There is only a paradise for introverts!
YYY: And if there are introverts there, will this place remain a paradise for introverts?
XXX: Some of Schrödinger’s questions are straight.
Zzzz: It will stay. Introverts are not sociopaths. True, if there is at least one extrovert among them, then not.

This story was told to me by my wife. When she was 5-6 years old, in the kindergarten once children decided to play as daughters-mothers. Everyone was given roles, the boys also played.

And here, when the boy, playing the role of a daddy, was to "return from work," he said, "Manka, take off the cowards, I'm back home! “”

Is his father a sailor or a long-haul driver?

I ordered a pizza an hour ago.

In a minute, 40 calls to the door, not the home phone. I cried, I asked, “Who?”

The pizza was brought by a 18-year-old boy, his face was in blood, his lip was broken, his ear was red, and the second white one was very in the eye. What happened?

What drunk men stunned him on the first floor, for what, he scattered the advertisement on the boxes. He just came on order. Upon calling the police, he refused:

- I have three more orders in the car, I will be fired, I have been washing you for a long time.

We have, near work, a small fast food store, which I frequently look at, in the lunch break, I used to say so... And it turns out that I am constantly intersecting there with an employee from the neighboring office - Nicholas, who every time orders a shaurma and, likewise, every time, the question of the cashier: "Do you have a normal?" - replies dissatisfied with phrases like: "No, blatant magic! Put on the pelargon! No, with pearl buttons!” explaining his dissatisfaction with the fact that there should be no questions, and if there is a need for some change, he will say it himself.



About an hour ago I heard the screams of the Rugians in the neighboring office, the content of which was mostly obscene, and went to find out what was going on. I go in, in the middle of the office, Nikolai stands, rubs his hair on his head and pours his soul mat in an open paper bag of fast food. It turned out that he once again answered the question: "Do you have the usual?" - with the phrase: "No, turned out!" - and, returning to work, found in the package a rolled lava, around which there was a mixture of meat, mixed with mayonnaise, onion and greens, but rushing out, as it should be, did not go, remembering his wishes to order.

Last week, I walked to the house, parked next to the entrance where my apartment is located, moms with year-olds, tugosers and children of a little older were tired near the entrance. I greeted and went home.

In the morning, on Saturday, at 9-15, the door ring, and this is not a modest ringing, but a straight such a loud ringing. I woke up, I went to open the door, I looked in the eyes, a neighbor stands. I open the door and she says, “Hello doctor,” I woke up, where do you know I am a doctor? She answers, you yesterday when you came up, I under the front glass of you saw a pass to the territory of the GCB, and your surname on it, here and brought to you my "chicken" to look, he had something with his throat ( for a minute, I was never a pediatrician, and much less not an ENT, rehabilitologist I) I from such greed, of course, but the lady's son let in and even examined the throat, and called a friend-pediatrician, the diagnosis was a tonsillitis, and urgent hospitalization to the hospital in order to clarify the diagnosis and if removal of these very tonsils is needed. I said goodbye, she left, I thought about how naughty people are and went to bed further to see her deserved dreams.

In the evening of the same day we planned a small sabotage with friends in honor of the 2nd anniversary of the wedding with my wife, the guests came, we drank a couple of drinks, all like people. At 20 a.m. the door is ringing, I open the door without a back-thinking, she is standing, and she says, "I am sick, the temperature is 39, what to do?" I answer, madam eptit, I said in the morning urgently to the hospital, why buried the child? Yes, says aunt, we decided to try the rinse, afraid of the operation. The next question just killed me. Are you drunk? ! to My aunt says! I have a child who is sick, and you are drinking here, I thought for a second if I didn’t confuse my horms in the west of the capital, with my modest department, I thought and understood that it wasn’t, just my aunt is bending the rod. He kindly said goodbye and went to his friends.

I told them, laughed and forgot.

in the morning. The door knocks (you guess who’s coming? is right.

The first question is, have you trembled?

Second, what to do with my son?

He found the number of the apartment, sent, called an ambulance, the boy was taken.

After that, he became the enemy of all the moms within a radius of 3 km from home and a drunken doctor.

I called a taxi to the office today. There are two exits from the building, one to one street, the other to the other. A taxi driver calls and asks a question, which for 20 seconds caught me into a stupor:



Hi to you! Did you call a taxi to that address? Going by wife or husband?



I remained silent, stumbled, then it only came - one exit from the building on the side of Krupskaya Street, the second - on the side of Lenin Street... I never thought of such a funny coincidence, although I have been working here for a long time.

