bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №112349
 20.04.2015
Then a friend at work was embarrassed) bought his wife a certificate in sex.рф for training on the art of oral sex, they have their games there)) wiped it in a envelope, white, opaque, in the same envelope in the bag was a contract with the client. He took and placed the wrong envelope on the table. In the morning, he asked him so eagerly on the planner, does this not mean that the client has handed us "sugging"? My friend is not ashamed.)

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №112348
 20.04.2015
to this:

You are Freud:

Sho is that? Do colored eggs harm the child’s psyche? Simbolize, probably, what such a freudian in the inflamed consciousness of children’s defenders?

If the eggs were painted without your "HV" - let them paint. But I will not allow my child to rub my goddess without my consent. Rather, I would like to not allow, as nobody asks, but rubs how much they will think. by Pidaras.

...It would be fine if freedicals, but here is a strange story on FB:
On Easter in 1999, I made an action with the Moscow Planetarium on the order of the textile giant Monolit. We wrapped the dome of the Planetarium with red-bonded matter, hanged the giant golden letters X and B on it, and called it the 'biggest Easter egg in the world'. The action went wonderfully, there were a lot of VIPs, children presented a collection of cockroaches, the father blessed those gathered and released a white pigeon into the sky...
In the morning, Igor Mikitasov, the then director of Planetarium, calls me and says - a scandal! The prefecture demands that everything be removed from the dome immediately.
What do you allow yourself? They resent.
In the sense? I don’t understand Mickey.
These letters!
- The letters mean "Christ has risen", says Mikitasov.
Don’t make us idiots, they make noise in the prefecture. - And I understand what you mean "Hey you!"
They were not convinced and had to dismantle everything.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №112347
 20.04.2015
from the same observations.
– – – – –
Who has bread with oil, dried with sugar?
............

from personal observations: sugar was poured in the European part. In the distant Zuaralye poured the salt of Oo
– – – – –
Bread (white) + oil (sweetened) + sugar
Bread (black, grey) + oil (sunflower) + salt
And the coordinates on the planet Earth are not important.


[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №112346
 20.04.2015
Yesterday I went to my daughter's school for a rehearsal of the festive concert on May 9.
Everything is beautiful, organized, pathetic. On the back of the scene are the film chronicles.
Sounding in the background of one of the scenes music, seemed to be fuzzy familiar.
Soviet March from the 3rd Order of Alert.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №112345
 20.04.2015
I want kefir, but my cat is asleep.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №112344
 20.04.2015
I lie in the maternity. I asked my husband to bring something sweet. I don't know what logic he was guided by, but he brought a pastry!! to

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №112343
 20.04.2015
Oh yeah how:

Why are you afraid that your weekends drinking, feeding and not beating children will be taken for your Sunday bottle of beer? Do not mix my shoes. And if your child is forever in the bleach, hungry and overwhelmed, then you can push your indignation about the guardianship bodies deeper.
--------
The Truth? What if my child is always dirty and cut off because he is punk? And the blue on him constantly because he goes to the boxing section?
Do I have to prove that I am not hungry and not beating a child?
--------
If your child is a punk at three years old, and in his boxing section - hardcore without gloves, then yes, probably, you will have to explain.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №112342
 20.04.2015
I can't download videos with Bees and Winnie Pooh - everywhere only the ass gets.

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №112341
 20.04.2015
My friend was a gastroenterologist. In to Tokyo. He writes all kinds of business plans. In this, the Aborigines traditionally trust the pale faces. The Japanese people are commanding, and it is not easy to write a text with ten. Not to mention English or Boom Boom. In such cases, the powerful collective mind is usually desperate and calls the varyaga.

It would be nothing, but when moving to Tokyo, a child was injured! My son, Tom, is 4 years old. No, think about it, look at the world through the eyes of this Theme – they snatched him out of their Vladivostok children’s saddle house, where he was just the leader and leader of the masses, and took the hell know where, in general, to another planet. Communicate only with parents, and you do not command them. After a short thought, his parents arranged him in a Japanese garden. But the Japanese did not take, but only took in the exclusive international. In general, there were mostly Japanese children, gathered with one goal - to learn other languages as native. But with foreign children there has been a misunderstanding and confusion: children hear everything adults say, but take it seriously, apocalyptically.

As a result: yes, there is the only Chinese girl in the kindergarten, but she categorically does not want to bend under the Korean language. The Korean boy doesn’t want to speak Chinese. Both do not want to talk in Japanese. A boy from France is convinced that his language is better than English, and seems to have remained in the minority - two against him, a guy from the states and a girl from the UK. But the Scottish girl dislikes the English - the occupants of her country, and tries to teach the Japanese to her unimaginable speech.

And apart from these quarrels - Thema with his charisma and the absolute majority - Japanese children with their command spirit and a great desire to learn a foreign language. In general, lately the educator complains - the whole kindergarten began to communicate mostly in Russian. Our professional diplomats have achievements so far...

