In the solarium registered.
Inna: What about what?
What a new job for these guys! I want to go well!
Katya : Oh

With these internet clowns, I developed an interesting phobia, I am afraid to start reading texts longer than three lines.

About Functions

is a function. It is integrated:
I am the function! I will integrate it!
F: Get rid of it, cockerel!
Integral is offended. The function slid further and met the differential:
D : Oh! The function! Let me differentiate you!
F: Let you go! Differential is offended.
I complained to Integral:
D: Hear, brother, I met the function – I don’t want to differentiate!
I’ve met too, I don’t want to integrate. Let’s catch it and first integrate, and then differentiate!
D: Let it go. They captured the function and told her about their dirty intentions:
Ladies and gentlemen, you got it! I "e" in degree X

To this...

xxx: I’m increasingly noticing that my children are the best advertisement for the ‘Childfrey’ movement. The eldest generally breaks without silence, and the younger does not yet know how to speak, so he takes a loud voice, so that he does not lag behind his brother. I don’t hear myself or my colleagues.

Of course, I’m wildly sorry, but children are raised (or not raised) by their parents. Therefore, your children are the best advertisement first of all for you as a parent, not for some movement there.

Someone on top seems to mourn the injustice of our fates.

This is called rain.

(Discussions about GM maize in the Habria)

Sumanai: No one prohibited importing foreign, so as long as there are buyers in Russia, they will import.

Lindon_cano: Already grown has not been banned, I think it will be done in autumn, and seeds in the Russian Federation are prohibited by the law on the introduction of dark beasts.

XXX: Who knows the work of the courier? What are underwater stones? Thanks in advance.

YYY: Well, if you bring bad news, they will cut off their heads.

What a difference...

"In Russian airports passengers will be recognized by faces".
The worst flight will start when five flights arrive from China.

This is only for a person at first all the Chinese on one face, and the program no matter what differences to look for...

We had a new guy at work in Kosovo (bought at a fair). Heat, he sat on the floor under the air conditioner, sitting in a relaxed posture, the corner is stretched, looking for something in the book. The boss comes in, looks at him, says:

- You sit here like a shepherd right on the pasture, only a knot is missing.

that :

Why is it missing? He shows his book. Author – Knut, “The Art of Programming”.

The artist has obviously never seen sunflower grow - on the logo sunflower opened from the sun.

The commentator has clearly never seen mature sunflower - heliotropism is manifested only in young plants, after they are always turned east.

Call children strange and funny names, then their peers will cheat them and fall behind smart children who like to learn.

WOW: Citizen in a white coat, you have broken a soft sign!

I was travelling to Norway.

I decided to fly back, but the nearest flight was only the next day, and from relatives I already left (I thought I would come to the airport, sit a little, buy a ticket and wait for the flight at least 5 hours), so I did not return to them (the road to the airport is about 4 hours by public transport). and. I decided to go to the bar, a cozy one, on the second floor lived the owners and on the first was located a small restaurant with a bar stand.



He went in, greeted everyone present and sat in the corner of the bar. Imagine such a typical "wild" western cabbage somewhere in Texas, only there were flowers and cute old workers who rested until late in this cute nest. The owner of this tractor approached me and offered a firm cake with fish and a pinte of beer.

I agreed, and continued to answer her questions in the style: “Where are you from?” And “How is it? “”

I immediately replied that I was ready to order a little bit every hour, but I would need to stay here until the morning, the plane about lunch, so I won't bother you a lot.

She smiled and brought 3 pints of beer, and said, "At the expense of the establishment! “”

I didn’t want to drink it in that amount, but I couldn’t give up the “bitter” beer either, and not culturally somehow.

Drawing up 2 pins (1. 35 liters), I cuddled and began to notice.... people are no longer in the bar. My mother suspiciously touched me. The clock was long before midnight.



The doors open, police come in and approach my desk.

Immediately the grandmother (the hostess) runs up and starts screaming in pure Norwegian, and pointing to me with a finger.

I told the police that I didn’t speak Norwegian and one of them described the situation to me in English.

