People just pretend they need an interlocutor. They really need an audience.

On the weekend, we went away from home. In the morning, a call from a neighbor: guard, you are flooding us, immediately turn off the water. Abzaz, no one at home, we are all in the country and 2 hours drive to the city. I panicked to collect things and drive home and here my 8-year-old daughter asks: daddy, and who called, I say that Masha called from the 11th floor (so she is recorded in my phone) and I need to go home urgently from the flood to save. I stopped the question of the child; Dad, can we pour the 11th floor, we live on the 10th floor? The curtain.

Re-called Mashe, it turned out that she called everyone with a neighbor's note, not knowing who was lower, who was higher.

Judging by the advertising of new amendments, we have lived for 30 years under the Pidor constitution in a blue country.

Think about how little a person needs for moral satisfaction, for recognition, for a good mood. In my case, I missed my partner. I was happy to communicate with her, a spectacular girl, smart, fun, ideal would say many. We talked to her for a long time, more than a year, work, all business before she began to show interest in me. But work is work, we communicated more with it than I did with my regular girlfriend, with whom I lived for almost five years.

Five years was a long time, and I felt like I started to get tired and tired for a long time, everyday life was like that. There I did not wash the dishes, there I did not clean my socks, the fifth tenth negative accumulated, from her side, from mine and sometimes gave way to scandals, mostly from my side. I felt that I was tired and tired very much, the schedule work, the house oppressed. By the way, my girlfriend was working at home and it was even harder for her than it was for me to go to work every day. Well, she could not just sit down and work, she will see my socks on the floor, immediately went to remove it, the plate was not washed, go here, the feather and the sponge is waiting for you. There is something to go crazy about.

And I have a nymph here at work, who laughs at my jokes, discusses any issues with me, is not angry at nothing, and is also free, well, I and the stream.

Why did I call the post “One Kiss,” you ask? Yes, because, in essence, it is one movement, a manifestation of emotions, a kiss it is friendly, romantic, loving, but it can ruin the relationships that we have built for years. In my case, he was outspoken.

One day, we gathered for a corporate, most likely my girlfriend had already guessed that I already had someone else or clinging, but she could not prove it. I’ve never passworded the phone or VC and I’m not a big fan of messaging to find out the relationship.

And here at the corporation, this girl and I got drunk and she made it clear to me that everything is going to happen now, let’s go and I’ll be yours, kiss me and let’s go. Somewhere in the middle of the kiss, I remembered my girlfriend’s eyes and realized that I couldn’t just take five years of my life. As if it didn’t sound pathetic, I stopped kissing, apologized and left. I couldn’t destroy everything that we just built together for years. I apologized and left.

After, I sat down on the bench for a long time drinking beer, with my friend’s favorite flowers. I was ashamed, I realized everything, I remembered that I banally didn't even embrace her when I came from work, that I was angry at the stuff because of the same socks, well what it is worth removing them, if you think so, that I went with friends to squeeze, and she was waiting for me always, in any condition, in general, I remembered everything and realized that I wasn't such a gold.

Now my girlfriend, I have a wife and I tell her every day that I love her.

And I remember that kiss, as he scratched me and almost ruined everything.

It was long ago. At that time I worked as a master in the installation of plastic windows. And little by little, with a paycheck, I put in my three-room apartment one window a month. Then there was a boom on these windows, people installed these beautiful white windows in exchange for the forever blowing winter, wooden. I lived in Kazakhstan. In a small town in the Karaganda region. On the outskirts in the new district according to the standards of the rest of the city. Behind the window was already a forest strip and an endless steppe.

On another usual day waking up in the morning, I felt a rolling nausea and a sluggish feeling. I immediately realized that working with such a tone would be tough. He took his button Siemens and picked Paške. Paška was also a master of installation, and with understanding agreed to replace me, giving me a little sick at home.

I took my computer and ran into the kitchen, decided to make a toast with tea. He loved to smell the oil on the bread baked in the toaster, which melted and gave the toast an excellent taste. After dropping the bread into the toaster and putting the tea on the plate, he broke and sat down at the computer.

After 15 minutes, I heard a fire from a distance. He quickly broke into the kitchen, and sheaam... Nothing is visible and smells badly of burned bread under the sounds of boiling water in the teaker. Having sown on the floor according to all the laws of physics, understanding that the floor smoke is less and you can breathe more freely, he broke through the socket and turned off the toaster from power. (I completely forgot that a couple of days ago the toaster apparently broke and stopped automatically after the specified time to turn off, raising the mechanism with the pancakes up)

The window in the kitchen I have not yet changed to plastic, on the street minus 30, on the window ice even from the side of the apartment. I tried to open it for two minutes, it finally succeeded and the fork opened. I immediately sat down again closer to the floor, breathing a lot of fire and swing to the plate, turning off the tea.

