Do you want a good story?
XXX is [link]
xxx: Here's this code drawing a triangle on the screen through Vulkan
Xxx: 900 lines
XX: To draw a triangle
XXX: And I try to make it work for myself.
YYY: 900 lines
Tagged: fucking
YYY: So much
xxx: Because it is much closer to iron than OpenGL. If before it was enough to create a context, attach it to a window and draw in it, then now the whole process of initialization is carried out manually.
XXX is. You used to just tear off a piece of toilet paper and chew yourself, and now you have a robot that rubs your ass to the mirror glare in five hundred seconds, but he needs to give an accurate set of instructions, and if you at least somewhere go wrong, he will at best scratch your ass, and at worst will tear your eggs off.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №137999
 19.01.2017
The xxx:
>"The Russians continue to answer me in English when I try to speak Russian"
And I was offended when the foreigners in the D.S. first asked the road to Tretyakovka on the surzhik, and then apologized and fucked up when I began to demonstrate my knowledge in English.

YYYY :
Imagine how it looked.
Where is Nahodutsa Tretiakovskaya gakererya?
-Hello, komrad, the Tretyakov gallery yit bin right zen left a little bit right in front of the wall. of Twerkhstein?
-Prostite us, we don't ponimaem that you try to tell us
Are you fighting there, Facking Pindos?
Oh, sorry, we needn't pomosh, disvidania, have a nice den

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №137998
 19.01.2017
I have a place near my home where civilians try to walk less often – an abandoned building – the hospital moved into a new room, and the old walls remained. There are those who get there, from harmless schoolwalkers to drug addicts, who for the sake of a dose can rob, or even blow a knife (there have been cases). Neighbors, gently speaking, are not pleased, they write to all possible instances with requests to do something, no effect yet.

A couple of months ago in our house settled a wonderful neighbor - such, you know, advanced, conscious and so on. The neighbor who came with the request to sign the next collective letter learned from him that we are all angry, we are taking away from drug addicts the freedom to be drug addicts and we should be ashamed. Say, if I wish him to cross up with free drug addicts soon, I’m very evil, right?

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №137997
 19.01.2017
C Habbra
Q: Can I release without bugs after a meditation course?
WOW: No, but you can stop worrying about it.

[ + 23 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №137996
 19.01.2017
These pseudo-thinkers need protection from believers.
The man who thinks and understands knows that he is not the pope of the earth,
bla bla bla
... and disruptive health problems make it impossible to realize that around you can be people with different views, priorities, life experiences.
and ==
That’s why the “believers” themselves don’t understand the above. Your faith (who in Muhammad, who in Allah, who in Jesus) is your personal affair. Do not try to vaccinate others if they do not ask for it.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №137995
 19.01.2017
Just to burst into the mouth:

I’ll tell you more – not all Childfreys are childless.

You won’t believe it, but that’s all. The term is English-language, has a completely unambiguous meaning: no children. Sugar-free without sugar.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №137994
 19.01.2017
Zzz: How do I get to the first room in the arbitration court?
XXX: The first room is on the first floor. To get there you need to go through the entrance, pass the guards, climb the third floor and go to the end of the corridor. When all hope leaves you and a dark grief comes, a staircase opens up on the left of the wall. On it you need to go down to the second floor, there go a little forward to the other staircase and go out to the back entrance, near which the first hall is located.
Zzzz: It is clear. I will need a fireman, a magician and a thief.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №137993
 19.01.2017
And to the phone they now approached their grandfather, the master of the art word.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №137992
 19.01.2017
You built something.

You know, the flu. The press hit for a week.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №137991
 19.01.2017
Fighted aircraft. Charter flight Phuket-Almaty Everyone was fed, drank, and returned home from vacation. Silence: Somebody squeezed, somebody was watching Operation Y on airplane TV.
A man in the center of the salon plays "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire" on a tablet. It reaches a maximum of 120 thousand, further no - already painful questions. Internet at an altitude of 10,000 km above Afghanistan is not at hand, you can’t walk.
The neighbors of the man first watch with interest, then begin to suggest. The man reads questions and answers.
Louder, please, I can hear it from the back.
Half an hour later, he plays three rows - a row of men, and rows in front and back. Disputes, disagreements and screams begin.
- Przhevalsky was... archaeologist, paleontologist, botanist, geographer, with a seated voice, the man speaks the question of 120 thousand.
The Paleontologist! A thick aunt screams from the back.
- 50 to 50 use, - strongly recommends stuck next to the steward.
Do not waste the clue! The neighbor shouts to the right.
Within an hour, the captain’s voice is heard.
Dear passengers! We strongly recommend that you do not respond without discussing the crew!
The nose and tail of the plane were applauded.
True answers are accompanied by pleasure, and unbelievers are bored with "Boo". Someone already demands to pass the tablet to the captain - let him voice questions for the whole salon!
Seven hours of flight passed unnoticed.
I never got a million.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №137990
 19.01.2017
XXX is fucking
XXX: No, well on me, it’s written that I’m an aitišnik?
xxx: Here my mom called the police, when you remember my father came off the coil when I was still switching off the microphone
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
xxx: Well the one who questioned me saw the second monitor, asked the type is the second computer or what, well I said that the second monitor, the type is more convenient to work
XXX: He asked me, “Listen, do you know how to reinstall the wheel?”
xxx: Shortest +1 customer.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №137989
 19.01.2017
A penalty is a tax for what you have done wrong.
A tax is a penalty for what you did right.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №137988
 19.01.2017
From the cold, I was advised to bury honey. I buried a half-litre bowl. In a week the cold passed.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №137987
 19.01.2017
@BigEmoTIK: My boss is making some complex and huge report. At the end of the day, his boss comes in.
How is the report?
Did things go much faster?
After I told you?
After you said to do it faster.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №137986
 19.01.2017
There is such a phenomenon – a (social) norm.

Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah

Here is the disrespectful. If there were not those who criticize this very norm and try to change it, we would still be sitting in caves. Previously, the norm was torture in the investigation of crimes (especially in China, whole torture treatises were written), murder of their own children under the law (Roman law), forced marriages, often with minors (especially in the East), lack of any social guarantees for the majority, lack of normal medicine and general education (universally), slavery or bondage law (USA, Russia, but not only) and so on, and so on.

So I see you at times when your father orders your brother to kill and you to marry an old sadist, or vice versa, if you are a man. How you are sold to another person and you work for him for scarce food. How your children die in childhood but you can’t read. You would also pray for the holy norm, right?

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №137985
 19.01.2017
XXX: First, girls are strongly opposed to boys using cosmetics, it is a female privilege, boys are lower.

I would like to see the litso of the aristocrat of the eighteenth century in response to such a pretense.

YYY: I would also look with interest. Better far away, or they had swords with them all the time.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №137984
 19.01.2017
I don’t know how astrology looks at this, but I’m sure people born on January 1, 1970 have the ability to kill some computer programs and websites.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №137983
 19.01.2017
A friend today wrote a statement on his own request. He writes in вотсап: "I have such a downturn here at work, and I am filled with a feeling of chagrin and restlessness))"

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №137982
 19.01.2017
xxx: I slowly insert my routing table into your heated chest.


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