I was stuck with an unfamiliar girl in the elevator. I approached the panel, squeezing the buttons of different floors. The elevator does not respond. Press the call button of the controller. and silence. As I look at the girl, I say:

Arrived

The girl breathed hard.

Well, I think you need to have a conversation with a girl somehow to clear up the situation. I also ask her in a joke:

Are you not a maniac?

The girl smiling:

No is

I am :

“It’s good... it’s good, or two maniacs in one elevator is too much.

The girl:

and what? 0 0 0



In general, to discharge the situation is not my horse, a blessing that in a few minutes called the controller and went free.

Not so many girls have a computer at home lately. Don’t turn to anyone...

Parents put on the child rubber boots, and then scared that he swallowed them.
God, give these idiots a little wisdom!

X: Do you know how cool it is to work in an IT company as a woman?
Full of men and no competition :)
X: Almost so is it. The bathroom belongs to you. It always shines out of cleanliness and not busy ;)

The holiday in Thailand.

This is cool in the cages, you go in, you choose a creature in the aquarium and they prepare it with you
You can with your bucket!

What about your creature?

zzz: from their creature there are people who are not happy in marriage.

We are separating from you, dear, and I hope we are not enemies. I wish you great happiness, even if you’d rather die.

At the first year, our entire company still lived with their parents, and Anka became the owner of a separate home - her mother at that time had died a long time ago, and Dad married and moved to live with his mother-in-law (on the neighboring street, but still). She often gathered companies, everybody stayed overnight, in general, there was a courtyard in the house.

One day our friend Valera, who lived with a girl, argued with this girl and for a couple of days, until he finds a new apartment, depended on Annie. He came with a minimum of things, among which were “pretty” trousers for exams and interviews, and when he left, left a bag with the words “Then I’ll take it.” And now it is a month two. Calls Valer with the question - said, I can't find something trousers, An, did not leave you? Immediately he fought with a new girl who seemed extremely strange that a man could forget the pants of a strange woman.

Sister: I was recently called, like they offer a magic remedy for weight loss, I told them that I have the perfect figure and I am all pleased, they did not believe and began to ask the ratio of height to weight. I lied and they jealously apologized.

Atheists claim that there is no God because they do not see him, well, then the blind can claim that there is no light because he does not see him either. Chess and Mat.
Yyy: The blind, besides sight, has other feelings. Even the blind can make sure that there is light, using a simple magnifying glass, or, for example, on a hot day, he can unmistakably say where there is a shadow and where it is not.

> to the point!
When I pull out of Ashan a bag of food, all of this "not disfourned, strong and economical", and the other and the other... there is no shit and close does not fit, afraid - they will be helped.
But to kick off the door, jump in the bus and take a nice place - always please.
Fuck the valley.

And a sense of humor. Ugly woman, how dare you be so perfect and not be ashamed of it.
Married to Yeshiva.
I admire and admire at the same time.

Who would say:

There is no worse ignorant than the ignorant who is confident in his right:
"Friend burned: "Let’s go to the United States? I want to see London" Good knowledge in Political Economy."
Wikipedia does not hide that in addition to the capital of England:
London is a city in Ontario, Canada.
London is a city in the state of California, USA.
London is a city in the state of Kentucky, USA.
London is a city in the state of Ohio, USA.
London is a city in the state of Texas, USA.

You confuse two terms: ignorant - the one who is not polite, and ignorant - the one who does not know.

Is it how? We are mercantile crazy because you want sex with us?

No, dolboeb, that’s: while you only need sex from women, you’ll only get mercantial blades.

Hmmm Here, over the years of traveling in electric cars, first to the universe, then to work, I brought out my way of protecting myself from stumbling. If the guy/man who addressed me falls under my personal definition of cloud, then I use it. The headphones. Here you go to yourself so beautiful, you do not touch anyone, and here something rolls to you and starts to rub something on you. You, lustfully smiling at him, clearly remove your headphones and, continuing to smile, loudly apologize for listening to the Castle, Kafka’s unfinished work, and for not hearing what you were told. And extremely polite, and most importantly, loudly, ask to repeat. For all the times not washed only those who asked how far to such a station. Yes, and only one then asked why I was talking about Kafka. Hearing the explanation, I smiled slightly, and we gently talked all the way. The rest burst into something unclear like "nothing" and left. Yes, I understand, I look strange at the same time, but if I’m not interested in dating in public transport, then some inadequacy is the best protection.

That was definitely a chest!
WOW: What did you get?
They have such a characteristic soap taste.
WOW: I did not notice.
That’s because you’ve never tried a breast.
That’s because I’ve never tried soap.