Xxx: When I was in the third class, we found someone throwing out a sea pig. While we carried her home, a boy came to us from the neighboring courtyard and asked where we would go.

I told him that there was a cage for the rabbit at home and that she would live there, and he replied that the pig was marine, that he had to live in the water, that he had an aquarium and we had to give him the pig so that he could place it in that aquarium and fill it with water.

As a graduate child, I told him that the pig was called so because it was brought from South America and was originally overseas, and then lost.

Patsanu had nothing to do and he went home, and the pig successfully settled in my cage (where she lived for a long time and a lot of shit).

In the morning he was already waiting for me on the way to school and said that he asked his father about where the pigs should live and his father said that I was a pigeon. I did not find anything to answer then.

So, Oleg S., if you are reading this text, then know: Dubaeb is you.

I do not like to waste money. But the best way to use the money has not yet been found.

In the second year of university study, we started a course in psychology. Prepod was a corresponding, such an evasive type. On the first pair, he gave a jokeful advice for the future: always go to work with a folder of documents, the table of the worker also filled with pieces of various papers, carry them with you even to the dining room and then the bosses will consider you a hardworking and valuable worker, as if you did not roll a fool. A month after this lecture, the lecturer was appointed dean. I still remember that advice :)

We have not yet gotten away from “forced corruption”, and here is a new trick – foreign citizenship of overwhelming force.

Xxx: I go to the store near the house and also take chicken barks for the dog, and there two sellers, one for 40 years and the other young, but with a kind of sense of humor. I go to them and ask the young woman if there is any dog joy. she answers: the chicken heads are over, but there is a head of a sheep, the truth has to separate it from the body, do you have a tail with you?

He points his finger at his partner.

and lifhack.

Do you like to give people advice but no one wants to listen to you?

Everything is elementary: call it consultation, and start taking money - there will be no repulsion from customers right away!

We talked about some work moment with a colleague. And he gave me this tirade in defense of his point of view:

You are wrong! On one occasion to make conclusions stupid, it is necessary to make a large sample of cases...
Look, I came somehow with my daughter, but without my wife in Sochi for vacation. My wife was detained for a few days at work.
We are registered at the reception by a beautiful young receptionist. During the registration he asks:
“There are three, and where is your wife?”
I am her:
“And my girlfriend, with her lover Yakin, fled to the Caucasus today...”
I look, and her eyes are glazed, she hangs like, she looks at me and breathes so that another elderly receptionist standing next to her had to push her elbow, and like to feel:
“What a tension! He jokes, it's a Soviet film joke..." The young woman froze off like, only the eyes from now on she threw on us exclusively ice...
As a result, all the holidays I loaded, I said I was already so old, my memes are shit, no one to talk to, no one understands me, etc. and etc.
The next year I went back to Sochi, a different hotel.
As a result, his wife was arrested at work again. This time at the hotel reception we were welcomed by a guy, even younger than the receptionist from last year.
I wonder where my wife is. I made him a fool again:
And my mother-in-law, with her lover Yakin, fled to the Caucasus today.
He pulled his gaze from the compass, swallowing his palm on the table and cried:
“Take it off!!”
I am on the machine:
“Hey to God!”
He is already smiling:
“They are hunting?”
It turned me around, I rattled like an insane. broke along with him.
All the holidays were relaxed and fun.
So Petrovich, one case is not a case at all, but a coincidence.
For far-reaching conclusions, you need to consider as much sample as possible...

If anyone else hopes to knock out any plugs from the party of power, hurry: on September 19, all their promises will turn into a pumpkin...

I was invited to visit. The weather was wintery, frosty, snowy, only without moths. The distance to the destination is 4 km, I think - in 40 minutes I will get to walk. It is done, I dress, I go. On the street was all minus 18, dressed decently, but did not calculate that walking a quick step decently warms the body.

