I am in the army.
Mom (M) tells about the 1st of September in the younger brother (B) first-class:
B: You
She said that
She recorded me in
The best school.
Well...
M: Maybe it is
Not the best, but
In one of the best. A is
Has someone told you something?
B: Not alone
I saw there.
Table is written
"School of the Year"

Sisadmin 1: called from the warehouse, they say that they have xerox showing a sandstone and a pyramid.
Siddhartha: This is elementary! He wants to Egypt.

Chat after a programming day

xxx: Fuck, guys, how to repair a dog, it seems to have broken, it has been walking 2 hours and sneezing every couple of minutes and it seems that I broke it, I smooked it before that.
Is the dog cuddled?
Zzzz: Did you smooth her in the nose?
XXX: No, we don’t have a cocktail. No, not in the nose, in the office, on the head and back.
zzz: Okay, let’s skip the fact that you have a dog walking around the office... And you’re sure you don’t have a coke?
YYY: no more
Zzz: Or maybe it’s broken from your bark?
xxx: Oh, the option, maybe it's really a cowboy, well, or the cox was and the dogs are not any...

from the dating site.

At the age of 29 took the responsible decision to get a professional education of a philosopher :) learned all the tickets and did not go to the exam, because everything is ruined.

The child is watching TV.
Mom: Daughter, this is not quite suitable for your age and film understanding.
What should I turn on then?
The head...

When my third was less than a year old, I went to the dentist twice a week, recorded for two hours in a row to get it done faster.
So, within five minutes from the beginning of the "session" I fell asleep with a sweet sleep :D with the mouth open, in which the teeth are treated :P
Aha
For the first time the dogs also decided that it was the magical power of their analgesic, they woke up. :D
I didn’t sleep, I woke up at the end of the session.

I also slept with the dentist, but for another reason: the doctor is great, not hurt, everything is careful and even gentle, and very polite. The doctor has moved. I do not like the new one. Everything is fast, efficient, but quality. The soul is lacking.

ZZZ: Students still sleep well, not only mothers. Wink: I slept standing in the subway while I was studying. When I fell asleep, my bag fell out of my hands. They slept well on duty. I slept for 5 hours on wheelchairs that moved away from the slightest movement. I managed not to move.
And one day I fell asleep when an older man, who was 1.5 years old, slipped on me. I get upset because I slept. I know I slept a long time. Suddenly I see a man in the window. 2 the floor. The house was painted. And the baby watched for 40 minutes for the uncle. :D

The artist of the project for the fourth time applied the spells "YAHUDOŽNIKYATAKVIZU" and "MANIANEVOLVETFYSIČKAJEVOŽNOSTY". Where to vote for declaring these spells unforgivable?

He was all his life convinced that the name Robin Hood came from good (good).
Then it turned out that he was a hat (Hood).
and :(

It turns out that there is a very interesting school system in Europe. You go there at 4 years. You are given tasks. You can do them, you can not do them. You are always praised. If you don’t do anything, by the age of 12 you may find out that you’re a fool.

I saw it in the candy. These guys are guys...

The first witch is when you rescued a woman from a crowd of rapists, and she is so "In reward we go". This is when the outer crowd is angry, and the witch is "Let’s fuck". This is when you give a bouquet of chamomile to a peasant woman, and she "Let’s fuck". This is when Triss was just dying, but the reward is "Let’s go". And it is even more pleasant to refuse them all and see their surprised births.

Dialogue with a friend who is always sitting at work:
What are your plans for the evening?
D: Plans to sit down until the last lawyer is out.
I: Oh, what if you were in the bathroom with a letter of irin chewing!
I: the width
I am fucking...

And again stones and again hicks.
1st
Are there comics without pictures? I would read. I don’t like when my flight of imagination is interrupted by other people’s images.
2nd
They are called books.

Russia is a country where you can get married and fuck from the age of 16, and watch porn only from 18.

There are restaurants in which a visitor pays for food as much as he considers necessary or may not pay at all. This is the Vienna restaurant Der Wiener Deewan, the drinks in it have fixed prices, but the customers themselves decide how much they will pay for the lunch. Similar terms of payment can be found at the Lentil as Anything restaurant chain in Melbourne, Australia, where visitors pay for what they can afford or what they consider a fair price based on the quality of the food. One World Coffee in Salt Lake City (USA) and SAME Cafe in Denver (USA) not only allow customers to pay as much as they want for lunch, but also to determine the size of the servings themselves. Only one question. After how long would they break up? Now you know where to rest well saving on food.

by Habr

Are there comics without pictures? I would read. I don’t like when my flight of imagination is interrupted by other people’s images.

There are, they are called books.

xxx:on the fountain news: "Head of the Central Election Commission of Russia Vladimir Churov about the attempt to hack the site of the CEC in order to replace data"
xxx: When you see the name "Churov", the brain automatically finished the phrase with the words: "...in real"

From Habr:

Woit
Tags for the post: “Fest, Joy, Fun, Microsoft”. As they say, find an extra word.

When my grandfather was 3 and 4, our morning always started like this. From the children’s room at seven in the morning was a heartbreaking message: “I am not a painter!”! to

It seemed like everything was fun, interesting, but here my freedom came.

Release of news:

“Refugees from Syria continue to sink...sorry, settle European countries.