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[ + 33 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №119072
 04.10.2015
See also "What Where When".
Question: Continue the aforism of Z. Freud:
Civilization was born at the moment when man instead of stone threw..."
There is a discussion and there is a loud voice from one of the participants: palm!

[ + 23 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №119071
 04.10.2015
Article '' Facts about Russia through the eyes of the English woman':
The Russians have all of them: Ogu-rec, candlestick and former dogs.

[ + 26 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №119070
 04.10.2015
natali_sobakevic: I wonder how did you know that the light bulb was not turned off in the locked refrigerator?
Vokabre: It’s about sitting inside to watch my son turn off, saying it’s training before flying into space. The pioneer must always be ready.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №119069
 04.10.2015
The unique properties of Russian bombs have been discovered by British scientists. As it turned out, any bearded human organ-eatingers, filled with explosives, who came under their action are transformed first into “moderate opponents” and then into innocent children.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №119068
 04.10.2015
The rich help only those who help them become richer. @Konaarm

[ + 42 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №119067
 04.10.2015
Match Point

“Mastery is the stability of the outcome.”
(Mr M. Zhvanetsky)

I always stop at the occasion, I stop and watch with envy and admiration the work of real professionals. And it doesn’t matter who you are: the shoemaker in your booth, the bus driver, or the worker on the factory conveyor. And the more impossible it is for me to repeat it myself, the more interesting it is to observe.

Last Saturday, I was lucky to see the work of a high-class professional.

The case was in a suburban restaurant at a large, fun wedding.

I immediately attracted attention to that couple of guests.
She is: small, thick, eyelashed. Like a young "student" who in the school tiger cage tries to look stricter than her character allows. He is a tall blonde in a huge strict costume. I don't know what he's tall, but judging by the fact that he didn't raise his hands, hugged his "teacher" by his shoulders, apparently not small. And his tie was unusually long, the usual would not reach the belt.

By the gentle eyes of the girl and the curved back of the giant, it was immediately apparent that they loved each other. You see it is all.

The bridegroom whispered to me that this tall, his best friend and classmate was Vasya. What Vasya is a professional volleyball player, he was still in the fifth grade with one sting could send in the knock-out any ten-class student. And now he is almost in the national team and at least, he plays in world-class teams.

Started scourge competitions, then dances, gave hot, again competitions, cake, then again dances and about Vasya I completely forgot, but here the girls started their main wedding competition: I catch a small tightly broken bouquet of the bride.

There were a lot of unmarried girls, a man twenty. They joked, but more seriously, pushed, trying to take the most advantageous positions before the decisive throw.

Joined them and Vasina “student”. At first, she stood in front of everyone, even took off the glasses, but with her "metre of forty", there was nothing to catch there at all, even standing on the board. The bucket must fly much higher. Then she settled behind the whole crowd, but quickly realized that from there even the bride is not visible, not that the bouquet. As a result, the little girl stumbled somewhere to watch what was happening. I must admit, I was even a little sorry for her.

Finally, the bride turned away, and ripping the bouquet, shouted: “R-a-a-z!”, “Dv-a-a!”“!”

At this moment, as a sin, between the bride and a crowd of suffering girls, Vassya passed, the bouquet flew straight into him. Vasya wept, somehow uncomfortable pulled his head into his shoulders and closed with his hand.

The bouquet stumbled somewhere completely to the side and... landed exactly on the chest of a frightened “student”

Everyone was silent, some even shouted that there was "interference", the throw was not counted, it would have to be thrown.

But here, in the general turmoil, Vasya quickly approached his girlfriend and fell on his knees before her, because it was so appropriate, and most likely, so that, finally, their faces were at the same height. In a large, dissolved Vasina’s hand lay an open box.

The "student" cried and immediately, along with a trophy bouquet and a box, used to the pencil to his huge bridegroom.

Everyone applauded them for a long time and even shouted to them, “Bad!”

Half an hour later, I waited, when Vasya, slightly upset, stood alone for a second, approached and said:

Congratulations again, it was beautiful. But I want to ask – what if it didn’t work? Did you have a spare plan?

Vasya looked at me with a complacent glance and joyfully replied:

What does it mean “not succeeded”? Hm, it didn’t work... Here are you... Nothing on “you”? Who are you by profession?

