bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №131059
 23.07.2016
In holy places the spiritual power of the people is concentrated. In our temples, people prayed to God, they transmitted their energy to Heaven.
The world of Mikhailovich Gundyaev occupying the place of patriarch

Through prayer, or rather, the state in which prayer is performed, the prayer becomes closer to the energy grid. The signal becomes clearer and more stable (4 stripes). And the prayer itself adjusts to the desired frequency. The prayer itself does not radiate.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №131058
 23.07.2016
I also think of cremation, but instead of a urn, I want to be sleeping in the sand clock so that I can still participate in everything. For example, my grandchildren will play some type of board game, and say, “This is my grandfather on the shelf, take it. It is somewhere 6 minutes. turn around. Additional round, category, have gone.”

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №131057
 23.07.2016
I periodically delighted him with ice sheets - he turned out to prefer the water to cool.
— — —
The cooler the water, the more oxygen is dissolved in it. Rejoice more often :)

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №131056
 23.07.2016
The story happened to my girlfriend eight years ago. At the time she was 30, and her mother over 70 – she gave birth late, with a daughter – my friend – they lived together. Her mother had heart problems, she died and Tanya (girlfriend) remained alone. The death of her mother she experienced very hard and for a long time could not accept the loss, dreamed that all this was false and her mother was alive. She even told me that when she saw the falling star, in her head was automatically “let my mom come back.” Six months after the death of her mother, a woman came to Tana, judging by the whole alcoholic and stated that it was necessary to talk. In general, it turned out that this woman - the real mother of Tany, gave birth to her at the age of 14, and to avoid the shame of Tany's grandmother wrote the girl on herself. When Tanie was 3 months old, her mother fled the house, and Tanya stayed with her grandmother. And now, when her mother learned about her grandmother’s death, she returned 30 years later to share her inheritance.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №131055
 23.07.2016
I spent my whole childhood on the train. During the summer holidays I was invariably sent to my relatives in Ukraine.

I was about six. We drove south. There was no money on the coupe, and I was always joyfully carried on a placard car.

That time I was very lucky - I had a like-minded boy, a boy of my same age, who was driving with his grandmother on the mother's line in our same shop. We played, painted and composed all the way.

And now it was time for them and my grandmother to go out, and my new acquaintance and already best friend, regretting our separation, gave me a ticket with the words that we will definitely meet.

Previously, tickets were paper, and they were handed over to the conductor for reporting, and then before leaving at your station you could ask the conductor to give them. Then he took a funny book with transparent plastic pockets, like a 1st class box, and sought your ticket. Tickets themselves were for us desirable trophies, with which you can play in the train or paint. And this treasure the boy gives me! This is such an act. I pressed the rest of the way to the heart of the trophy.

Years have passed a lot. That ticket was stored with me in a box of memories, and I occasionally stumbled upon it, glimpsing and warmly recalling that trip.

When the social networks appeared, I had a terrible thought. I remember the name, and there is a boy’s name on the ticket! I can find him! ! to

A solemn moment, one hand is placed over the keyboard, the other balls through the box of memories in search of the ticket and with excitement unfolds it. Serena gave me my grandma’s ticket.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №131054
 23.07.2016
I decided to buy a ring to my wife, but so that without a fireplace, I just don't know the size. Waited until she fell asleep stronger, got her magical box with screws and began to measure her thumbs on the finger, no other way invented. I picked up the right size, and the next day I went to buy a ring.

I went to the jewelry store, and there the hall was divided into two sections. A girl runs to me: “What are you doing?” The laughter barely holds back. I said, “I want to buy a ring.” The question is, “What size do I need?” » Here I proudly get the hood and say, “This is the size.” The girl laughed hysterically, bending and crying from laughter, she said, “Sorry,” and ran away.

I was prepared for that reaction. I went looking for another girl in the neighboring section. I go there, there a man with a girl talking, standing on my back. I say to the girl, say, I need a ring of this size, and I show her a gauge. The man turns around and in his hands. by Bolt! ! to ! to

Everyone got the ring they needed.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №131053
 23.07.2016
After a month of working in a large female team, I found this thing with sadness:



“You have the right to keep silence. “Everything you say can be used against you” has finally ceased to be associated with American cinema.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №131052
 23.07.2016
In 2014, comrades are deprived of the rights for 2 years for driving intoxicated, the court all the affairs, passes two years comrades comes to the Department of GIBDD by a conscious citizen who has recovered, to ask if he can now ride on his loved one.

The inspector of the DPS shrugged the rights and said that the term of deprivation will begin to count from the moment of the transfer of the rights to the DPS.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №131051
 23.07.2016
I paid in E/Net for an order on Ali Baba. We received the exact amount, without commissions.
I looked at:
What a financial altruism!
All three girls aged 20-22 in yellow t-shirts did not react, silently looking at me. On their faces it read: “We must bow down "Altruism"!”
I am them:
Yes, here’s another test "What generation are you?"...

