bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №110929
 20.03.2015
The little girl brushes her teeth and quietly whispers and even tires a little: Dr. Dr. Burn! Dr. Dr. Burn it up! Because any fool is clear: all normal people have toothbrushes! And only her, the little girl, the sunburn was offended. Lack of shrinkage.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №110928
 20.03.2015
Yesterday I saw a huge red cockroach in the kitchen.
Buy a pencil from the cockroaches.
I read that cockroaches are afraid of gadgets.
No, we won’t buy you a plan!

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №110927
 20.03.2015
yyy March 2015 at 17:24#
The last time we had no problems looking through the disc, but then it was the hour of night, not noon.
xxx March 2015 at 17:33#
At the hour of the night! Watching a solar eclipse? Why do you need a disc? The sun at this time (and every night) perfectly eclipses this... Like her there... Planet Earth :)

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №110926
 20.03.2015
You have black people hanging!
What about Obama?
He is hanging!

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №110925
 20.03.2015
How is it at work?
Like a cabbage, under the nest.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №110924
 20.03.2015
XXX: Give me a method
YYY: No
XXX: I was not.
YYY: Is it now called that? You and his friends are almost in the wing.
This is your problem, man.
XXX: The Rough (
YYY: Now it’s your problem, man.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №110923
 20.03.2015
I want to work as a designer. The wicked, unexpected harsh designer! Not as a girl manager.
And when you can’t wear jeans, you won’t wear a mint sweater. You wear a scratched shirt, it has to pick up a blouse. Still painting and shaving. This makes me sleep a half hour less. And I look even more angry, sleepy and harsh designers, but dressed and painted like a girl manager! And with jeans it was easier: I stretched what was rolling on the chair and went.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №110922
 19.03.2015
Upon the next confrontation between Ukrainians and Russians, on the theme of historical roots and succession, in particular the Crimean land, he met this in comments:

lolololo28: HAHAHAHA Russia was Kiev. Kyiv Rus, not Moscow Rus Kyiv Rus Kyiv Rus Kyiv Rus Kyiv Rus
This hole is broken, bring a new one!

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №110921
 19.03.2015
The inscription in the aircraft carrier’s gallion: “Whoever did not sit is a loch.”

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №110920
 19.03.2015
xy1 :
Tell me a song
Something like "eachan givi"

by xy2:
New York - "Hands up"
But not "your heart give me", but "your heart give me".

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №110919
 19.03.2015
S. MI honestly don’t understand why EVERYTHING should be watching on the screen, and even voluntarily.
Sergey: Some of my acquaintances explain this by the fact that the vision is bad, the difference is still not visible)))

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №110918
 19.03.2015
Under common sense, each person has his own meaning. V. Keychevsky

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №110917
 19.03.2015
Advertising in the contact group:
Has anyone found the keys with the opening barrel? Now not only can I not open the apartment, but also beer.

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №110916
 19.03.2015
I finally bought the plates. Now I can eat a rollon not from a bowl. Just like a real man!

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №110915
 19.03.2015
There are two problems in Russia: managers and infrastructure.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №110914
 19.03.2015
The new chief is a former military. A person in general is very stupid, but to get used to the absence of a civil charter, which would regulate every joke, can not. We had a mini-war of worlds.

Each employee has two folders on the desk - one for reference information (telephone numbers, lists of employees responsible for this, etc.).Another for documents on current tasks (contracts, plans, etc.). Here he suddenly insisted that the folder with reference information should be red, and with documents - green. Whoever is wrong, is working wrong. I work most incorrectly because I have one blue folder, the other violet. No, the result of the work he likes, but I’m working wrong, because the folders must be one red, the other green. We agreed before that if we find such an instruction in any instructions, I will change the folders.

Comrade Colonel spent half a day in the official instructions, nothing like that there, of course, found. He this literally:

Okay, you can do what you want. But you’re still doing the wrong thing, even if it’s good.

[ + 14 - ] Comment quote №110913
 19.03.2015
Six years ago I came to our library and, clapping my eyelids, said to the local resident “I need Ada Nabokova.” I was strangely looked at and said "We have no such author".

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №110912
 19.03.2015
Waste on the streets:
Citizens, I don’t understand – do you live in your city or do you occupy it? Do you like to watch the rubbish and rotten paper in your yard? Isn’t it your dogs running through the glass from broken bottles? Isn’t it that you’re crawling in the shit from the neighbor’s dog (of course, your dog isn’t like that, she’s full of violets!)? If it is your entrance, your yard, your city, what interest do you waste in it?
Here is such a piece of rhetorical questions I once handed out to my older sister, discussing the fairness of the proverb “the spring will show who where the shit.” She looked at me with the eyes of a wise adult woman and replied, “I was in the houses of such people. There’s more crap than on the street. If a man is born of cattle and grew up among cattle, he will no longer be a man.
So, dear fellow citizens, if we want cleanliness, we will clean "for ourselves and for that guy". Welcome to the shit life.
P.S On the way from work, half-empty urns stand through every fifty steps. The edge is uniformly filled with bulls, bags of chips and so on. Skotina doesn’t think about cleanliness, she thinks only about herself.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №110911
 19.03.2015
A long dispute.

XX: Any idea can be destroyed by implementation.
YYY: The idea of sending out natural needs is difficult to dispel by implementation.
Zzz: Tell this to the pigeon who spit on your head.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №110910
 19.03.2015
The best dress code in Yandex, if you didn’t know. It is formulated as follows: "You must come to work dressed".

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