bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №120072
 30.10.2015
Wikipedia reports: The vast majority of individuals in the ants family are workers who are females with underdeveloped reproductive system.

Everything is like people: there is no breastfeeding - earn yourself.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №120071
 30.10.2015
When someone teaches us,
I am not all.
Life experience of an idiot
I have myself.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №120070
 30.10.2015
With Lepra:

Grit: As they eat us, they are vegans!
Redwan: Grit, it’s all simple, first you have to make a vegetable.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №120069
 30.10.2015
If you love something too much, especially harmful, you have to take it immediately and in excess. Checked and released. My father taught me to smoke when I was younger, forcing me to smoke half a cigarette at a time. I almost died, and I hated cigarettes. When my wife couldn’t force herself to diet, I fed her two cakes in the evening. She could not look at sweets for a week.
I love money. Give me them in excess!!! )))))
Zzz: WOW, you will go to the annual audit at our bank’s box office on December 31. In that year, at eight o'clock on the New Year's Eve, we spent four hours counting all the cash and repackaging it under the unsuspecting cameras of the SBhnikov. Not fighting or escaping. I counted that money so much that it was disgusting to look into the wallet. And the noise of the recounting machine can still not be heard.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №120068
 30.10.2015
Time in someone else’s life flies unnoticed. At the Uzbek barcamp, I met a programmer with whom we translated Cucumber into Uzbek and discussed the future of dynamic languages. Then he runs — and he poses photos from his wedding in America. You think "nu nihiga how fast!", and it turns out 7 years have passed.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №120067
 30.10.2015
I go on a bus, in front of a mommy sitting with the son of the year 3-4. small in glasses, the face is clever. My mom bought me that robot. No, my son, why is he there for you? - Then I sell my glasses and buy myself, and you buy me new glasses, I still need glasses. The entrepreneur will grow.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №120066
 30.10.2015
I did a slow repair at home. At work, everyone knew about it. Before some other check, the secretary of the boss approaches me, then the dialogue:
Bring the red paint tomorrow!! to
I: Where can I get her?
You have to do the repair, you have to!! to
I: I can’t imagine something that I would paint something in red at home.
In the end, I stumbled, fell and fell.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №120065
 30.10.2015
Forum of Plastic Surgeons
x: Hi, is it possible to lipophyll with a donor, for example, to take material from a brother if there is no own fat?
Y: With such a readiness for research, you represent a substantial academic interest, especially considering that you have a twin brother, which is an interesting biological phenomenon in itself.
Z: I’m more concerned about whether your brother knows about your intentions.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №120064
 30.10.2015
X: Who has the norm of the crawl in the office?
Did you have fun with torrents?
YYY: or not. and more relevant. Are the torrents fun?

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №120063
 30.10.2015
103-year-old Titanic cookie sold for $22.5 thousand
Q: I wonder, and who proved it was from Titanic?%)))
I think she presented herself.)

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №120062
 30.10.2015
X: How is it?
According to the classic:
In the morning there are two bodies:
The red eye sysadmin,
Wind, scattered to the pope,
The virus is alive and harmless.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №120061
 30.10.2015
He sits very tired after his daddy's work in the kitchen. I have eaten, I am tired, but I have no strength to get up and go to bed. And a four-year-old daughter tries to play him, offering one game, then another. Again, the daughter: “Let me be a rabbit, and you are a hunter – catch me!” To what daddy, not turning and doomed: "give me better into you from a gun bullet".

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №120060
 30.10.2015
One day my girlfriend burned a child. They sat down and ate lunch. And Lenka decided not to take her son on the pot: "And I am called to school..."- "Why? :shock: " - "This is what I want to ask you - why?" - "Oh...it’s probably because of the composition..." - "But here’s a detailed... :twisted: "
As a result, the child had to reveal that he wrote a very strange piece in English. About how the Earth was attacked by aliens and bombed its school. None of the teachers escaped.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №120059
 30.10.2015
I talked to a friend at lunchtime.
I have eaten friccadeleque, surprisingly edible.
I fucking burst.
- Leia, a decent girl shouldn't argue with Matt!
When a whole plate of hot borst falls on the floor with meat, cream, and other things, this is called the "Fuck the borst". So is nepheg.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №120058
 30.10.2015
As we, the humanitarian salmon, vaguely remember from school physics, weight depends not only on the mass, but also on the area of the pressing contact.

ARRRBRGRGRRH! This phrase should be banned as a weapon of mass destruction of technicians.
Weight is a force that depends on mass (P = mg in general). And the pressure depends on the area, which is defined as force / area.

In addition, I think that Carthage should be ruined... yeah, I’m sorry, I’ve settled. I think we should teach everything!

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №120057
 30.10.2015
"In China allowed to have two children in a family".

All in all, we arrived. A little more, and it will be like this in Wiki:

The planet of the Silesian... tifu, that is, the Earth.
Minerals are few.
Water is little.
Very little vegetation.
Populated by Chinese.

[ + 21 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №120056
 30.10.2015
I don’t understand parents who do the children’s work on drawing and drawing because the children can’t ". These subjects are introduced to teach children who are not yet able. Per you work for them and in the wedding night, descendants that they do not know?

[ + 16 - ] Comment quote №120055
 30.10.2015
kaffeesahne: Last year, when I was in Germany, a friendly German asked to teach him Russian formulas of politeness, such as “thank you,” “please,” “hello,” and so on. I made him a table - the word in Russian, the same word translated, translation. All honestly, without foolish jokes. She explained that as used, read out loud, he printed the table, put it in a visible place, then we regularly remembered and repeated... in general, after a month of stubborn classes he knew three words in Russian: devil, sova and eg.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №120054
 30.10.2015
xx: in the morning, a girl wanted to add friends, and in the description "furniture from leading manufacturers"
XX: in general
Yy: ahahahaha

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №120053
 30.10.2015
In the box: "from manufacturer".

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