(Or in the ladies of this age all "-isms" appear to be something wasted, what...)

...Nearer and closer is the long-held assumption that we will encounter a time when a bombe with Soviet secondary education will be more literate than a graduate of a modern university.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №131050
 22.07.2016
"Posinovik can not be shot down from the air defense. The subordinate cannot be overthrown as a result of a coup. He does not make loud and controversial statements on television. Podosinovik does not prohibit anything and does not write agitative speeches."

You just have a bad imagination.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №131049
 22.07.2016
<xxx> When the air conditioner is set, see that they vacuum the highway. Thus e. As they finish the installation, they must connect such a rubbing thing (a vacuum pump) to the external unit and suck for a while.
<xxx> The better the installers the longer the saucers. Bad ones don’t suck at all.
<yyy> I imagine coming to them and saying "I told you have to suck.. I know nothing anymore."

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №131048
 22.07.2016
Why the cheese?? to
According to the theory of large numbers, in the secret zone there will be a certain number of those who are there for duty of service and have the same brain damage as the rest of the "hunting".
So the profits of curators are 100% guaranteed. And the plan of your crush they really do not need us.

= is
And apparently, according to this same theory, the involuntary helper of the enemy will conduct a panoramic shooting of the premises? And curators will generate Pokémon until there is a list of passwords or at least an evacuation plan on the picture?

Listen, maybe just forcing the staff of special facilities to wear foil hats, just like you? And get rid of ordinary people with their idiotic laws?

No one has repealed the Russian law. Photographs on sec. Objects are prohibited. into private ownership as well. What’s wrong with you that you’re still talking about it?

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №131047
 22.07.2016
In short, I came back from the turbine, weighed - my mom is dear, plus three kilos in two weeks!

Wow: Well, it can’t be, there are so many activities: big boats, swimming, forest with berries around!

HHH: And it was without food that I took the pudding, and guess what would happen if I still went to the dining room. Cake with butter, soup with meat, sausage for sweets and all that.

What did you eat then at all? 0 - O

HHH: Yes, in the store nearest to the big ride, in the small there entirely. A couple of sausages, black bread, cheese a couple of pieces, vinicle vinicle sweets to snack. Well, and chopsticks at night roasted - the only normal meal of the day.

Wow: Well yes, compared to this list of ham on milk in the morning in the dining room you would be straight into a ball of swelling >_<

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №131046
 22.07.2016
He decided to take off his unmatched socks as a worker. Now there are five perfect couples.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №131045
 22.07.2016
The real story.

One camaraderie from a pitch hat decided to make a ballaclava. To mark where to make the incisions for the eyes, he stretched his hat, found an eye, and woven there with a tail.

42 year old man.

[ + 11 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №131044
 22.07.2016
Hi to.
I am Belarusian, and I... I write a couple of phrases in Russian every six months. I speak less. I was outraged by the Russification, the older brotherhood, the attitude toward Belarusian as colloquial, padonkafsk and even with them, and ultimately the Russian language itself, although it is he who is not in business.
but.
My fellow Belarusians.
I was even more concerned about your arrivals to "Belarus".
There is a proverb - "although the pot is named in order to put the stove".
If you don’t care how you’re called in a neighboring state, it’s just cockroaches in your head. Belarus is just a name. Here, the “Western Territory” and “Kresy Wschodnie” will not be names, but claims. This can also be done in the bubble.
The car. Please stop, and just forget about Belarus. You already have Belarus. and all. Enough is.
All the best.

The PS. Dear Russians. Here in Belarus, Belarusian language is a certain marker. Belarusian-speaking people actually face discrimination and therefore usually support each other without unnecessary "preliminary affection" and so on. but. In the end. Any complex sociopath can get his share of empathy simply by speaking in Belarusian in an unknown company, or, at the end of the day, by picking up a fight against Belarus, once started by the same sociopath.
Such things.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №131043
 22.07.2016
A. L
I didn’t know about the existence of Kazakhs.
In childhood
A. L
So I was very surprised that it was for the Chinese who talked Russian so well.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №131042
 22.07.2016
XXX: No, it is about something else. There was somehow a scientific discussion about what time of day to fuck a varan.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №131041
 22.07.2016
The story of Laura.
Internship in a rural hospital. A 4-year-old boy was brought, the bean was moved into the left nose. Press, try with a pincet - it only goes deeper. The boy ores.
A surgeon was sent to wake up, he was there in the CRP alone for everyone with great experience. An unawakened surgeon came and struck the probe in the right nose. The boy sneezes, the bean flies out, the surgeon goes to sleep.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №131040
 22.07.2016
IQ tests are written by idiots.
We were given a time test in physmat school to write. We missed the task in the party, if we didn’t solve it in 2 minutes. Then they made each other missing decisions. As a result, it turned out that we had an unrealistic number of points, in which the test is recognized as invalid. There is no way to solve such long tasks. And the ability to fucking a system is not perceived as the ability of intelligence. In Russia, this is the primary capacity of intelligence.

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