After 20 minutes, I pulled off my jacket. Five minutes later, I removed the shirt. And two more, a hat. My appearance is specific. Beard and shaved skull. I take off my hat, I feel the steam on my skin that the steam is coming from my head. At that moment, I met with the eyes of a blind black man stuck in a thick-walled pantyhose. This look of complete madness I remembered for a long time.

I live in a new apartment.

Neighbors on the floor have been doing repairs for six months.

It turned out that the repair for the sake of the sale, such as bought black and "flavored" sold.

So they sold.

And you know what?

I go out of my apartment this morning and see:

New neighbors open the door to bring interior items into the common corridor and scratch wallpapers.

Mrs...

The opposition is fighting for a normal increase in payments to citizens monthly and on a lifetime basis, and not for a submission once in a lifetime and then to elections!

When I was young, I had a big breast. Her name was Irina. Low, slim, with elegant hands and legs – and suddenly two etched melons, a kilogram of two each. Operations to reduce the breast in the USSR were not done, and she was very suffering from constant carrying excessive weight. And also narrow blades of Soviet sweepstakes rubbed her shoulders to blood. Therefore, as part of each new underwear, Irina must have purchased a backpack with robust, wide-banded blades. She cut them off and replaced them with brushes.

The late 90s came, and the underwear and backpacks disappeared from the sale. But as it turned out, not entirely. And here Irina passes past the absolutely empty window of the "Sports goods" store and sees through this window a few backpacks on the empty in the rest of the shelf. Inside the store of backpacks is three, and Irina decides to take all three, because tomorrow the money will be cheaper again, and backpacks in the sale, apparently, will never be again.

After a few minutes she stands near the exit, packs two backpacks into the third and thinks it would be great to jump on the underwear now. At this time, a young man enters the store, sees an empty shelf, where there were just backpacks, turns his eyes on Irina, apologizes for the worry and addresses her with these words:
Please sell me two bags. Why do you need three? I will pay as much as you say.
Irina, evaluating the young man as sympathetic and polite, decides to continue the unbinding conversation. Of course, with a firm intention not to offend yourself.
I really just need a backpack. and. You will be arranged without sluts - take all three! Probably there are two more in the house, too, without bars. But I disagree with money: it depreciates every day. If you have something on barter, we can exchange.
The young man is not surprised by Irina’s words (remember, it was the 90s), but, on the contrary, literally blooms:
It is surprising how perfectly our interests match! The lashes do not matter to me at all. We are leaving. You can take one suitcase and one bag per person. We got our suitcases, but we can’t find a bag bag. The backpacks, of course, are still wet, but somehow we cut down the size. The pencil is wise. What do you need in exchange?
By this time, Irina already thinks about something completely different and therefore on the machine gives what her head was occupied before the conversation:
Bustle size 9!
The young man is slightly confused, then turns his gaze from the backpacks to the pointed Irina, or rather to the part of her figure between her waist and neck, carefully examines and, almost without shutting down, says:
“You know, my mother’s underwear is sent from Philadelphia by her sister, my aunt. They are, as you can say, very large. We go to them and come up with something.

Three months later they went to America together.

Have you at least once encountered the fairy tale that there was Vasilis the Wise Richter washed, fed and laid to sleep? Why does Baba Yaga always do this?

Is it possible to shake after the first dose of the vaccine?



YYY: It can’t be immediately. Go home first.

Well, and I will finally get a repayment - to me, as a working retiree, the president urged to return as much as 10 thousand rubles from the sixty, fled for a year from my pension.

