Already expressed on these pages the comparison of the behavior of the inhabitants of our town with the curse of King Midas. The same, the legendary king, who, "by the command of a man" found the ability to turn into gold everything he touched. Only unlike a fairy tale hero, my countrymen have a magical gift to turn everything around them into shit.
Yesterday opened the first store in the city of the network "Domostrud". At the entrance, every visitor was given a medical mask for free. The one that saves from the terrible coronavirus.
I don’t know what kind of organizers have done this, but they’re good. And we are not.
By the end of the day, the whole district was filled with abandoned masks. The inhabitants of the fairy town once again, in all its beauty, showed their magical gift.
Without realizing themselves as the culprits of this shit, those who grew up in shit, who see nothing in life except shit, shit and will remain and will live, angry that they see nothing good in life, one shit around.
Unless they want to change themselves.

- Are you not afraid that after removing all restrictions on covid, there will be a sharp increase in morbidity?
No, our experts have learned to control the statistics.

When I lived in the community, of course, I encountered different situations. One night I woke up from a terrible scream of a neighbor who saw in the window (and we lived on the 4th floor) a man on a rope. I was scared that a student did not cope with the stress during the session. It turned out that it was just a guy on the boxes tied to his girlfriend. We were suggested not to risk our lives, get up to us and calmly get up to the destination. He said it was too simple and used further...

Sometimes amendments turn into redress.

China produces hats and T-shirts with the inscription "Boycott China" due to high demand in India.

I told my husband that when he got out of the soul, we would talk about what I found in his phone! The fourth day washed.

I’m not embarrassed, I’m not indifferent, and in case a person has something wrong – a bag or a bag out of the hospital without control. Even if it’s just a stranger on the street, I’ll come and say it politely. Just because I would like to be told in such a situation too.

So, a couple of years ago, I go on my business and I meet a girl. Well, the beauty is just - slim, hair wave, short top, shirt-pluse and heels. The men turn and die.

I was jealous for a moment. I think there is such a shit that there is so much emotion. I watched it as soon as we walked away. That is really shit. The naked ass in the strings.

The tip of the bottom from behind was stuck under the belt of the shirt, bowing the entire butt straight to the rubber of the cowards. of the deco)

She grabbed the girl, carefully told her to fix the shirt from the back. She turned red, and said:

I was in the subway, fucking!! to

I become too sensitive with age.

Apparently, my testosterone levels are decreasing, but I’m not sure.

But what I’m sure about is that when I was in the ninth grade of high school, testosterone in me and my classmates was so much that it could be thrown into three-litre bottles.

At the same time, our ninth “b” class was very friendly.

We almost never quarreled: the boys did not fight with each other, and the girls did not harm and always let them write off.

But in every class there is always a star - the most beautiful girl.

We also had her, and she was called Tanya.

Every morning Tanya walked through the school corridor, and all the boys, opening their mouths, looked after her, some even stupidly smiled.

She, of course, understood that it produced the effect of a nuclear bomb on the boys, so she made them ring, like hundreds of bells, with laughter, from which even the graduates took their heads.

Only my classmate Vovchik never looked at Tanya and did not accompany her with an enthusiastic, burning youthful look.

Every time Tanya passed by him, he lowered his eyes or went aside, showing indifference in all his appearance.

Everyone knew he was secretly in love with her.

One day, when Vovchik once again harshly ignored the most beautiful girl, stumbling on the fat fly walking on the dirty window, Tanya stopped, turned him face to face, a little delayed, then strangely smiled and gently whispered to his ear:

The wolf! I like you very much. Come today at 5 p.m. to the monument of Costa. We walk...

From the suggestion and intimate whisper, Vova barely blurred his mind: it darkened in his eyes, and his legs betrayed, which made him uncomfortable to sit down.

Satisfied with the effect produced, Tanya amusedly blinked to him, whispered hundreds of crystal bells throughout the corridor with her laughter and rattled into the math office.

All that day my classmate was terribly distracted.

Comrades did not notice, answered questions, and did not listen to teachers at all in the lessons and received a record three pairs for this.

But it did not upset him a drop, as all his thoughts were connected with the monument to the great Ossetian, so Costa Hetaurov, next to whom he met with the object of his worship.

Meanwhile, the subject of Vovchik's admiration told all of her girlfriends about the date with "Slonik" (so the girls called Vova among themselves because of the surprising similarity with the elephant from the cartoon "38 popcorns" - also hunted and constantly apologized).