“You ordered 3 pints of the most expensive beer, cake and a pack of cigarettes, you’re sitting here for 5 hours and just silent or sleeping, the hostess worry, maybe you don’t have the money? Are you homeless? Can you pay for the order?”

I explain that this lady said that it was at the expense of the institution and if you need to pay, I am ready to pay for everything and leave, say I am waiting for my flight.



Here one of the policemen begins to laugh and say something to another, the woman just knocked the stomach.



It turned out that her sister, who worked during the day, did not warn her about such a guest, and leaving the shift did not transmit any information. Because of their age, they were very similar, the same fork and gray hair gathered in bunches, I didn’t even notice that this was a completely different woman.



Imagine what was going on in the head of a poor old lady, a half-drunk man sitting, speaking in the phone in Russian, and already 5 hours messing with a spoonful of the remains of a fish cake. and does not leave.



By the way, I was then served with sweets, and the police officer sat down and drank another couple of pints at my table (respective of the institution).

A friend told the police officer.

I come to the department – the people rget. What is it, I ask. Yes, they say, Lena the pervert was bound. So it’s in the OEP, what are the perverse ones there? And we have to say Lena, we have a major, such a strong grandmother, not married (the crocodile). I ask how? Yes, after lunch I went back through the park, May month, green, beautiful. Lena in a light coat from the top of the shape, sat in the air to breathe. And literally in a minute the man was painted. He sat down on the neighboring bench and looked at Lena with pleasure. And then the stitches broke up and let’s shake. She looks at Lena and smiles – the cow catches. Lena turned away, but did not break, although someone is excited by her. Here the man interrupted so and not finished, stuck and straight to Lena. And immediately says to her in the forehead, saying if she doesn't want to go home to him and get overwhelmed. Here Lena thought strongly, the man is a splinter, in a jump to her shoulder, it will get well, but... spring, you understand, it happens, and the police major wants sex.

She seemed to have agreed, but then the man broke up and whispered: "Look, goat, it is terrible as death, and it breaks like a whole! »

In vain he said it. Lena turned him and called the dress.

But the mutual happiness of spontaneous sex was so close...

In the wave of posts about compliments, I remembered a couple of those who did to me.

So in life it happened that people like to talk to me without a certain place of residence or just not very sober, so I stand somehow in a row, a bomb approaches me and says:

Girl, you are very beautiful. Especially from behind.

The second time, standing at the stop came to me again and said that I don’t often make compliments to girls, but it hurts me to look like a tram driver.

And my favourite was from the shouting grandfather at the stop:

You are so similar to a man.

With all respect
............
Who allowed this plan here?

Until there is no evidence that humans originated from animals, we may have originated from cucumbers. All characteristics of animals are not innate, but, on the contrary, acquired. In ancient times, people looked at how animals lived and adopted their culture of behavior.

What fucking did we look at? Round of the tail? Rudimentary fingers on the feet? What a fucking?
Or does the fact that we reproduce like rice, not like cucumbers, not make us closer to rice than to cucumbers?
............

Who will deal with these vegans? Per it was he who was conceived through a cucumbers?

The theme of children in "adult" films.

I remembered the case when I went to watch "The City of Sins". Then the age census was not strictly followed and some mommy drew a boy of eight years old to the movie. For the first twenty minutes, he was irritated by his wild rust over what was happening on the screen. Then something cried out. But here is the end of the film, include the light - and I long hit the memory of the image of a child with a completely lost expression of the face.

Now, when I come to movies 6+ and I start to boil from the surrounding children - I remember that guy and I immediately feel relieved =)

"In Russian airports passengers will be recognized by faces".

The worst will start when five flights arrive from China.

In the workplace smoker I often cross with two ladies from different departments. One is loud, the other is loud smoke. They do it synchronously. If you shut your eyes and imagine the Darth Vader, then smoking becomes very funny.

I went to visit my brother in another city. A guy approached the station with the words "Are you your brother’s sister?". I asked to meet a servant.

Department of Development:
Timled: the user does not get part of the tasks in the report "Director’s assignments". I have to find out.
The report "Director’s orders" does not really get orders not from the Director. The task is closed.