bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №129119
 06.06.2016
From Facebook.
Inna Ipolitova:
A friend told me:
"From a colleague-woman, with whom we communicate exclusively on "you" and by name-father comes a letter to the work mail. The entire text:
"...and the flowers of the fields..."
Oh, I think... Burim... The people are already noting. Someone who has a poetic mood. Okay I will connect. I answer: "...and the bushes of the woods..." The answer is long nothing. I don’t think a man is going the next line. need to help. I send another one: "...and the waters of the seas..." And add: "...and the excitement of the words..."
In ten minutes the answer comes:
"Nicolas, please stop it now! I can't write a word of laughter for half an hour. I just got the wrong address! I wrote to my husband to pour flowers!"

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №129118
 06.06.2016
XXX: What is the mouse?
Sorry, but by the way.
XXX: Have you agreed?
Yyy: No... The seller dropped up to $2K even, begging to get it.
XXX: The dead man?
yyy: Zero, three thousand on the odometer. Electricity on the way.
XXX: You’ve been kidding, what’s wrong?
The man painted it himself. for his missing bride. He is white. with a pearl frog. It is so invisible that neither the eye nor the camera can catch it. But after looking at it for 30 seconds, you have a stable, subconscious feeling that something in the bike is pink. But here is what...
But the bike is white!
YYY: So the suspicion steadily falls on the intruder...

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №129117
 06.06.2016
Defend men in general, resolve all their defects, no one will think of advocating. But touch the fair sex satirically – all women will rise against you unanimously – they make up one people, one sect. c) The A.S. Pushkin

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №129116
 06.06.2016
"20-year-old Moscovite removed the spoil for a million rubles"

XXX: I have a million. Where would you advise to invest?

Yyy: Remove the porch

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №129115
 06.06.2016
I sit in a row on the shop, near the guard post. Quiet in the corridor. The sound of a fast-clicking mouse is heard from their booth. After a few minutes of clicking, I hear the sound of TA-DAA! And all the sounds stopped.
and silence.
I understand.
The falling cards are watched...

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №129114
 06.06.2016
What does a psychologist do? Well, what, for example, could be the result of work. Can you example? (I need it, but I don’t know)
You had 2500 rubles. You talked to a psychologist for an hour, and you got 400 rubles. The result is very noticeable!

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №129113
 06.06.2016
This is choleral globalization.
Chilean grapes are one-third cheaper than seasonal Russian cherries.
We have won greed, we eat grapes.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №129112
 06.06.2016
I rested in a summer camp, the only time in my life. History from there.



Called the peak lady, everything as it should be: a mirror, card toothpaste, hz what is there. Silence someone reads the spell, and I pretend to sleep. Well maybe I didn’t pretend, but I lie on the bed and formally don’t take part. And here, when the silence is thickened, I sweep my hand under the bed, raise the tap, and dive to the floor, then raise the second and do the same. The sound reminds me of someone’s heavy steps. What started here... One guy almost jumped into the window, the other whispered, “Mommy I’m scared”, someone got stuck under the pillow... And I was stinged by the fox, I thought I would get rid of laughter, with the last strength I restrained, but I continued to “drop.” In short, my nerves didn’t stand and my rust seemed to have delivered me, but no, I was rugged pressed into the pillow, and like people didn’t even identify the source of that sound. I don't remember exactly how it all ended, but I remember vaguely that to one impressive guy I proved for 2 minutes that it wasn't the peak lady who came for him, but that I got stuck.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №129111
 06.06.2016
Sonya
She gave the boss aerosol from mosquitoes and mosquitoes, but did not expect him to spray in the office. was breathing. First he turned his head and led. And now some attacks of sudden behavior and even more inadequacy than usual, and an unpleasant taste of chemistry in the mouth.

Alex is
and AAAA! I am a mosquito!

Sonya
I laughed at the whole office.
Eat your lips not to chew.

Alex is
Mosquitoes have no lips, they have hobbits.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №129110
 06.06.2016
Valikon: "You are Ahuil!? The Rules"
Ahuil is straight like the name of an angel.
DraftHoof: Archangel Achilles

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №129109
 06.06.2016
About one specialist:
He made our shop website. The management decided to save on the articles, for which the employee himself rewrite his articles and sent him to add to the site. Answer: No, the article is too big, no headings, tags and fat keys are not highlighted. Comes himself, shows the seller: "Let's open any of my - I did not put the tags and keys here, I did not write the title and did not highlight the fat... "

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №129108
 06.06.2016
YU: I went to Maliniki (Kaluga), and here a bunch of factories are working at 16 a.m. It looks scary when thousands of people run away. They literally escape.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №129107
 06.06.2016
The day after the drunk. Hhh(m) and Wau(g) are lying on the couch. Xhz begins to slowly cling to Woo. It does not show resistance.
You’re so cool... So... So wonderful... You’re really lying like a silk, but you’re still so cool...

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №129106
 06.06.2016
Yes indeed.
and ==
Well, I suggest to "age of responsibility" to prohibit them (and women too) from fucking. And it is a pleasure to have all the towns, and to be responsible for it, all the little ones.
and ==
Why teach, tell and educate? We just have to ban everything.
And then they write, they write... Congress, the Germans somehow... The head blows. Take everything and share..."

They invented more. Contraception and sexual education. by Nafi Nafi. Only celibacy, only hardcore. Will we be able to take a break on the first wedding night? Or will we give the Lord the right of the first night? and :)

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №129105
 06.06.2016
We agreed that the girl from my daughter’s garden (3 years old) will come to visit us (they recently moved and now live next to us).
Tomorrow your girlfriend will come.
She is not my girlfriend!
I: So bring your girlfriend?
Please bring me a pizza.

It does not seem to be a friendship.)

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №129104
 06.06.2016
I wore men’s pants with a shirt. Men have complexes about the size of a member.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №129103
 06.06.2016
You may disagree with me, but it seems to me that the question is: Should I respect the choice of another person? ", smoothly moves to the question, "is it necessary to respect the stranger as a whole? andquot;

[ + 17 - ] Comment quote №129102
 06.06.2016
20523, so why not indicate this wage fork in the vacancy? Those who are not pleased with it will shed the vacancy and will not waste your energy and time on your company.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №129101
 06.06.2016
One day in the universe, the girls went through the stairs and I started showing some scene from the movie. She turned like Julia and flew down a high staircase with a chic. Whoever tried to catch me... Man five hands stretched out. At the end, there was a man waiting for me, too, with an extended arm. He was the last. And his hand was not enough, too, but at the very last moment my instinct of self-preservation opened up and I grabbed his hand with my teeth. As a result, he went to the same room where I was lying after the battery hit. They also found out that we both do not like Mandarin and come to each other as a triple-born brother and sister.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №129100
 06.06.2016
Diamond: If my voice really sounds like the voice messages in the Votsap, then I apologize to everyone I’ve ever spoken to.

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