I hear, straight like it seems, in the distance, a scream of “help.” I thought, an-no, again a whispering voice “help.” I quickly stood up and looked out the window, and there through the butterfly I saw two heads rolling from below and shouting for help.

Maybe a week ago, under my window, the tractor dug up a large pit, made heating pipes...well how did they do, knocked the wooden cliffs into the hole of the pipes and left without buriing the pit (how often it happened to us in those years) Naturally it filled with water and after the frost, naturally covered with ice. And naturally, a couple of friends of 7 or 8 years, walking around the house, decided to test the ice for strength, not knowing the consequences.

In general, seeing these little boys, I no longer remember what happened, in a moment I was barefoot in home shirts and a jacket near the pit, the winter children's clothes absorbed the water and it was very difficult to get them. But I got them, they are standing roaring in two throats, and I am on them like roaring, say, quickly run home. They ran away crying.

I went home and fell on day 3 with a fever. The father of one of the boys came to me, in a police uniform, saying that he did not even know how to thank for the saved life of his son. But I turned away, saying that everyone in my place would have done so.

So I then analyzed the situation and realized that if I did not get sick, I would go to work, I would not help the children, and if the toaster was right, I would not open the window and hear them.

I think everything in our world has its purpose, even the nameless stone behind a lonely hill, the toaster, and of course every person.



by PS. Children who helped in that difficult moment, if you read, then good for you and health.

xxx: My mother is named Lyudmila and my father is Vladimir. My grandmother was called Lyudmila, and my grandfather Vladimir. Our neighbor’s name is Lyudmila and her husband is Vladimir!

By the time I was three years old, I had no contact with other people. I was sure that all the grown-up aunts are named Lyudmila and uncle Vladimir. And my name is Asya, but I will grow up and become Ludmila.

Yyy: I was absolutely sure that in any kindergarten, in any group, there must be 2 Dim. Thus e. Me and the other boy. Everyone else with other names. And when my mom and I moved, in the new kindergarten I met everyone and immediately asked, "who is your second Dima?“Well, I’ve been shown that this guy is Dima. That confirmed my theory.

In Sberra introduced a robot, which accepts calls and is very unwilling to switch to the operator. I said I understood that you need an operator, but let me answer... Yesterday I called for a fraud attempt, our intellectual duel lasted for three or four minutes.

Connect with the operator.

Do you have a question about the map?

Connect with the operator.

Ask me, I can help you.

Connect with the operator.

In the end, she gave up.

Ask me if I can’t answer your question, I’ll switch to the operator.

Well, I had to start with that.

What is the half-life of radium?

I contacted a specialist...

I was walking with my girlfriend when a guy whispered behind her and said, “Excellent ass.” She was really upset and wanted me to answer. So I turned around and said, “Thank you, I’m doing the seats.”

We had a boyfriend, and he was ugly. It really does not coincide with the appearance: earring, teeth rotten in different directions, dull, untouched all some in general. Strange but not stupid.  He cried hard, too. The glasses were worn by a-la engineer Lapenko. But at the same time he had a big heart, which was always occupied by a beautiful princess. The princesses, clear foam, rattled and swept this hamadril into the forest.



And I decided to take him. I say, Andrew, you are not hopeless. At least you do not smell and your clothes are normal. You are normal in communication. Learn to wash your head more often. Go to the dentist. Change your stupid glasses for more stylish. Change the hair. Try to cure your pimples... you are only twenty years old, pimples! You look like grandfather. What a girl will look at you!! to



In general, I taunted him for a couple of months with my unsolicited advice, and then our ways somehow split.

Ten years have passed and here I meet Andrew!



(I would like to describe here how beautiful he became, but sadly).

The same glasses, unwashed head, rotten teeth... well, in addition to a brush.

Indeed, every one of them is an evil buratino.

In the morning – money, in the evening – chairs. The whole day is exciting.

Cock Serega on our steam ship did not tell his wife Lucy that he was a ship cook. The "marine of overseas navigation" she was quite pleased with and she did not show further curiosity.
Once, in the pre-New Year mess, the dispatcher port put our ship on the Sea. The station has almost free passage to the shore.
Seregina’s wife came to visit her husband on a steam boat, where she struck him nose to nose. He was in a high crimped cap and a cooking white jacket. Having seen her husband, Lucia was amazed, for a moment shakenly silent and, having translated the spirit, asked, "Do you know how to cook?"

When they came for the African Americans, I didn’t tolerate it, even though I wasn’t an African American! I was outraged, I went out to protest! I knew that otherwise, when they came after me, no one would be upset!
And we won! We put the police in place! The police had to leave!
And then, when the Negroes came for me, there was no one to protect me.

