bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №109589
 19.02.2015
I have a contradiction in my eyes:
We don’t like the “brunny” and the “martian stars” in bed, but if you bind, tie and even shut your mouth, it’s very even.
? to

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №109588
 19.02.2015
xxx: I usually broadcast that when same-sex marriages are allowed, I will register a relationship with my friend. we will have a beautiful family, always comfortable in the house and we will have the same interests with her - you can walk on men )))))))

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №109587
 19.02.2015
Today I was in the ZUPE in Krolovo, told how they put 300 uninterruptors. They were in a separate room, a company came to install. I started testing, testing something. On the second day, they almost fainted when instead of a salutation they heard "Boys, if you didn't write in the instructions, you can't connect the input power plug with the output, we would probably never try it!" I will immediately say the result is unknown.

[ + 17 - ] Comment quote №109586
 19.02.2015
OlegMax February 18, 2015 at 10:53 #
And you can also build a time machine, go back to 1995, introduce Rasmus Lerdorf to a girl and, thus, save the world from PHP.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №109585
 19.02.2015
Comment on the video showing how the world is perceived by schizophrenians:
I watched the video: a normal day, as I usually do.
Stand up... no...

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №109584
 19.02.2015
"With work experience, with work experience..." Lies is everything. Let me reveal a professional secret: we need to do our own business. Like everyone, in any case. And the phrase about "experience" is a type of code. You can not say to the candidate - "YES, you are also DNIWE EBANOE, five years lost in the dota, downloading references in the internet, and why you pay a salary - for the fact that you know how to tap into the search for a Google topic that you will be told? They know the code word and immediately begin to tell about their work at the department (and what kind of shit without working at the department during their studies? Each technician spied at least a couple of stands, each proger dropped at least some utility on the water, etc. D is By the way a person tells in detail about his accomplishments, his abilities are immediately visible. If a person has done something real, the chance of passing is 90%. The remaining 10% fall to those who even tried to do IBD at the department.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №109583
 18.02.2015
A teacher from the Colombian city of Bogotá changed her name and surname to a sequence of letters of the English alphabet, reports the portal Events.ru.
The woman took two years to obtain that right. Now the 36-year-old teacher is called Abcdefg Hijklmn Opqrst Uvwxyz.
_____
Now she has no problems with logins and passwords...)))

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №109582
 18.02.2015
At one of the American forums, a lady asked:
“I am a beautiful, fun, smart girl. I want to marry a guy who earns at least $500,000 a year.
One of the young financiers did not let go of answering her in essence:
I read your post with great interest. This is how I see it all.
Your offer from the point of view of a guy like me is definitely a bad deal, and here’s why. In short, you offer your beauty in exchange for my money. It is beautiful. But after all, your beauty will diminish, and my capital will only grow. Of course, the likelihood of increasing my capital can be questioned, but you will definitely not be more beautiful!
So in the language of economics, you are a depreciating asset, and I am a revenue asset. But you are not just a depreciating asset: your value is falling faster and faster, in 10 years no one will look at you. Buying you (what you are asking for) is a bad business, so I’d better rent you.
If my words seem cruel to you, think that if my money disappears, you will do the same. So, for fairness, when your beauty goes away, I’ll need to get rid of that asset. It is very simple. So the deal that makes sense to me is a date, not a wedding.
I hope I helped you.
Yes, if you are willing to discuss rental options, let me know!” (c)

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №109581
 18.02.2015
and Nassau:
I'm now making Chinese composition propositions, but I have a small vocabulary, so I get something like this:
Are you a Chinese teacher?
I am a big white dragon. and RAAR!

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №109580
 18.02.2015
And, in general, I will honestly say: I am an undistorted person, but to read a book where one of the main characters is called Zophilus, it is very difficult >_<

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №109579
 18.02.2015
>> And what, this young man wants to say he never masturbates?

