bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №128479
 23.05.2016
I always feel like I am the perfect customer. Then I start sending out...

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №128478
 23.05.2016
Mongolia, Seychelles on the border with China.
They were caught up with transport aircraft pilots. Alcohol, about +50 ° C on board, condives in Ilush are not provided (( Tired, fell for some boxes.
I open my eyes, fly like a worm after the rain, into the cabin and see in the windows a completely different landscape of O_O. by Fuck! Where are the Gobi Palms in the desert? A white? No, just our carriers were already flying to the base in Dushanbe, received a new flight assignment, filled Ilushi’s belly and pulled humanitarian aid. by Yopamama! How long should I be charged for crossing the border illegally?
Sturman said, “Don’t sit down, we will go back and back to you, so they didn’t wake up. You slept so sweet.)
Oh, I, the mill, sat down to the eggs and already pretended who would wear my transmission. They have everything so simple.
© 46 ODSHB SN, commander of the company

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №128477
 23.05.2016
That is, the cheaper a product is sold, the more revenue it brings? That is genius!

and what the chain to lower the price -> sell more -> profit! It was forbidden forever, right?
) ) )

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №128476
 23.05.2016
It was long ago. The driver is a big cock. At the crossroads, the grandmother runs on the red right under his wheels. The driver without the passenger (with the passenger action would be different). He felt sorry for his grandmother. The driver is a professional. I walked around my grandmother, walked around all the cars at this crossroads. He crashed into a lamp. From the pillar falls a light and right on this grandmother.

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №128475
 23.05.2016
At the end of the 19th century, an advertisement was posted in a famous English newspaper:

"A 20-year-old girl from a good family, with a fortune of £2 million, wants to meet a normal young man for marriage."

Within a short period of time, more than 30,000 letters from eager brides from all over the world were sent to the email address indicated in the announcement. But, unfortunately, nobody got neither the hand nor the heart of the mysterious bride.

After all, the tempting chosen woman turned out to be... two entrepreneurial English philatelists, who in one move multiplied their collection of postal stamps. This case is considered to be the largest mass replenishment of the brand collection in the history of the Philadelphia.

[ + 21 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №128474
 23.05.2016
Hundreds of times I forgot to remove the protective film from the screens... and only I managed not to remove the BLUE protective film from the shower and wondered how slowly the water goes away...

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №128473
 23.05.2016
I have not been here for two years.
This is all a new audience or the old head and ass moved into the unknown... do you?

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №128472
 23.05.2016
xxx: Mother, female plant of hemp
Cannabis: the male plant of hemp
xxx: Different from the male plant by the shape of the blooms, lower growth, thicker leaves and later periods of maturation
HGH: Just like people
xxx: female flower - complex colossus, male - loose butterfly
Oh, how about the man!

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №128471
 23.05.2016
From the discussion of the news about the launch of Duke Nukem 3D on Xbox One.

A: They are given the nect genes of graphene, and they are constantly returning to their origins.
B: Because I want to play gameplay, not graphic.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №128470
 23.05.2016
My friend has a super serious job. They gave them a huge contract, all in the highest order, all according to the norms: paper, stamps, threads with which they were sewn... And the term of validity is from February 29, 2016 to February 29, 2017.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №128469
 23.05.2016
by Miha:
If you start looking outside of the house, maybe after a while, you will find out that I really don’t have a frog on my car.
Then you will be ashamed.

and Denis:
I was at the casting house 2 and you were a shark!
Even though I was in a psychiatric state, I was...

by Miha:
I will hide it.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №128468
 23.05.2016
On board the aircraft of Lufthansa Munich - Vancouver one of the passengers got

A cigarette, and when he was noticed, he headed into the tail part of the plane and

He tried to open the door at an altitude of 11.5 km to go out to smoke.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №128467
 23.05.2016
Obama accuses Russia of reluctance to abandon nuclear weapons

HH: There are no bad ones.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №128466
 23.05.2016
XX: Well, it’s obvious that people who confess their belief in conspiracy theories have a low IQ. After all, it is very stupid to devote reptilians to what you know about their plans.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №128465
 23.05.2016
In Krasnoyarsk, a drunk driver drove 6 rounds on the ring and turned over (video)
The comments:
Uncle Grish: The driver from God!
Orion: If his god is Satan, then yes!
Evenk: We have one pedestrian from God who slid around the barrel all night, thinking that his house was behind the turn, and when it was dawned he realized that he was lost and went to sleep.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №128464
 23.05.2016
What is good for the Russians is enough for the Germans for a month.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №128463
 23.05.2016
Both brothers, like all modern children, spend all their free time playing computer games. Their mother decided to restrict their access to the laptop and began to hide it from them. But every time I came home, I saw them playing. Only by chance a neighbor's cat came in to clarify how the children found a laptop. They poured valerian on the laptop, and as soon as my mother left the house and hid it, they brought a cat from the street, who instantly discovered it!

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №128462
 23.05.2016
Do you have icons?
and no.
And the candles?
Nor is there.
And the lamps?
This is the district administration! We have nothing holy!

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №128461
 23.05.2016
The Hospitals
Lie in surgery "almost Moscow" CRB, the entourage is the same as described: in the chamber smell and 24-hour nonsense (the uncle's leg was cut off, and the rest of the roof from anesthesia was gone), in the corridor the grandfather cracks, in the smoking room the corpse rests quietly, doctors / sisters are rough... But the essence is not in this.
One of the neighbors in the chamber is a retired officer (a purely scholar, as he himself imagined), a young man. I did not pay any attention to the "discomfort". Praised food, played with the staff, swallowed bikes from the life of the Star Desant (as he called his VKS). To questions like "How can you be so quietly lying here", I answered "could have been worse".
I have two questions: 1. What "there" with these "astronauts" do?
2nd All dissatisfied / unhappy - can you go there to serve, and not on the entertainment resource? (I am not in good health)

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №128460
 23.05.2016
Life is full of opportunities for lifehack: mismatches in the laws and unforeseen opportunities allow you to bypass stupid prohibitions and restrictions.
I wanted to make a site with a description of interesting ways, and then remembered the joke about the engineer and the guillotine:

The guillotine executes the thief and the murderer. Drill for the rope - the knife does not fall.
God gives us a sign to have mercy on this man. and free!
Guilty pedophile rapist executed. Drill for the rope - the knife does not fall.
God gives us a sign to have mercy on this man. and free!
The guillotine of an engineer. Drill for the rope - the knife does not fall.
The Lord...
Stand on! I think I realized it was broken!

I’m not going to fix...

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