bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №118452
 14.09.2015
From the "horrors" about the first of September. My mother tells me on the eve: "I dream that September 1st came, and I did not enroll Olesya (my oldest) in school. We came to the lineup, and it is not known to which class to go, and in general, it is not hairy and without flowers. I wake up in a cold sweat. And then I realize that Olese will go to school only next year, and I am not a mom, but a grandmother. Now it is not my problem, it is yours.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №118451
 14.09.2015
Ian Zagorskikh: Russian powerlifter Andrei Rodichev climbed the Elbrus with a 75-kilogram bar on his shoulders. The entire journey, excluding the week spent on acclimatization, took 8 days. In some places, the speed of the rise dropped to 15 meters per hour, and in the last two days to walk had to be in weather conditions.

Despite all the difficulties and eye burns received, the athlete from the Murmansk region still found himself on the top of the mountain on September 6 at 12:15. Andrei Rodichev decided to leave the stang on the top of Elbrus, as evidenced by a post on his blog: "Now the stang decorates the top of Elbrus and is part of the monument installed on it."

Ian Zagorskikh: I imagine: people go there in soap and soap, and there is a barrel...

[ + 16 - ] Comment quote №118450
 14.09.2015
HH: I love to travel!
So many new sensations! Many new discoveries, new acquaintances, new eggs
Theme: The Faces

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №118449
 14.09.2015
My mother's overturned cigarette symbolized that her mother accidentally dropped her and dropped her, so now she will not smoke, but for the shooters will hold)))

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №118448
 14.09.2015
HYYU
Concert in support of elections
Girls singing pops.
8 people spectators
All mentions of security.
A clear example of what our people think about elections and associated holidays

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №118447
 14.09.2015
I assembled and actively use the glue in theaters, so that idiots do not interfere with watching the movie.
...
Here someone would have gathered a "dirty" piece, from the p... sorry, idiots, with popcorn, the cheesecake.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №118446
 14.09.2015
sum: I looked at the phone in the contact archive. This is a group I have in which I put old and unnecessary contacts, so that the eyes don’t blink.
Sum: I encountered an eye on some “Ekaterina Ronjaet.”
Sum: I tried to understand who it was and why I kept it under that name.
sum: Opened the SMS correspondence, scroll up - "App "Messages" stopped".
Sum: Now I have understood.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №118445
 14.09.2015
To all who have gathered:
blue eye

[ + 13 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №118444
 14.09.2015
If the hypothesis is put forward by a writer, but not a scientist, it is fiction. And if a scientist says fantastic things, it is a hypothesis.
Joseph of Egypt

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №118443
 14.09.2015
On September 13th, the Jewish year 5776 will begin. I remember a story that happened 30 years ago. I had a friend, and his birthday in that distant year coincided with the Jewish New Year. I was on a business trip, I could not personally congratulate and decided to send a telegram. Why a Telegraph? Because there were no emails then, the letters could go as long as they wanted, and the telegrams, if sent earlier, during the day still arrived.

I went to the post office for the opening. I wrote on a form (without signs of interruption and excuses, not to pay extra money): "Dear Misha We congratulate you on your birthday We wish you all good kisses" and I think how to congratulate you on the New Year? The traditional formula in Hebrew is this: "Shana to u-metuka!" - "Good and sweet year!", but it was not possible to write this, the time was such. Writing in Hebrew – encryption. Writing in Russian – why do you congratulate the New Year in September? In any case, a challenge to the KGB is ensured. The congratulations in this case will live into subversive Zionist activity, and there is not far from the betrayal of the Motherland. They probably won’t land, but the trouble will be certain. Therefore, I did not continue the text, but signed: "Shanina Tobin Umetukov Bikoyarov". The bullshit is me.The mail received the telegram without questions.

What happened in the evening, Misha briefly described as follows: “I come home from work. Birthday, New Year, guests on the way, champagne and vodka in the refrigerator, and my Aida is darker than clouds. He extends a telegram and says:
Read it! Congratulations on your birthday! Well, I know, but who are these three fools?“!”

To all who celebrate and do not celebrate: Shanata to u-metuka! and postcard at http://abrp722.livejournal.com in my Live Journal.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №118442
 14.09.2015
I was always surprised by the news. Reports about the death of a famous person usually begin with the words: "Now the sad news." That is, 15 minutes ago they talked about disasters, terrorist attacks, cataclysms, and it was never sad. So much sadness, so much sadness.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №118441
 14.09.2015
As the saying goes, why do you need a friend if you can’t eat it?

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №118440
 14.09.2015
I urgently need an image consultant. I want to buy two costumes. and T-shirt
Find it on the net))
They are there from 4k per hour.
Anya: Then let just a familiar girl advise)) For food )))
Mikhail: Interesting, but what else will my acquaintances prepare for food =)

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №118439
 14.09.2015
D: The rules of chess are very simple – walk a horse and win.

G is heh. However, there is a grain of truth, because the horse is first an unpredictable pidoras, and then a figure!

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №118438
 14.09.2015
For those who have complained about the weather, let me tell you:
In Siberia, autumn has begun.
On Friday it was +29. No, we didn’t have +30, it’s an exaggeration.
On Saturday it rained and it cooled to +5. Snow is possible.
Would you be able?

The door was slightly opened.
There is a note I left.
Forgive me for everything that has not happened.
Start with autumn.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №118437
 14.09.2015
*111 so far bought train tickets, fast there/slow back
222: the adsl train

[ + 27 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №118436
 14.09.2015
The observer went out to smoke with the policeman and got into the area.
This occurred in the Railway District, on the section 09\32 (school No. 71). An observer from an independent candidate told journalists about how unexpectedly he was in the police station.
I went out to smoke on the street with a police officer who was on guard in the same area. We smoked, we talked and everything was fine. And then he turned me, called the car and said that he was making an administrative violation. Smoking in public places. While his own bull was still smoking in the urn... But really – can he not take himself to the site?

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №118435
 14.09.2015
I: Let’s weigh the cat. Give a package
Brother: Will it fit?
(we kick the cat in the bag, the cat does not kick, the handles of the pack are crisp - and half)
Now let’s see how many kilos the package is designed for.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №118434
 14.09.2015
About the Cat:

I think if cats had booked their seats in hotels, they would have cried out - girl, why am I settled in a fur cottage, I paid for a box under a rubik cube! Say, but you can order a room in the corner behind the TV, where all the dusty wires are gathered together. Understand, I have my first wedding night, I want to surprise my girlfriend, a very important pack, dead flies, and a fantasy from a kidney surprise. In the morning, be sure to serve a straw for the toilet, from which everything drops. Tell me, can’t you replace this newly pronounced shirt with a dirty shirt after training and a place in the middle of the MCAD? Are all the places on the shoes already occupied? In a potato cage? Or at least in pots with earth and stones? In the middle of a place? Is there? How well! Will they be spotted on me? very well. Are they going to be in the capsicum? Oh my God, I’ve gone astray.

So Yash swallowed them all.
He was lying in his bowl with a filler. For what was wildly washed with strawberries soap and sponge.

[ + 31 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №118433
 14.09.2015
Cut off the light. The husband took a solar battery to charge phones and other electronic stuff, but the battery quickly gave the available energy, and from the darkness of the night refused to charge. Then the engineer pretended that a burning wax candle was also a photon transmitter. He placed the battery near the candle, covered the farm with foil so that the light would not run away, and sat next to this iconostasis waiting for the solar battery to be charged.
For the first time in my life, I saw a picture of how the technology is tried to charge with the force of fire.

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