......
And here I am constantly asked: - I have a camera for 30 thousand rubles!
Why are my pictures worse than yours?
Is that what I should answer them?

Answer that measuring the quality of the photos by the number of pixels (the price of the camera) - is like measuring the quality of food in the table size of a cook!

- Grandma, grandma, and why in the toilets in the apartments, acoustics, like in the Big Theatre?

I want to hear you better, my child.

from ZH:



It is no secret that Moscow and the Moscovites are not very loved in the vast areas of our homeland. I will not give in to the causes of this dislike, for I am not a sociologist. In regions with a developed self-awareness, for some reason it is believed that the Moscovites are weak on vodka (well, in the main mass it is such a special courage - to drink a Moscovite, throwing him into an untouchable state. For example, one of my friends, who has a developed self-awareness, looking at one Moscow manager, who liked to stumble in a shared internet match with him, made a visit to him. It is remarkable that the manager at the time was in reference in the Lower, under the program of regional rotation of managers. So, a friend brought him to such a state that the manager, in a cabbage, naked by the belt, sang in a karaoke the song of a little mammoth. and the friend was so upset that it was not lazy to shoot the process on the mob. Accordingly, after the aforementioned event, it was only necessary for the person to start to punch again, as he had a photo of this circus or a video on his office soap. The ponts went off.



It is understandable that during the years of integration I have scattered all of Russia along and across. And in the attraction "pull out the moscovite", as a potential victim, participated repeatedly. Well, you understand, all the clever, in a tie and expensive costume, and also the hooks with him. He is a good guy, but he has to. Naturally in the cabbage. And of course vodka. At the 800 grams edge, the drunk in the fucking host side whispers, wondering that I have not yet fallen:

You are strong for Moscow.

You guys, I am a Samaritan!

You fuck, I didn’t say it right away.

What is it like to be a web programmer?



Here’s what I answered a familiar to this question:

“Imagine that you washed the floor and the ceiling became blue because of it. I washed again, the ceiling changed color to red. Things don’t seem to be related, but it’s exactly how it happens. And here you are trying to use different detergents and sweaters, pick up so that the color did not change, well, or at least changed but not very much. A friend advises to use a vacuum cleaner, she says she has been using it for a long time and she likes it. You struggle for 2 days trying to connect the vacuum cleaner to the network, a day trying to turn it on, but when you turn on all the windows broke and you curse your friend with the vacuum cleaner and swear never to use it again. After the method of scientific tick, you understand that if you use a 1.4 meter long swab without a detergent, the ceiling does not change the color. And here you successfully wash the floor in your home for a month, but then you move to a new apartment, do everything exactly the same but the ceiling changes color again. And you’re trying to get the right scarf...”

I walk around the street, suddenly I realize that for some reason some grief has burned on me, I remembered my childhood, a sandbox, a teacher. In a moment came the realization that all this is inseparably associated with the smell of boiled cabbage, which always smells so in kindergartens. Two women met me. Judging by conversation, the teacher. It smells of them. But the strangest thing about it is that it started with me when they were 100 meters ahead! Great kindergarten cuisine.

by Tanya_mass

For the cover of my collection "The City of Women" I chose February from the "Limburg Brothers’ Journal"

I thought it was women doing housework.
From lectures on the History of Painting from Wendy's sister, it was revealed that it was a housewife and two workers without a wardrobe, who put their genitals to heat up at the fire.
It almost fell under the table.

One of the famous fast food networks. According to the standard, production premises are divided into zones, conditionally "blue" and "green", which can be washed only by inventory of the corresponding color and not otherwise. Of course, everyone as usual, but completeness must be observed. However, the swabs inevitably break before new "standards" will be ordered, but who cares about it - it must be, and it's all here.

Here is the oil picture. It is worth the usual wooden swab, on which the blue mark is written "GREEN".

From a conversation with the provider:

Where do you have the cable?
In the ass!
Then remove it and put it in the router’s wan-port!

With water, it can be easier. Take a 5 litre bowl and then:
1) Add about 4 liters
2) we say "wow, mom I swear here 4 liters"
3) is it???? to
4) The Profit!! to

GMDA...
If you see Japanese movies where actors don’t play over, don’t shake their eyes and generally behave more or less like people – it means that you’ve gotten Japanese porn.

Who needs a balcony in the kitchen? Well, although I can explain this with the planning of the kitchen in 10 sq m.

The balcony in the kitchen for me personally is definitely better than the balcony in the room, because when someone is sleeping in the room, for example, a child, it does not prevent me from going to the balcony and doing anything there. Again, if someone is accustomed to smoking on the balcony, at least the smell does not go into the room.
In addition, in the cold season, the balcony is transformed into a natural refrigerator / freezer.

Smartphones and laptops insult each other. Through the blues they ignore each other, type no, have not seen such, you are more pr cha, master. Connect via USB:
Smart phone: "The charger is connected!"
Noah : Oh yeah! "The mini player is connected!"

Boys, don't argue, drivers and td anyway I have XD

What did you dream?
Dream is like that. I remembered the poster: "Our honour and conscience. And it’s good!" =)

Discussion of the news about the British rugby campsite:
Which of the Russian footballers will be the first to make a camping-out?
BBB: Their game is more eloquent than any other fireplace

Wisdom takes a long time. And it goes away quite quickly, encouraged by spikes of sclerosis.

Two years ago I was driving with a dog, I was driving, a dog in the rear seat. The windows are open, warm.
The light. A man with a sign "deaf, give", I pretend I can't see. He decides to attract attention and lean, trying to push his poster to me almost in the window. And here from the rear seat there is a heavy "RJV". The deafman jumps from surprise and with a matte leaps away from the car.
The green was already lit, and the three streets of our direction could not touch - everyone who saw, on the wheels from the hump was hit. Canisterapy - it sometimes happens, yes - the deaf hear, the dumb talk.

An American comes to a lawyer and asks for advice.
My neighbor owes me $500 and he doesn’t give it. Can I give him that money?
You can, but it requires written proof that you owe it. Do you have such proof?
I am afraid that not. He just took me so.
Then write him a letter and ask in that letter that he immediately return you a thousand dollars.
But he owes me only $500!
That is how he will answer. This will be a written proof.

Someday you’ll say, “No, don’t throw those bulbs away, I’ll put them in a bowl.” At that moment my childhood ended.

My classmate’s mother didn’t allow me to cut her hair. She waited until her dad stunned and asked him to cut her hair. My mom had nowhere to go :)

Nicole White: F*ck the system!

The question to the experts: why at night the cat (castrated in time, i.e. In early youth) walks around the house and takes out the ice-ridden rods of the soul? And also his toy - a rope on a rod - for a rope in his teeth (scratching a rod on the floor), not ceasing to scream? The cat is healthy, full and cheerful during the day. What is missing from him, because he can’t sleep!