Tanya intended to come at the appointed time to the place of the appointed date with classmates, approach the timid Slonic, make a surprised face and ask:

Did you think I would go on a date with you? ! to Then I laughed and went to the cinema with my friends.

Everyone cherished friendship with Tanya, so they kept their tongue behind their teeth, and I felt sorry for Wolfchik, and I decided to warn him:

Don’t go to the monument tonight. Danny wants to laugh at you.

How do you know about the date? Listened to? He asked scaredly.

No of course! Tanka has spread all over the school.

The wolf broke, lowered his head and spoke in his nose:

“You’re just jealous... You’re jealous that she didn’t invite you to a date. I do not believe you...

Oh and fool! I was offended and left.

By the agreed time, a whole bunch of girls headed by Tanya arranged for a huge blue tree near the monument of Costa waiting for the beloved Jigita.

Waited a long time.

The wolf did not come.

When more than an hour passed, the girls, not waiting for the object of the joke, began to break up.

The next morning, usually the cheerful most beautiful girl Tanya, with an extremely dissatisfied sight, almost ran through the corridor from the staircase to the literature office, where Volchik was already standing.

“I thought you were a normal guy, and you... and you... you were an unconscious guy! I watched you like a fool yesterday. She cried, “Wow, you are damned!

Wolfchik looked at her from under his thick eyebrows, raised his head and flegmatically replied:

I, Tanya, am not a shit. And you, Tanya, are a cowardly girl. You were going to laugh at me, but not all of your friends are like you. One of them warned me. So go away, shit, I’ll go to class.

A few days later, Tanya splashed with all her friends trying to find out the evil traitor and, of course, did not find her, and I then realized that the deceit is inherent in all people, even the elephant of the "38 papagaies".

You just have to hurt him well.

Author cinema is a kind of film that is interesting only to the authors themselves.

I went to Starbucks yesterday. The cafe itself is in quarantine, serving only drivers. I approach the window, stretch the credit card, and to me: the previous customer has already paid for you, said that he wanted to do something pleasant to a casual person. I: Then I pay for the next one in line. I left and think: like I stayed with my own, but pleasantly twice: and coffee on a slice, and did good to another :)

The first time I watched the movie "Kin-ja-ja" at 10 years old and I didn't understand anything.
The second time - at 15 years old and gushed over all these "ku", "ku", "ya-ya".
The third time - at 23 years old and surprised how sharp the social satire in this film.
I am 42 and I live in it.

Xxx: Worked in delivery, delivered pizza / sushi.

I take orders, (second order to the address, but not to the Apartment, but to the shlagbaum near the house)

The first order calls the administrator:

A: When will you arrive at the second address?

I: How do I order this, in 20 minutes, and what is it?

A: Aunt called, she is standing at the shlagbaum, waiting.

I: And what is she waiting for there? In the check it is written, come and call.

A: I don’t know, but please try faster.

I am: OK

It passes 5 minutes. The call again.

A: Call your aunt, tell her how long you will be, she called again, waiting to stand.

Oh yeah okay.

I call my aunt, I say, minutes 10-15, in response I hear why so long, I have already gone out and stand at the shlagbaum. I ignore the psychic, I say, wait.

And it started, calls every two minutes!!! I don't take the phone, I throw the first order-eat to my aunt.

I come in, the phone doesn’t stop ringing, I take the phone, I say I went in, where are you?

and...

Aunt comes out of a cottage near the shlagbaum! The guard works there.

I just fell.

She works near this rough shlagbaum, but within 20 minutes she calls me/the administrator, who stands, poor, freezes at the shlagbaum.

I don’t know what’s in the minds of such people.

(And it wasn’t long, it was delivered in less than an hour from the time of the order)



Yyy: Yeah, she was waiting for you while she was working in the bucket.

We owe everything good to the country, everything bad to the state.

The pictures decide everything.

He has appointed a new Financial Director. And it began...

Called in March and said that the orders are few and in connection with the latest events in the country and in the world it will be a long time, no premiums do not expect, the enterprise has come to difficult times.

I proved, argued that it was not necessary to do this, in large, it was about the monthly amount of 2.5 million rubles. I was twice warned that I would be fired as an employee whose opinion contradicts the founder’s.

Last words at the meeting:

"Who does not agree, I do not delay, I am ready to say goodbye to 40% of employees, this team will be enough for current orders, and there will be orders, we will recruit additional employees, Natalia Nikolaevna calculated everything."

