This is where old age came to me.

I woke up at half five this morning. It was five o’clock and I didn’t sleep. He got up and went to the kitchen. Drinking tea and reading. When the wife and children got up, it turned out that all this time I was bragging something, breathing - hindering them from sleeping.

But it is OK. I was sitting at work, I had paperwork. Tired and... He slept. Right sitting on a chair. I woke up from what broke up. It was quiet, but colleagues heard it.

It is now irritated by the old pearl.

and confused.

I work in the boiler. The responsibility of our organization includes the service of electricity BU and residential town. A colleague told the story. Further from his words.





I went to inspect the car of the residential town. I go into the dining room, the cook (woman) looks at me with the look "what do you need?" I answered:



I came for inspection.



Where are the gloves?



...??? to



Where are your gloves?



What kind of gloves? And I thought, “Is it dielectric? “I just came to see them, I just came to look.”



The Medical. Are you going to look at us right here?

I have a friend, an uncle, 50 years old. Funny such: he really likes to argue about the best Soviet education in the world and at the same time believes in all the crazy conspiracy theories read on the internet. As a result, he serves them with pathos - say, we, Soviet-educated people, understand this, and you are living in ignorance, unhappy children of the EGE.

His latest hobby is the hypothesis that modern children begin to speak late, because they are little breastfed and drunk with cow's milk - for instance, they are mowing like calves! But when our ancestors fed babies with a breastfeeding until the end, everyone could have a conversation for a year, read books at two... It is told loudly, artistically, with pathos.

The employee, sitting in the corner, can’t stand, and as if himself, but says loud enough:

and ah. I see somebody here being fed milk!

The government ordered Rosneft to receive 692 billion rubles from the sale of 19,5% of Rosneft. But the value of the package, fixed in euros, for a week after the announcement of the deal has already fallen by 30 billion rubles."The benchmark of fabulous dolboebism... Fix the value in euros, foolishly, parallelly plunging the course of the euro to the ruble with agreements on the restriction of oil production...

The acquaintance, by kindness of the soul, submitted a "wise" article from a glamorous magazine with pictures. How important it is to believe in yourself and everything will be great. I have not laughed so long ago! Approximately at the end of this opus is the call:"Really a miracle – believe in yourself.".... It’s like comrades, but only beasts... Now I’m considered even stranger than usual)))

The difference in temperature perception.
One day, while on a business trip to Nadym, I walked around the city for an hour. I was unspeakably surprised when I saw the temperature on the street board: -33. It seemed, no less than -10.
P.S I am Moscow.

I needed the money, it was on my wife’s account. Further from her words:

I come to the gathering, I take the bill, I defend the line, I approach the window, I say - I want to take off 50 thousand. The ruble. The operator takes the documents, checks everything, says “good” and “hangs.” Just sit for one or two minutes. Waiting for something.

My wife: Is something wrong? Who are we waiting?

Operator: To remove more than 50 thousand requires confirmation of the second operator, and it is now busy.

My wife: But I’m making 50,000 and not more.

Operator: Anyway, starting with 50 thousand we have a ban program. Wait for the second operator, she is now signing a contract with the customer, will be released in five minutes. (Aha, she is... )

My wife: Okay Then I want to remove 49 thousand 999 rubles... So can I? ; )

The operator stumbles for a few seconds.

Operator: Yes I can. Do you have a ruble?

He gives my wife 50 thousand rubles, my wife gives him a ruble.



He came, told me, and was struck. I say then I should have added, "and now I want to take off another ruble."

XHHH: We are swimming. Defenders send orders to institutions for the study of the human organism’s normophloor and the possibility of its genetic modification. Apparently for improvement.
They quickly focused. Apparently, you read in the tyrant about toxoplasmosis and its management of human behavior.
Per I’m paranoid, but I expect that all this will end up smelting the bacteria on the bread sold through retail, which allegedly will make us love some other ‘governing’ greedy thing.
Do not laugh. They are all serious about it, the grandmothers have already highlighted it.
Maybe you’ll vote for a naval. Genetically modified toxoplasma will stop you.