[ + 33 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №112340
 20.04.2015
A Ukrainian and a Belarusian. The Ukrainian:
You do not have your cowboys. They take them from us.
Belarus is silent.
The Ukrainian:
You don’t have your own sweet. They take it from us.
Belarus is silent.
The Ukrainian:
You have no vineyard. You have him...
The Belarusian:
During the war there were no police officers. yours are imported.

[ + 22 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №112339
 20.04.2015
She brought the cake, cut it and feasted everyone. And who wasn't, just left on a personal shelf in a plate, a covered piece.

Imagine you are on vacation or out of the hospital, and you have a cake on the shelf. It is pleasant :)

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №112338
 20.04.2015
The theory of evolution is just a theory.
===
You are an ignorant fool.
This, as you say, is only a theory, not only has long been confirmed by experiments and in practice (and you are lazy to learn), but has also been successfully commercialized in the form of working (!) and practical (!!) The engineers!!! and technology. A business thing is serious - does not like abstract things. Technology either produces results and profits, or it does not exist.
Anything that you think contradicts the theory of evolution, get it and show it. But take into account that arguments such as "mama clanus da" and "can not be so, because I think I want to do so" do not pass in science. Here we will have to withstand the cruelest cross-checking of scientists all over the world and bring such data that cannot be explained in the framework of the evolutionary approach. And then to anyone who can refute evolution by strict scientific criteria, the Nobel Prize is guaranteed, or not only.
What about alternative theories in school? and health. For example, that the world is not real and we all photograph Shiva. Or that we were painted by aliens from a multidimensional universe. Or that all living things were created by God. Or that we live in the Matrix and all of our memory is falsified. All these “alternative theories” have the same value and the same evidence base and place somewhere in “religious science.”

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №112337
 20.04.2015
MapMaker: Will a perverted Japanese mind be able to create such a porn that it will be able to grasp and finally calm down?? to

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №112336
 20.04.2015
I went into the kitchen, passed by my father and suddenly cried out:
XHH: And we argue you can't break through the notes to re mi fa from la si?
He looked at me like a fool and said he wasn’t going to do such nonsense. I nodded, silently told him and went on. I drink tea, I hear – I try to rip, I can’t...
HH: And then annoyingly: think who should be able to do that at all!! to

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №112335
 20.04.2015
Don’t look for a man, I’m looking for a man too.)
and twins.
XXX is a good option. The main thing is not to confuse.
Yyy: We will make them tattoos: left and right)
XXX: My Left XDD
YYY : Why?
Because I never have problems with my left socks. The right is forever lost.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №112334
 20.04.2015
5 cops of the military:
When he served in not the worst troops, with his fellow servants he often discussed the topic: "how, well, how can you so bind the farm that half a thousand ryl, day and night work almost without rest (and it is on the state supply) and with great difficulty only serve themselves and not very successfully take out their own dirt? How is? Let God let these economic geniuses of efficiency run! And so we stand from the stupidity of officials, and there and stand it will not be.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №112333
 20.04.2015
You have a deep soul. and cover.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №112332
 20.04.2015
Spanish blade, worthy of the honor of becoming Queen of France,
............
What a loud word is "a worthy honour". If you take a book that, although far from the real history, is still more canonical by default than a film, then
1st The Queen was married against her will.
2nd The king didn’t love her and didn’t put her in money.
Three She lived in constant fear for her life.
Although giving the suspensions to Buckingham was extremely reckless on her part.
Constance (the third idiot in your classification) was also married against her will to a greedy and disgusting old man. Yes, and blush with Charles d'Artagnan she didn't have time.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №112331
 20.04.2015
_______
And why has no animal species evolved into something new in the last five thousand years?
_______

Over the past 50 years, more than 2,500 cases of adaptation of insects to various pesticides have been recorded.

In the 1950s, the problem of bed bugs in the U.S. was practically solved by their eradication, but in the late 1990s in New York City appeared its new form resistant to the action of insecticides. These bugs have a thick wax-shaped cuticle, accelerated metabolism and dominant mutations that block the action of insecticides.

In the cave reservoirs live Mexican Pecilia (Poecilia mexicana Steindachner, 1863). These are fish of the family of viviparous (widespread among aquarians around the world). Aboriginal inhabitants of Southern Mexico have preserved one of the ancient religious rites of spelling the rain. They prepare a special paste from the root of local poisonous plants, and then submerge it in a cave lake for prayers.

The poison kills the Pecylia, which passes to the surface, and the peasants collect and eat them, calling for rain. By the way, the taste of Pecilia Mexican is just awful. The Mexican government banned this religious activity, however, nature also found a solution — many populations of the Mexican Pecilia evolved, developing resistance to the action of poison. It turned out that the cave forms of this species are able to withstand twice the concentration of poison than the cave forms, and accordingly their chances of survival are twice as high.

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №112330
 19.04.2015
I believe that the value of the vote in elections and in general human rights should be taken into account in relation to the value of the person for society. What is a drug addict or an alcoholic for society? What is the value of their votes? The right to vote, the right to free education, the right to free treatment should only be in the hands of valuable people.
and...

I agreed, but I will determine the value.
by PS. You have not passed.


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