bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №129319
 11.06.2016
1: This can be said about everything in a row. You can not discuss books, movies, anime, work, relationships, news. Why did you decide to focus on the game?

Well, to show how serious he is, an adult who lives a full life. " and games? by PF! I have things to do and more important".

Third: And he went to shrink on the pony.

[ + 27 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №129318
 11.06.2016
About Countries
It all depends on the habits of the family.
One of my friends put the counters and began to pay more than she had previously paid according to the norms.
They and their son are used to open the water with a strong pressure and stand in front of the mirror. She can wash the dishes and then go on the phone to talk without turning off the water.
Therefore, look at your habits - if you know how to close the crane while brushing your teeth, then the counter will be beneficial for you.

[ + 9 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №129317
 11.06.2016
A typical Western consumer is quite different.

He has been filled since childhood, and he does not need anything in the material sense. He is not interested in the gold ring in his nose, and the most expensive limousine is not interested either. Because it is hemorrhoids. And black caviar with spoonfuls he does not want to eat, because it is harmful. He’s a very practical guy, this Western consumer. To convince him to consume what is unclear why it is necessary, you have to pour ebony money into advertising. Moreover, it is necessary to convince him not that it is cool, but that it is convenient, useful and saving time.

You ask, why is he a consumer? Why does he consume so much when the material is so little? And it consumes the whole world around it, primarily in the form of impressions. He has such consumer spiritual requests: everywhere to ride, everywhere to blow his curious nose, to participate in everything unusual.
Well, also, of course, self-realization: sex, family, children, interesting work, artistic self-activity, tourism, all that. This is the average Western consumer.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №129316
 11.06.2016
X: Will we have a meeting?
When did you plan?
When are you more comfortable?
There are two Jews :D

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №129315
 11.06.2016
The 2016 World Cup begins with the match France-Romania.
Negroes are playing with Gypsies.
This is the European Championship :)

[ + 39 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №129314
 11.06.2016
While I was in the army, my girlfriend gave up on the rights, lost weight, found a bad job, enrolled in the second higher.
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
Everything you need to know about the army.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №129313
 11.06.2016
In Skolkovo developed the technology of bleaching solidol, now it is on the shelves called "Tvorog Fermersky".

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №129312
 11.06.2016
Books that burn are better than books that burn.

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №129311
 11.06.2016
Listened to smoking.
They sat and rested in the smoking room, the man came in already talking on the phone and judging all the way the call was from some bank about the loan... (M) - a man, (SB) - a bank employee
Going in: I don’t need anything.
So, these are favorable conditions.
M: I have a negative opinion on this issue.
Q: Was it a sad experience?
(M): Young man, how do you feel about sex with a man?
It is negative!
What, was it a sad experience?

I couldn’t talk because of the laughter.)

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №129310
 11.06.2016
22:00 - What is more important to you, me or football?
23:50 – Of course you!

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №129309
 11.06.2016
by 9.06.16
It is important for me that I consider the girl special.

by Andrews9.06.16
They are all fucking in their own way.

by 9.06.16
This is not what I meant.)

by Andrews9.06.16
Special = fucking in the right direction

by 9.06.16
Yes Yes
Well said

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №129308
 11.06.2016
X - Ah, the most difficult thing in an organization is to be a sysadmin and a director - no one will be able to promote you.
A - Our boss is not a problem - he just moves upstairs, profit
X is an idea.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №129307
 11.06.2016
In the late 1940s, at the Moscow Medical Institute, Professor M. O. Gurevich gave a lecture on progressive paralysis:
This is an extremely serious disease that greatly weakens the mental abilities of the patient. Now we will show you a patient of a psychiatric clinic suffering from this disease.
The woman could not name her name, nor number, nor time of year, but when asked who brought her to the hospital, she replied with unexpectedly conscious anger: "Jews!"
Mikhail Osipovich turned to the audience and said:
You see how little wisdom is needed to become an anti-Semite.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №129306
 11.06.2016
Comments on Tractor with Autonomous Control:

Now the tractor can take off without the help of the pig.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №129305
 11.06.2016
This is how the whole world from the United States to China and from New Earth to Antarctica celebrates the day of St. Petersburg (!The cat cats? This is the CSU!!! to

This time the St. Petersburgers. St. Petersburg cats are descendants of specially selected cats, which were brought in to catch all the rats breeding in the blockade.
And we have everything that is connected with the WOW called universal and nothing else.

[ + 36 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №129304
 11.06.2016
The cinema, the light is turned off, full anshlag on some fashionable sequel, the premiere.spectators carefully settled with popcorn.the initial titles,so, and here the door to the hall opens and the gray controller runs in and screams in the crowd with a whispering voice: "To whose black car the evacuator takes!!"..I never saw that 50 people tried to fight in one flight? and I saw)) very funny))

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №129303
 11.06.2016
xxx: I can’t understand how the ancient Chinese found points with increased conductivity on the body. I checked - in acupuncture points the resistance is less.

YYY: By the way, most instruments for acupuncture are now based on this method - in search mode, the area of low resistance is scanned, then the operator delivers high-frequency electrical impulses to this point. that is, being a prophane, such points can be found and treated on the other hand - something will be cured. But knowing what exactly and where, at those times, is really hard to imagine how they learned it.

Zzzz: There were so many Chinese. Method of Injection.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №129302
 11.06.2016
My wife and I go to the theater after work. In the afternoon, she found out that there was a discount on toilet paper in the store. During the lunch break, of course, I went out.

I bought 24 rubles.
I think I’ll take them to the theater ?
I: How to hint on the actors that the show is like that...

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №129301
 11.06.2016
After the upgrade of the Opera, the turbo stopped working!
111: What is it about the wounded crows?
This is no longer an opera, but a ballet.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №129300
 11.06.2016
Aleksashka1987: I buy a UPS, the guys showed it to me: they turned it on the socket, turned it on the UPS, disconnected the UPS from the socket: "Wow, kicked, so it works!" and started packing. I stop them: "I really want to go on the subway". They have eyes of 7 copies, type "And what? Even if it’s on the ski, what’s up to us". Here, UPS once again picked up and it came to them that it is better to turn off the UPS before packing :).

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