V.U.U.U.U.U.U.U.U.U.U.U.U.U.U.U.U.U.U.U.U.U.U.U.U.U.U.U.U.U.U.U.U.U.U.U.U.U.U.U.U.U.U.U.U.U.U.U.U.U.U.U.U.U.U.U.U.U.U.U.U.U.U.U.U.U.U.U.U.U.U.U.U.U.U.U.U.U.U.U.U.U.U.U.U.U.U.U.U.U.U.U.U.U.U.U.U.U.U.
We have never seen such an anti-utopia!

I am driving in the front road, next to me is a guy sitting, the driver aged 30-35. (A machine with an automatic door opening) They approached the next stop and suddenly the front door opens a 20-year-old girl and says (I am "I", the girl is "d"):

Go to the salon, there is no room.

I looked around and a couple of people stood there. I look at the girl, I find no external reasons to give her a place (pregnant, leg / arm / head broken).

I: What, I forgive you?

D: Well, go out, I want to sit.

I don’t know why, but I instinctively blocked the door, pressed the door lock and said to the driver, “Touch.” The driver immediately closed the automatic door and went, saying a moment later, "Nah*i her, let her walk."

I don't know what it was, I hope the girl is okay.

Database over 20GB, we make the index...

y: the index
Y: 5 minutes already created
Fifteen minutes later...
y: 20 minutes, flight normal =)
X is comfortable
X: Why are you sitting? Creating an index
and = =
and: precisely
y: for video engineers this is called "I have video rendered"
y: u date sciences - "the model is learning"
y: and we have "the index is created"

Photo: court hall, roof decorated with New Year's rain
Signature: Court employees know how to raise the New Year’s mood.

The commentary:
The sentence was read "10 years of strict" and here from the ceiling of the mushura and the puppy-chlop)

The Measures

The same body as the water in the river by the knee, and the fish, well, a lot.* is

One acquaintance savior said: "Snow - at the most advanced".

The nudists are those whom the cowards prevent from resting.

Yesterday’s story from Grubas reminded me (by the way, thank you very much for the story). The story is also not funny, so you can put a minus, I will not be offended.
So about the heroic mother/wife and animals (truth in the human face), and in general, just about love.
My grandfather was born in Odessa in 1912, but lived his childhood in a town near the city. Ukraine is not the most prosperous place to live, and I am not talking about the terrible years of the Civil War. White, red, Germans, Grigorievans, Machnovs, Petlyurovans, Englishmen, Germans, Fratsuzs, Gethmans, Poles, Nationalists, Monarchists, Octorists, Anarchists, Cossacks, and finally just bandits of all sorts and grains mixed into one terrible cluster that rolled and left behind tears and blood.
The power and troops under Odessa changed almost daily. And in the same place on one edge could be red, on the other green, and in the middle of power could not be at all. And everyone believed that the civilian population only exists that would beat it all that is. It was considered good if only it was possible to get rid of money or products. It could have been worse.
One day in 1919, when the white left, and the red were not yet there, a gang entered the outskirts of the town where my grandfather’s family lived. I don't know what ideology she professed, but most likely no - just freezers / bandits. They walked around the houses, taking everything they looked at and driven everyone out on the street. Then the ataman looked at the crowd of confused people whose eyes were frightened and said. “Men are to be shot.”
And quickly several dozen men were separated and led to the balk behind the place. There were screams of women and children, but the bandits didn’t care. They had to leave quickly, because the red parts had to come here.
My grandfather was a simple worker in the store and was not a hero at all. And he walked in that crowd, went to shoot. He walked like dozens of his neighbors and acquaintances. There was a scream behind them. I do not know why the ataman did not say to shoot the others, but there was no order for women and children and they stayed in the town.
And when the crowd was brought to the balcony, this happened. There was no Yul Brunner, no magnificent 7ka, not even Rambo. When they were caught up, he was terrified to see that my grandmother was following the men who were to be shot. And not alone. She pulled my crying grandfather and his eight-year-old sister in her arms. No more women and children in the town followed the men.
And when he was put on the back to the wool in the first party to be shot, she took the children in her arms and stood next to him. There were no tears in the eyes, no fear, only the determination of despair. They even tried to drive her away, but she said firmly, “The family should not be separated. Either you shoot us all together or let him go.” I let the girl go and grabbed my grandfather and held my grandfather with the other hand.
Atman changed his face. “Do you understand what you are doing?” He was stunned. She once again said, “The family should not be separated.” I don’t know what I found on the ataman (I don’t think he regretted 3 bullets). But something happened. It became quiet. His great-grandfather told me that he had even heard the ataman say in half a voice, “Here’s a fucking grandmother, she’s stuck in her own. Even the children do not regret it. “Don’t be afraid, fuck.” "Okay, fuck him - let him take, since he loves it." And the grandfather, receiving an example on his back, was expelled. And he, his grandmother, his grandfather and his sister returned to the village.
All the others were shot.
They did not live in the town, left for Odessa. It was very hard. Neighbors looked at them strangely.
I think often now. What was right to do to her then? On the one hand, she did not risk herself. They could easily shoot everyone. And on the other hand, it’s precisely that... I don’t even know how to call it... Step by step, she saved her husband, family.
Almost a century has passed. I live in another country and even on another continent. And now time is different, "human", and it is unlikely that something like this will happen again. It turns inside, and then? What if? What would I like my wife to do in such a situation? What would I do in her place? Sometimes I think I know.
Sometimes I don’t find an answer for myself.

