bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 17 - ] Comment quote №130959
 21.07.2016
>>> And who told you that in the appearance of the church you cannot dress?

Dear, if you make all the fierce and furious demands of the Orthodox Church on clothing, culture and behavior mandatory, then Saudi Arabia will seem to you an ideal of Muslim freedom.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №130958
 21.07.2016
Krazzzer: Well, let’s take Saturn’s satellite – Europe. There are suspicions that under the ice shell in the many kilometers thick water she has life.
far_far_north: Is this life?

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №130957
 20.07.2016
Another week of such weather in Moscow, and I will begin to call the borderies porebriques

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №130956
 20.07.2016
Paphos status on the social network: "I want my daughter to be able to put the points where I put the curtains."
and all =)

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №130955
 20.07.2016
A mosquito grid on the window and no one will fly in.

YYY: It did not help. My girlfriend flew.

[ + 17 - ] Comment quote №130954
 20.07.2016
If the heater is called "camino", then the air conditioner should be called "getout".

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №130953
 20.07.2016
In the evening, I was engaged in obscenity with a girl. At the culmination moment, I lay down on the pillow to rest, I lay down with a blessed smile, and there is a whirlwind from the water pipes spread across the entire apartment, similar to a trumpet in an elephant's hood.
It would be nothing if the girl had not immediately issued the phrase that made me wildly, laughing for a while, crawling on the bed: "Elephants trumpet... Maugli has become a man!"

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №130952
 20.07.2016
>>>... and in our case ends (for lack of evidence, lack of composition, etc.) before the court. There is no percentage of exemption contracts.

What an original mistake. The "Contract" Or is it not a mistake o_o?

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №130951
 20.07.2016
The wedding story!

My colleague is a very mercantile person. One day she told us about her wedding. As usual, everyone started congratulating her and naturally asking for details. Here my colleague says, “We want a magnificent wedding for 300 people.”

When asked how much money you intend to spend, she answered half a million.

The wedding took place (no one went from work to the wedding, they covered her table at work, with all the congratulations), our bride comes to work all in tears and in a terrible mood. In the evening, sitting at the table and drinking too much, she said, they took a loan for 500,000, with the calculation that 300 guests are invited and each will give a minimum of 5,000. By simple calculations, it should have been 1500000. And then the crash, 75 people came, the parents gave from both sides 50,000 and guests almost all 1,000. She expected to repay the loan and go on vacation to spend money, said, this is the idea of the wedding. And what happened...

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №130950
 20.07.2016
What "magic" words do you know?
Thank you, please put it here.

My tribe 2 years

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №130949
 20.07.2016
Previously, the volume of the discette 3.5" was surprising.
The normal volume was 1.44 MB.
For a driver almost any device is enough.
But the volume of 5" discs 360 Kb - yes, it was surprising.
Until you see the COMPETITION of best-selling games: Tetris, Arkanoid, Python, Pakman and Xonix on one disc.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №130948
 20.07.2016
thx: <link>
TASS: Army and OPC - In Russia began testing of "smart bullet" in controlled mode

The bullet will be removed from arms.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №130947
 20.07.2016
In Belarus it is an official language. In the official documents of the state in the Russian language the name of Belarus is fixed.

///////////////////////////////////////

Let’s make Chinese the third state and fuck the brains of the Chinese, and as I said, I will continue – when Belarus, when Belarus. By the mood.

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №130946
 20.07.2016
One of my acquaintances can’t find a companion of life, she’s cute, a good figure and to this day I thought she’s smart..The thing is that no matter how she tried, no matter what men she met, everyone runs away from her in the morning. From despair, she went to the extrasensus, removing the crown of unmarriage, wearing money to him, and he cleanses all her black circles. I met her a few days ago and she told me:

- Oh, soon all my life will be fine, because not in vain so much money took away, say, happiness is close.

I could not stand it and put out the whole mother-truth. From my acquaintance it smells very strongly, although not, it smells of her! It smells like a mile. At home, the mess is constant, the bathroom trousers are dirty, and everything smells! Instead of the crown of unmarriage, she needs to remove the crown.