Fiction writer Alexander Romanovich Belyaev.
It was he who invented the head of Professor Dowell, the flying man Ariel, Ichtiander...
He invented it because he did not give up. Although his entire life is a typical manifestation of what is called the "genus curse" in the people. How it really is called, nobody knows.
As a child, Alexander Belyaev first lost his sister - she died of sarcoma. Then his brother drowned. Then his father died, and Sasha had to make a living for himself - he was still a teenager. And as a child, he damaged his eye, which later led to almost loss of vision. As a child, he learned to play violin and piano. He started writing, composing, playing in theatre. Then, in his youth, Stanislavsky himself invited him to his troupe — but he refused.
Maybe because of my family. Who knows? He just got married for the first time. Two months later, his wife left him and went to another. Time passed, the wound lasted and he married a lovely girl again. At the same time, he became ill with bone tuberculosis. It was almost a sentence. Belyaev was enclosed entirely in plaster, like a mummy - for three years. Three years in the plaster had to lie in bed. The wife left, saying that she was not going to take care of the ruins, not for this she married. And Belyaev was lying down, all wrapped in the plaster. It was then that he invented Professor Dowell's head - when a fly sat on his face and began to crawl. And he could not move his finger to drive her out... But this horrible incident prompted Belyaev to write a novel. Then, when he still stood on his feet, he began to walk in a celluloid corset. Half blind and ugly. He was a beautiful man in his youth.
He wrote and wrote his famous novels Fantasy did not exhaust it, good defeated evil, people went beyond their possibilities, flew to other planets, invented rescue technologies, loved and believed. He wrote a little sad. quite a little. If you remember what he was in...
He later married a good woman. Two daughters were born. One died of meningitis, the other also became ill with tuberculosis. Then the Nazis came to the Tsarskoye Selo and the occupation began. Belyaev could not fight — he barely walked. I could not leave. He died semi-paralyzed, from hunger and cold. His wife and daughter were abducted to Germany. They did not even know where Alexander Romanovich was buried.
He then handed over to his wife all that was left of her husband, the glasses. Nothing else remains. Novels, novels and stories. And the glasses. To which was attached a curved paper, a note. There were words that the dying writer wrote to his wife: “Don’t look for me on earth. There is nothing left of me here. “Your Ariel...”
by Anna Kirjanova

Surprisingly, the poorer a country is, the harder it is to take off a money-filled plane with a shocking president.

One large corporation organized a corporation in Prague. Well, of course, at the end of the official part, there was an unofficial -

The bathroom, the table, the girls, etc. Well, of course, all this was photographed.

An employee of such a firm, leaving home, asked the photographer to filter those on which there were girls, because the fact of the girls in the photos would be fatal for him in the relationship with his wife.

One day, when he returns from work, he finds his wife in full anger:

I was with Grandma!

You are what!

It was!

He throws a envelope with photos. He takes photographs, convulsively overtakes -

Not one girl! He is unconscious:

Not a single girl?! to

Turn the envelope!

He turned the envelope, and from his hand was written:

“Don’t put pictures of grandmothers here!”“!”

My friend’s friend painted a green on his ass while she was asleep. A week later, she found a sad smile on her other half-jacket.

It is a pity that we separated. This could be the beginning of a strong friendship.



It’s a pity that my grandmother washes her ass badly. Glad you got rid of it.

Beginning of 2000. I work as a computer repair firm. Panasonic holds a free seminar in Moscow, pays for accommodation and issues certificates. The hotel is near the U.S. Embassy, I don't remember the name. I was not in Moscow, and the boss frequently waves there, on his business and party, on the eve of the departure, under the water, throws me additional tasks and dreamingly covers his eyes recalls:

- Just settled, the phone is already ringing, and in the phone "Do you not want to have a nice evening with a beautiful girl?"

The phone is silent, calling and calling.

So I flew to Moscow, got to the hotel, settled in the room. I called home and left my coordinates. The phone is silent. I walked through the evening Moscow, had dinner, returned to the room, the phone is silent. I read the book and the phone is silent. Lie to sleep. The call came early in the morning, I grab the phone, it turns out the boss is calling:

Greetings from Rec17. How are you doing?

- Boring, Vladimir Petrovich, no prostitute called in the room, you are the first.

The chief hurled somewhat unclearly, quickly said goodbye and laid the phone. I wondered what he was calling, what he wanted. And only in the subway I understood why the conversation ended so quickly.