If you listen to some liberal and western media, Russia is a miserable gas station that appoints an American president and is preparing to conquer Europe.

>>> where at -15 can blow a rather strong wind.
>>> In more northern areas up to -20 for frost does not count.

Reminded, a friend told an army story, quite like the truth.
They were flying in the winter to Chelyabinsk or Ufa, I don’t remember exactly, a man twenty, half Siberians, half local Urals. At the airport they had to move onto another ship and fly on.
Before landing, the pilots learned the weather at the landing site. The same -15 and wind 5 meters per second. The Urals used to cheer for warm things, the Siberians, looking at them, began to tell something about the tropical paradise and palm trees.
Ten minutes after landing and landing, the Urals quietly stood waiting for the loading, while the Siberians with the screams of "how you live here at all" drove around the airport in search of warm drinks.

For six years my work has been related to strategic management – basically, I told people how to build their business. Now I wanted to try to build it.

to this:
A puppy look.
Just don’t tell her anything. Come and beat immediately.
...
What a funny story... Unfortunately, in order for the child to say so, it needs to be seen. He doesn’t know that he can beat his mother.

And thanks to Burunduk, a familiar fairy believes that Gogol wrote in the style of fantasy.

Is it not? One "Nose" what it is worth. A "Night..." If this was written by a modern writer, it would be called fantasy.

The cottage history. Lulz is little, meaning is much.

My grandmother once had a cat. Flegma is still silent, but not lazy, with a philosophical view of the world. And someone brought from the street a little cat, another milk sauce. Phimka looked at the beast, smelled and lay down next to him. The cat quickly explored and sucked to the rudiments of the milk glands. The cat liked it, and the kitten after two weeks of persistence and effort stimulated Fimke's lactation (I checked it personally).

The cat grew up and turned into a cat called the Frozen. Fimka methodically taught her to catch mice, and they lived soul to soul. Sometimes they were in love, but not like all cats - the female took the fur and went. No, they did it on grandmother’s bed, singing and going out, quietly, carefully and in mutual agreement. After the first swallow, the cat was sterilized, one of the kittens was left for me.

One day, the grandmother left for a while, and the cats went to look for her. Together as usual. Only Froska returned, the cat died unknown where. The cat lived in silence, lying in a corner and not touching food.

They almost never swallowed. I was a younger student at the time, but I remembered their eyes well – smart and meaningful. Fimka and Frossk were like people who were misunderstood to be born cats.

This is the story.
AVI