She was offended and put me out of the door. Today he calls and says:

My extra-sense said that you are taking away my marriage energy. I will not communicate with you anymore, and my smell is my excellence, my smell will come male. and all.

The Samurai! The man, the fuck!

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №130945
 20.07.2016
I work in the field of website development and these are very short stories from my practice.

Stories are real and happened to me.



I have a problem with the site. We said you can help.

Hi, I am listening to you.

Our website is not working, customers call and complain in the morning.

Dict the address of the site. We will find out now.

by Prometheus. ru *name changed, although this approach to choosing a domain name always pleases me*

Have you visited your website?

No, but why not.

You have a notification of non-payment of the hosting hanging. Pay and the site will work.

thank you! ! to ! to ! to



I haven’t heard of this person anymore, but the site was already working by evening.



You are making websites.

Good morning yes.

-I have an offer to you, let's make a trading platform of the type of aviation, but only for organizations. We will divide profits by sex.

Thank you, but I have to refuse.

But why, it’s a profitable business. Investing only domain and hosting, and earning out how much.

Thanks, I have already done that. Yes, and investment is much more than domain and hosting.

I'll find a more entrepreneurial developer, goodbye

Smiling and goodbye, good luck.



Saturday evening, a call from a client. I recently launched a children’s online store.



-Draste, you made my site, nothing has been working for a week, return my money! ! to ! to ! to

A second, let’s figure it out. I go to the site, everything works. More specifically what he writes.

Wrong writing, what do you not see? ! to

That’s the point, I work. Tell me what is specifically written.

What what what. No connection to the network. There is no internet connection. The page will be loaded when it is restored.

I tried to go to other sites. I already guess what the problem is

Why do I need to go to other websites?

Are you sitting on social media?

Yes to VKontakte.

Come in there.

I can’t talk to you.

from the computer.

I’m not sitting on the computer, I’m not sitting on the computer.

......



Hello to Van. It was Katya who gave me your number, Sasha, our speaker. You are doing websites.

Hi, I can say so.

-Well, the boss gave me a site to do for us, but there is one thing but...

What else, but I don’t really like when they say so.

We needed a website last week, but I got stuck and forgot something. And I am on vacation soon, well, how soon - tomorrow, and I am not released without the site. and help.

I have one ready option, but it will in any case take time to launch.

Yes, we agree, we would be faster.

***I will miss a piece of history related to the discussion of the project. *** by

The price of X rub. Prepaid 30% transfer to the card and I start

Is it not free? I watched advertising on TV to create a website for free. We would have such a site.

Unfortunately, I’m a website designer and I don’t work with web designers.

very sorry. No need then. and put the phone

[ + 27 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №130944
 20.07.2016
Heavily irritated people who do not understand that fried fox is delicious.

[ + 28 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №130943
 20.07.2016
We went somehow with friends to rest, we stood at the station near a small shop, we smoked. Appropriate looking man, asking for a penny for bread. Since I have developed a stereotype that such people cannot give money in their hands because they will be spent on vodka, I propose to buy him bread. He agreed and then tearfully thanked, called the daughter, told about the difficult fate, everything as appropriate.

By the way, I bought it right away in the store they stood next to.



A week later we came back, standing next to this store again, smoking, waiting for the car. Near the black entrance to this store is knocking the same man with a bowl of bread. He is opened by the same saleswoman from whom I bought him the same bread, takes the bucket and gives the man half of its value.

[ + 21 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №130942
 20.07.2016
I am encouraged by contextual advertising on this and neighboring sites to ask a question to the wizard.
So, witch, what is it like to hijack people in the 21st century?

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №130941
 20.07.2016
Dear Moderators

And can I do so that the quote that I have put down is no longer shown to me?

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №130940
 20.07.2016
The Yeltsinist Fantasy

In Novodevichy cemetery established a police station near the tomb of Yeltsin, in order to avoid defamation of the burial site. Probably all about how wonderful people lived under Yeltsin.

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