I have a friend, engaged in repairs, finishing works, his own brigade, he is a commander in it. How then he went out on a good facility, earned good money, sold an old car and bought a Lexus (470 like, I am not very familiar with the brands). And then the customers cut off. He comes to Lexus, communicates, makes an estimate, and the client refuses after a couple of days. Suspicious of the wrong, took Chevrolet old father to the next meeting, the client gave his consent. Repeated with another client, they also agreed to work. I bought an old carpet and the work went. And on Lexus for fishing, and to the village to relatives chases. Those are happy, you can not walk to the tombs, a lot of old people can be placed in Lexus.

And all why? Once Lexus is at a simple run, it means that he steals money from customers and takes expensive work. This is psychology.

I recently got a call from my classmate with whom we are friends. He says we need to swallow. I feel the voice depressed. I'm trying to find out what happened, he says we'll meet and tell you.

He abandoned his girlfriend. Now the details.

My friend has always been thick and modest. You will tell him at 2 p.m. to come and take the couch and he will not be able to refuse. In the last two years he has lost weight. Enrolled in the pool, proper nutrition, etc. He became a female favorite. Before that he had no relationship, and then the girls themselves began to meet him. I lived with one beauty. In communication, she is such an outcast child, like she is a princess and she owes everything to her. I worked in an office as an accountant.

And a friend earned well, well straight much above the average. I filmed a house in the suburbs. The girl has been fired over time, well, the guy is earning well. And he was not against. She paid her beauty salons, yoga well in general a full set. Well, then the coronavirus, the income fell and he hinted to her that it was time for her to find some work. She stood in the position "you are a man, earn more, and in general you owe it." And when he told her that he had no money to call the master to the house, she threw him a scandal with beating dishes and hysterics.

As I said earlier, he was removing the house and parallel to the original. And where the month before the scandal bought an apartment and did repairs there, imported furniture. The girl didn’t know about it, he wanted to make a surprise. The lease contract lasted until the end of July. And here he collects all the things in silence and leaves at sunset, leaving a note that they are separating and if you want you can continue to live in this house, but from July you pay yourself, the owners do not mind.

How she bombarded (laid to listen to voice messages), and about the small member said and in general that he is a loser in life and much more. And now apparently realizing that soon her boyfriend is out on the street trying to get along with him again. But a friend firmly decided that it was better to be alone than with her.

Cock Serega on our steam ship did not tell his wife Lucy that he was a ship cook. The "marine of overseas navigation" she was quite pleased with and she did not show further curiosity.

Once, in the pre-New Year mess, the dispatcher port put our ship on the Sea. The station has almost free passage to the shore.

Seregina’s wife came to visit her husband on a steam boat, where she struck him nose to nose. He was in a high crimped cap and a cooking white jacket. Having seen her husband, Lucia was amazed, for a moment shakenly silent and, having translated the spirit, asked, "You know how to cook? »

It was in zero. My daughter got sick and had to go to the pharmacy at night. At night, the pharmacy was trading through the window, and as I approached it, I saw a line of four or five people. He stood up for two guys of twenty years old, one of them was with a girl and unwittingly heard the dialogue of these Hussars.

1) How much will you take?

Well, Olya and I will have enough for six a night.

“Aha,” I thought, deciding that it was a prejudice, and I rejoiced for this guy and his Olya.

2) How much will you get?

Well, I’ll be with Lenka, and we’ll need a dozen.

“Damn to yourself! This is a party, this is Lenka,” I thought and tried to remember if such a night happened to me.

And here is his turn and he broadcasts to the pharmacy ambrasure:

Sell me the warrior. Ten of things.

and.

and.

Nubia... How is it?

Constitution of the...

A bit of racism.

If suddenly all the black population, regardless of age and gender, leaves the country:
The population of the United States will decrease by 11.3 percent.
The number of employees will decrease by 1.4%;
The number of prisoners will be reduced by 48%.
The number of gangs and other criminal groups will be reduced by 53%.
The country’s average IQ will rise by 7.4%, putting the U.S. on the third place in the world, alongside Japan.
The average SAT score (2016) will rise to 1100 points (currently it is 1000);
The number of AIDS patients will be reduced by 65%.
The number of chlamydia patients will decrease by 59%.
The number of patients with gonorrhea will decrease by 69%.
The number of patients with syphilis will decrease by 57%.
The average annual income in the country will rise by more than $20,000;
The number of people living in poverty will decrease by 54%.
The number of homeless people will be reduced by 65%.
The number of welfare recipients will decrease by 52%.
The U.S. Democratic Party will lose 26% of its voters.
by Alina Zagorski

People live as if they had a second life: not drinking, not smoking, having children, working on three jobs.

I don’t understand where all Schwartz, Van Damme, Stallone, Bruce, Chuck Norris, Lundgren are?
Why doesn’t anyone save America?