No is. This young man doesn’t want to say he’s masturbating. Feel the difference.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №109578
 18.02.2015
here here :
This
-
I am in the same bed with a girl. There is no sex, justified by the fact that today "I am not ready". The girl offered to meet, she offered to stay overnight. I only know the girl for a few hours. The feeling that she didn’t have a foolish place to spend the night...
-
Never ever! Never go to bed with a girl you don’t have sex with.
-
What is wrong? He hugged, made his legs a stalk, pressed his back to him, calmly breathed her in the cheek and - sleep! Not because you want to fuck her, but because she wants to sleep! The same for you!
"Prenovate" - this means, precisely: "Prenovate".
And if you’re going to fuck, it’s called "She offered to fuck".

P.S One day, in the community, I had to depict a "rough man": the girls told each other all sorts of horrors at night. Then they came to us in the room and demanded a man who would sleep and not reach out. :))) Commonwealth, 1991, room for 6 girls, early in the morning, the girl goes to the toilet and sneezes at me - shaking on the carpet in front of the door" :)))
All of you BOBRA :)

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №109577
 18.02.2015
x - I am going to work like this today past the surgery of Vishnevsky... The sunshine shines, everything is fine, the charge of bitterness from the morning, the weekend succeeded. This same edge of the eye catches me - the tomb, 500 r / day and the phone from below.
Y - Uppur, did you call?
x - laugh-laugh... the course of my thoughts: "The doctors were completely squeezed...it is not black humor anymore, it is cynicism!... And in general, it is funny - almost 200 thousand a year and you live in a cave.. vampires, mla, reviewed..." I go on - "Yes, no. Well, someone has begun... no, no, it can’t be! Or maybe? No is no! You guys, are you completely squeezed? Stop the planet, I’ll come down!"
and :DDDD
x - had to run back... it turned out "hotel" =/

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №109576
 18.02.2015
I am 33, I have an apartment, 2 cars, I look after myself. And I don’t like when they see only that in me, not education, education, and talent. And the dogs who hunt for the house and the bubble I cut off. I do not run for women, I do not feel a lack of attention. Friends come by themselves. I choose younger and better. And I treat the girls worthy of that, well. They respond with reciprocity.
People, first of all - respect your partner for his moral and ethical qualities, not for a puppy and you will be happy!
= is
Someone you are not very educated, judging by the text. This is once. And how you, choosing girls younger and more constructive, "respect your partner for moral and ethical qualities" are two.
The rest to write.

[ + 30 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №109575
 18.02.2015
As a child, when I watched the first two parts of Aliens, I was most concerned about the cat Jones.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №109574
 18.02.2015
XXX: Look at her picture! The dress is red, the nails are red, the bag and shoes are red. All in one style.
YYY : YYYYYYY I will not clean my red eyes. Let it all be in the same style! 😉

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №109573
 18.02.2015
Recently I read about a small social experiment...A group of men and a group of women on the Men’s Island quickly decided who was doing what.
At the same time, everything was sad on the female island.
The lie! If you specifically select independent wristed men (with an instrument) and glamour, then yes. Psychologically speaking, it is a lie. Just as women are more socialized and who does what they decide instantly, and if there are no men - nothing to share, very even live friendly. If the men went to war with another tribe or the elephant to harvest, all the women lay down and died? Figo with Mac! Do not wait! Shalash any grandmother will swear, and will find food, and will feed the man. If the elephants didn’t get...and they didn’t often get...

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №109572
 18.02.2015
xxx: in contact went to the list of friends - there once added the ability to create lists. Well, I tried it once - I have a group of "Dolboobiki" - I thought it was just an info for me and added some. There is no one in her anymore...

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №109571
 18.02.2015
In the end, without buying anything, I lived more than two months dumb on the remains.
Ready for the apocalypse.

Is this a man’s logic? Scuco, these were not residues, but stocks! Moreover, most likely, well-thought-out inventories, from which you could have a thousand dishes cooked, the case "salary is delayed, and you need to eat". Essentially cheaper would be at least simple food, but cooking. It is not foolish to devour the whole warehouse, like a frog, so that the wife, moaning, fills it again.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №109570
 18.02.2015
Keep this rose and give it to someone you love.

Maybe I’ll leave it to myself.

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