bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №112389
 21.04.2015
A donation collector approached me and asked, “Do you know how often people die from AIDS?”
I said, “I am not a specialist. Probably only once.”

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №112388
 21.04.2015
To us, first-class students, an elderly professor, a chemist, told such a story. At the exam, the student does not pull at all, it is clear that he did not study, but sadly he became a student, gave a chance. He asks:
Tell me what the pH is and I’ll give you 3.
The student thought for a long time. I don’t know the answer, but I need to:
Hydride of phosphorus.! to
The professor put him 3)))

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №112387
 21.04.2015
X: What kind of ways to smash a younger sister? (for a half year)
Tell her that her sister is a fool.
X: In the sense? Half a year!
X: I didn’t understand???! to

[ + 30 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №112386
 21.04.2015
The Orc Yatagan. For hundreds of years, this iron of unprofitable kind has been in the armor of the most warrior people of Arda! It weighs 1 kg along with the legs. The cloth is crowned so that it does not shine. No jewelry is provided - nude function. Weapons of Total War. The elephant sword can break the hair, but the orc jatagan can break the elephant.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №112385
 21.04.2015
Radomir: Yesterday was a comic incident. There is such a point as Winged Nick on Pushkin. I recovered it yesterday, had to look like resonators around the district. There is some state control. Binded, demons, like I plotted here with drugs decided to put. Aha next to them. For some reason told about Ingress uncle major, such as about portals, energy and installation of fields - so he decided to me for the examination of the car :D

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №112384
 21.04.2015
XXX is
Hahahah, I’m getting laughed right now!!
XXX is
He has an aptitude in the composition:"Topor as the main character of the novel Crime and Punishment":Dostoevsky's father was a surgeon and, as a child, frightened Misha with stories about how "this simple tail rubbed his legs, and a Frenchman"robbed his son with a shoe for bad behavior. Roman Dostoevsky conceived to protest his father, and the plot took from the criminal chronicle.
I can’t go any further ?

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №112383
 21.04.2015
I was in this state the last time I had socks in the iPhone box, first joy and euphoria, and then a complete breakdown.


[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №112382
 21.04.2015
There are didactic failures in the Bible.
For example, the words about the straw and the straw were thought of
as an indication of the difficulty of noticing our sins
No demanding approach to oneself.
Respect for external criticism,
Used at all times.
Only for the controversial objection: "on yourself, shit, look!".

[ + 22 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №112381
 21.04.2015
of ablation. No, it’s not mat, it’s a scientific term.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №112380
 21.04.2015
In the event of war, all full-fledged citizens are subject to mobilization. They may be expelled with disgrace without the right of second attempt for gross disciplinary violations.
somehow so. Now we can discuss.
____________________________
Ancient Greek policies. The direct democracy. For the decisions made at the ecclesies, each citizen was responsible with his own wallet and head, and not some there unclear fall of indexes. In the event of war, women and slaves remained out of service. Do you want to get in order? PNF of citizens. You want to scream on the whole policy about freedom and equality - it's not a question, here you have citizenship, here you have an agora. and scream. But if the army of the neighbor's police comes, here is your spear, here is your shield. Do you want to get in order? Welcome to the slaves.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №112379
 21.04.2015
At a time when Sabbaths were compulsory for everyone, after them they were usually collectively drunk. And then one day my father and a couple of other colleagues were invited to visit on Saturday. They have already come to the party. They see a large table, headed by a couple. Decided that the wedding, started shouting "Bitter!", the couple, respectively, kiss.

When the feast was over, the couple approached them and, thanking for the visit, said they hadn’t had such fun for a long time. And so they celebrated their birthday.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №112378
 21.04.2015
XHH: And we argue you can't break through the notes to re mi fa from la si?
__________________________________________________________________________________
100 thousand. Men with broken voices. You cannot write this here.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №112377
 21.04.2015
A 9 year old daughter speaks to Siri.

Q: How do I call you?
D: Call me a man!
Q: Should I call you a Mason?
D: Yes, call me a man!
Q: Okay, how can I help you?

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №112376
 20.04.2015
Tell this to Asian and Arab countries, which from the age of 12 are fertilized like rabbits. And you keep morality and watch the white race die out under the oppression of morality.
--------
And now tell 12-year-old girls that by the age of 40 they will already be exquisite old ladies. Let’s see how excited this prospect will be. Do not confuse quantity and quality. Survival and quality of life.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №112375
 20.04.2015
It doesn’t lie, it just doesn’t get stuck and says:

Therefore, men (and only men) were given TALLONS FOR CIGARETS, plus vodka coupons for all! And how they, the poor, will not satisfy their urgent need for drugs. And the grandmothers with their needs - what is there, will overflow. They are used to overtaking."

===

Sorry, but I think you are lying a bit.
In my city (Siberia) coupons were given simply to family members, regardless of gender and age.
As far as I know, it was the same everywhere.

So the prune, the pjlsta, the offended victim of male sexism.
==== is
The coupons were given to people, so at the age of 13, I legally got the right to buy 2 bottles of vodka (cognac, wine, tincture, etc.) How many packs of cigarettes a month? Only his father smokes in the family, so he was not stressed with tobacco. And the voucher vodka was generally the currency for calculations by a tractorist in the village or by the same sane technician, etc. And the need for it was urgent for any sober retiree.
The people do not remember routine things - on the other hand, the article on the wiki is fun: the restructuring economy through the eyes of its subject.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №112374
 20.04.2015
Yesterday, my friend and I went to a shoe shop, and there two young girls were picking shoes. So one looks like boots in front of the mirror, and the other asks, “What is true, am I in them like from the tundra?” The girlfriend replied: Yes, it is true. Then the first one answers in full seriousness: Take it! and took. This is an individual approach to its own beauty.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №112373
 20.04.2015
XXX is fucking! Two girls fell in love with me. One from advertising, the other from accounting. They made a mess with each other.
YYY: Choose one and go away from the other.
XXX: I sent them both away. I have a wife.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №112372
 20.04.2015
Following this quote:
by *****
XXX: A friend told me. Call to the Temple Shop:
When are you getting married?
The officer told the rules.
“No, we want to make the wedding a gift, the young people just go to the temple, and then they begin to worship them.

Good that I didn’t order the cut!
by *****
Guys, here are you who are believers... Truly believers, I mean. Please go away from the atheists. Educate yours... here are those who "marriage as a gift" order. This will leave a much better impression of you than eternal ridicule due to a misunderstanding between worldviews.
After all, we are trolling you, that is, looking for some ambiguous moments, throwing them out to the general view and watching the reaction. And they... they really think it should be so.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №112371
 20.04.2015
here here :
__________
Why then, everyone who remembers "Starlanding" Heinlein forgets one key thing. Citizenship was not given for military service, but for state service. Yes, 80% of the posts were military, but there were also research departments, and medical and service personnel. The place in the state service was given to anyone. The only possibility to refuse service was the recognition of a person incapable, or rather incapable of understanding the words of the oath. And the main quality was not discipline, but the ability to subordinate the Allied interests to the public interests.
_____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Brother (sister), and this is all because most of those who remembered did not read the book, but watched the movie. These are two very big differences. In spite of the general story.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №112370
 20.04.2015
Evolution is fucking. A cat came. Scientifically popularly explained to him that there is no money, so his favorite cakes and bags are cancelled, and there is quite a edible soup. He understood and left. Within a minute, a 10 ruble coin flew out of the sofa with a powerful hockey throw.

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