I am a TV director.

The Director? You’re shouting “the motorcycle”?

It happens.

“Then imagine that you shouted ‘mo’ and you couldn’t shout ‘tor’... Strange, right? This is a very simple combination, easy pass. She served the ordinary bride, not the Brazilian. The throw is sluggish and predictable. Well how? How could it not work? It’s my job, I’ve been doing it all my life, I’ve been doing it for six years.

But with the box and the truth was not easy, tightly opened, the dog, I was afraid that without the nails I would not open in time.

Vasya stood on his pants, put his hand on his forehead, saw what he wanted, soon apologized and went through the crowd to his "student"...

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №119066
 04.10.2015
After resting and gaining strength and health in the villages, retirees return to the clinics.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №119065
 04.10.2015
Technology for sixth grade students. That all alleged activity ceases, the girls will make paper clothes (instead of sewing), and the boys - glue from cardboard layouts of taburets - will do, so to speak, the male business. I was overwhelmed and said that if they were going to do a man's business. Give them condoms. "Use vocabulary and associations that are unacceptable for a high school student".

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №119064
 04.10.2015
to this:
Soviet wallpapers - like a mattress.

You haven’t done any repairs in the bathroom yet. I have three layers of different tiles on the floor of the bathroom. And yes, of course, the last layer is a small two-color tile (the color of childhood surprise and bloody diarrhea), and, of course, it is also not ripped away with anything.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №119063
 04.10.2015
xxxh: by the fifth series began to understand a little bit in starks, lanisters, etc.

WOW: The short content of the future series is all dead.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №119062
 04.10.2015
An interesting name.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
> yyy: The lion strip? Is it a forest strip or a skins?

There lived an old Anastasia by the name of Pallas, with him lived a fox, the fox of Grandpa Pallas.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №119061
 04.10.2015
xxx: I managed to do something so terrible with the network that it disappeared from the system forever

YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №119060
 03.10.2015
Accidentally switched to the radio, heard the songs of his youth, understood it all. ... →

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №119059
 03.10.2015
What do you do at work?
I irreparably ruin people’s reputation.
O O O O?! to
I’m at McDonalds...

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №119058
 03.10.2015
Are you ready to accept Jesus in your heart?
YYU: What is it? No is! I knew a man in whose heart was Jesus, and... would I not like to repeat his fate?
XXX What Happened?
YYU: He was killed by crucifixion. Sitting directly between the ribs. Funny is it, right? They thought he was a vampire.
XX: And you say this, there is nothing holy in you at all?
YYU: Literally nothing. And I am immensely happy about that.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №119057
 03.10.2015
<Angelofnet> Here I will gather and open an atmospheric dining room of authentic St. Petersburg cuisine "Shaverma and поребрик". And I will do it with a special cynicism - in the first throne!

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №119056
 03.10.2015
Victorin@chipmaker: Don’t forget to strengthen the roof – we had a series of robberies – broke the roof. At the very two hanging castles on a powerful slope, underneath it a lock well - but I will not like to make a castle like in the Va-bank - to go up and down to the sides of the type of safe castle. In the gate, instead of a lock, the rail lock up in the form of an invisible hole supposedly covered with a screw. I only protect my bike.

[ + 27 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №119055
 03.10.2015
I live with my husband and dog. The mother-in-law (who lives nearby) jumped into the guests without warning, I didn't have time to remove the underwear from the dryer. She cries on the hanging dress:

A lovely color. Their own?

This is what she was waiting for: "No, winnie!" Or "no, benino!"?

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №119054
 03.10.2015
The cat was taken home from the street as an adult.

XX: When we put her in a bowl something especially delicious for her, she can't immediately believe it, rubs her legs, squeezes near the bowl, anxiously looks in the eyes: "Is it me? Couldn’t you be me?" We hung, we persuade, we take on our hands. We behave like a person, thereby depriving the freedom of movement, distancing ourselves from food and further increasing its anxiety. But to stay and just leave, seeing such a panic, is almost impossible.

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №119053
 03.10.2015
The former wrote last night:
How well it sleeps after the mine!
He answered politely:
And who did it?
I wonder why he was so angry.)

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