bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №115932
 11.07.2015
You are all here scandalizing, find out...Better appreciate how cheerfully the words of romance "Chrysanthemums have long since bloomed in the garden" on the motive of the American anthem

[ + 38 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №115931
 11.07.2015
From the contact:

“Hey, Commander, I had to stand here, and well, I have to get rid of it, I need it urgently. An enormous man was pushed.
I will go without a line, I have children at home! A hysterical eagle.
- Well, we gave up to the elderly, my legs hurt and I am a veteran and a disabled person in general - all of my grandmother's chariot with the force of a heavyweight, and not an old disabled person.
Just ask me! The guy tried to resist.
- I am a member, I am out of line - a man of immense size was waving.
And only the devil, sitting at the gates of hell, looked at this vaccanalia and scratched his neck astonished.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №115930
 10.07.2015
The musicians will understand.
I play a game for the children’s playground "Guess the melody". Conversation with a friend:
Please help me. I need to draw a note.
The eighth to you? Or a half?
I can paint half of it myself.
I’m crazy, I can paint it all.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №115929
 10.07.2015
I am just shaking how many slaves are rubbed here, for whom the highest value is to soften the boss. The rage of pregnant women revealed unseen depths. No time to relax, work is waiting, uncle has not all the money yet earned. The crochet he has already bought, and the villas are still missing. Then I sent my daughter to Princeton. So let’s go, slaves, blow up. Abortions are still under OMS. If you are lucky, your master will appoint you a beloved wife (he will give you promotion and a couple of slaves to command). Rest at the cemetery.

[ + 19 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №115928
 10.07.2015
You have a sweet life, you have not smelled dust. Homework, enough to eat and well. This is real life! In other words, they invented a rest outside the hill three times a year, restaurants were all kinds of unnecessary goods of bourgeois life. Live like normal people and 25k will suddenly be a good salary. There has been a growing generation of hookers.
= is
Barin is unhappy that the holograms don’t want to just smell? Strange, it will soon be a hundred years as such have been rid of.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №115927
 10.07.2015
Shorten your hair.
Buy a new shirt and sunglasses.
Put the air conditioner in the car.
Make a bowl and a cold bowl.

Do not give the summer a chance to come!

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №115926
 10.07.2015
If there is hell, it is a medical commission. You stand in huge queues to be woven into you with a needle and a hammer cut off.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №115925
 10.07.2015
Listen, gentlemen, do you have any complaints about the surroundings? You contradict yourself with your presuppositions at every step.

Don’t you like the cheetahs and women who have happily escaped the holy yoke of marriage? Respect the children and help them.
Do you want children and ovulations to get stressed? Don’t fuck your brains on the topic of “free and independent women” with their dumb demotivators with cats.
And better, just don’t fuck your brains. Everyone chooses the cross for themselves, or to grumble in youth, or loneliness in old age. Do you want respect for yourself? Respect the choice of others. The wickedness in our society is just scattering, the comments - all the bitches and attacks on everyone, the men on the babies and vice versa, on cyclists, on pregnant women, on children, on the childless, on the piddars, on drivers, on.... yes, on all!
People, what about you? Go all in pop. You owe nothing to anyone? You too, close up now.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №115924
 10.07.2015
XXX is BIG. Our colleagues in the kitchen explained to a foreign guest what compot is. It's like a tea with berries but without tea :D

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №115923
 10.07.2015
News: In Perm late in the evening there was a fire in the territory of the store "All at 37". The cause of the fire is believed to have been a shutdown in the electric shield. No one was injured in the incident".
The best comment: "Probably, the electric boiler cost 37 rubles..."

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №115922
 10.07.2015
The leader of the group "Ramstein" appealed to Merkel with a request to let him be treated in Syktyvkar.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №115921
 10.07.2015
I work in a small brewery. Students come to practice. They do useful technical work, including helping to pour beer into bottles.
He enters the office of the gentleman and goes to the production director. The further dialogue:
There, a student’s beer bottle exploded!
P.S. Yes, that is what happens.
The student is in horror, almost crying out of fear! Go to calm!
And then one of the accountants enters the dialogue (such a nice and participatory girlfriend):
“Well, right now the bottle... I have to tell him that he’s very lucky, because just recently Kega exploded and knocked out the door.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №115920
 10.07.2015
Here is here:
My dad decided to prepare something. I scratched... blabbled.
Our dad fries something on a bowl once every 2-3 months. The last time nothing burned - the first time in a life together!

Fuck you girls! Am I the only one who perceives such phrases as the description of the FATHER’s story story, not the MAN’s? And then I'm still dumb for a minute - say, what's the life together, if it's about daddy? Do not move on to the mother's jargon all of the mother's circle of communication, the forces are no longer!

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №115919
 10.07.2015
When I was around 15, I knew a little more about compasses than many of my neighbors and sometimes helped solve questions about the little things.

One time I was asked that in the word everything is strangely printed... in half an hour I just removed the screw and put it again. I was lazy to understand...
And don’t say that didn’t help... but from the height of years I think that pressing the insert key would be easier...

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №115918
 10.07.2015
silver_m
A couple of years ago, in a marine aquarium near Miami, scientists brought several dolphins just caught in the ocean and planted them to already domesticated individuals, dividing for the case by a fence. According to the witnesses of the guards, all the next night the noise from the aquarium was delivered - these old people engaged in a conversation with the newcomers. The dolphins communicated through the fence without seeing each other.
What was the surprise of the scientists, when in the morning they discovered that the newcomers already know perfectly and perfectly perform all those tricks, which were previously taught by their previously caught colleagues.

Pancho
They told me how and why to get fish.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №115917
 10.07.2015
Everyone has come across a situation when the door pen is wet in a public toilet. Well, understandably, the previous visitor washed his hands, and wipe out nothing - the dryer does not work, the towels ended. Nothing terrible at all. And the scary is when the pen is wet and there is no drainage in the toilet.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №115916
 10.07.2015
prepared for work. Two small firmochki on "pairing anything to anyone". One did not take, the donkey in the other (their direct competitors). I admire myself, the work is not dusty, enough for the slaughter, the collective is normal, I pretend what horizons can be conquered and where to grow and here the bell. A call from the office where I was not taken. Interesting I think. "The grid fell" their only special in infection, and the director is on vacation. Well, I left my contacts, here they screamed. From the threshold to the forehead he asked if they would take me to work. It depends on how I handle it. and OK. He raised the servacle (directed the brains to the router), and at the same time merged their client base (because they were downsides). When asked when I should go out, they offered the option that they would call me when something happens and pay for full-time work.
When he told the boss and gave him the flash, he felt like a cat who brought a spider into his tapes.
I write because of a salary increase and a prize. The prize, shit, is unusual! Ura!

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №115915
 10.07.2015
I can’t help but throw my five copies. In the top of 25 quotes 13 messages about pregnant women, 2 about cables, 3 more with comments. People posting quotes, are you sure you came to that resource?

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №115914
 10.07.2015
>>> About Great Novgorod everything is reversed to the exact opposite.
You are speaking from Novgorod, in response:"A, from Lower..."
Then spend 2-3 minutes. to explain the geographical position of the Great and the Lower.)

Luckily, you people, you never had to explain to the Russians in which country of the world Orenburg is located.

[ + 34 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №115913
 10.07.2015
And I am very surprised and amazed, people calling children bite, pregnant mothers and young mothers chickens, you are all from the kindergarten? Who gave you birth? Where did this hatred come from, who raised you? I think it was just a chicken and a cock, and you’re a bitch, I have it all.

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