After the last salary without a premium (which amounted to 30% of the salary) With the formulation "now difficult times, who is not satisfied, those do not hold" the people pulled for the passage - to be dismissed.

I report daily that the situation is ugly, when setting a good order, no one will do the job, specialists leave, with experience from 3 to 15 years. I offer to pay the premium for April and May, forming as a quarterly.

Answer: “Don’t panic, everyone will not be fired, stop working as a trade union worker, go to work. We have a monthly savings of 2.5-3 million.”

Today the meeting, calls the Director General, pleased:

- The factory won the tender for 600 mults, from tomorrow, organize work around the clock, the deadlines are shortened, until July 15, the order must be given.

I answered:

24-hour work is not possible, 25% of employees have been dismissed, and this is 60 employees. Order will not be completed before September.

Reported to the founder.

Tomorrow the founder calls for an extended meeting, the agenda "The reason for the flow of personnel in production, what was done so that employees did not resign."

The African-American community so relentlessly rose on the robberies as a result of a peaceful protest, which demands the police to strangle another Negro.

The president said that top managers of state corporations cannot receive less than their foreign subordinates.
What in the world is customary to earn, not to receive, for some reason no one explained to him.

There was a mayor in a small Russian town. He had connections "in the center" and rules strictly, but fairly. Most of the business was under him, but the salaries paid in time and the market, the hospital and clinics were equipped with modern equipment, and in general the man he was good and the people loved. Well, except for those who tried to “rise” out of his control. He was a tyrant and usurper.
One day, my acquaintance, a well-established capitalist financier, came to him for talks with a philanthropist. The guest heard the greatest intellectual in the crowd, which I can confirm from the standing side - Brodsky and Galich read by the mouth uncomfortable, and the history of South America, for example, knows from ancient times with all the dates. He is engaged in trade in gas and oil futures. Just a hobby.
After long negotiations and subsequent influences, the mayor and the guest argued about the level of training of teaching staff in the best school of the city. The dispute came out tough - the guest claimed that the children are taught here by complete ignorants, the mayor defended his wall. As a result, the guest proposed to conduct an experiment. If the teachers pass it (at least half) - the mayor pays for it, if they do not pass - the guest pays.
The next day in the school is arranged a council, from which alternately teachers are introduced to the office, where the mayor and the guest sit. The essence of the experiment is simple and similar to the game become a millionaire in a simplified version:
Each teacher is asked 3 questions on deep knowledge of the subject taught (of course, outside the scope of the school program), 1 correct answer - 500 euros, 2- 2000 euros, 3 answers - 5000 euros (for the city this is the annual salary of a fully loaded teacher). Sometimes questions with options. Everyone was involved, including the director of the school.
Example of a question for a teacher of literature: Name the date of the first edition of Pasternak's novel "Doctor Zhivago" or the country in which it was published. (Unfortunately, the answer was unsuccessful)
Results - the mayor lost, 70% did not answer a single question, and only a couple of people on 2 questions. But! One young teacher (programming) answered all three questions. The next day, the mayor recruited a guest (who had already left the capital) and told him that the programmer had divided the money received on all the teachers so that there was no envy. In the end, they and the guest decided to secretly give him another 5,000. A good man, he will go far.

Self-isolation and masks are cancelled. The country has made amendments.

When the Russians will be behind the Russians, and they will begin to solve their problems. As taxi drivers, we know how to run the country, but we can do nothing in our lives.

YYY: And in Russia in general for the soul we live, in fact we have a normal country.

I went to the band with my family on the weekend. We walk in the ranks, as suddenly comes a drunk uncle. Then D is Uncle, I am I.

D: Good morning I see you guys think... Help choose wine for my lady.

I: Well, let me help...what does she love?

D: Sweet and delicious.

I ran by looking at the label, noticed one, seemed to have tried *

I: Behold this one. It seemed like nothing... And the stock on it was 400 r, instead of 600.

D: What if it is?

I get a bottle for 700 rubles.

Noah, it is more expensive.

D: The price doesn’t matter. This is my lady! ☝ and️

If so, take it, of course.



So we separated. He’s at the box and we’re 15 minutes away from the store.



At the exit, after the cash, he stood with a guard and two policemen. The guard shakes the bottle for 700 p. and asks the fig you want to steal it?

And my uncle just raised his hands 🤷♂️



The price, he says, does not matter. ☝️*