bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №105069
 06.11.2014
XXX: How much is done?
yyy: 18))
You can do anything today ?
This is the meaningful day when you can no longer kill people :(

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №105068
 06.11.2014
Did you serve in the army?
and served.
He served in the intelligence?
In the intelligence.
Did he know how to throw knives?
Skilled
Why have a knife if there is a gun with an extinguisher?
After the battle, you will not cut the sausage with a gun.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №105067
 06.11.2014
A bunch of names

He wrote the function, according to FIO calculates gender and belonging to the jur / fis person. It is convenient to select when the list comes [FIFO / name of the organization] [phone]. Pumped reference books of names (26 000 approximately, among other things, analysis of the end of the surname, and so on. It is 96-98 percent.
I am proud.
I was proud, that is, until the list came from Primorye...

They are all Chinese :)
"To That U" - who is this boy/girlfriend? and :)
Honey is a person (there is a reference to his statement from which it can be understood), but my function has clearly determined that it is a legal person (probably an individual entrepreneur trading honey 6))

Such things are everywhere, of course, 2-4% of mistakes have always been. But in Primorye, I had a full... ~ 25% marriage


[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №105066
 05.11.2014
From Facebook:

The question of cultural contexts.
The command word when Russification of automatic assistants Google and Apple should not be “Okay”, but “Fuck”: “Fuck! by Google! Show me the dragon roll!”
Everything immediately comes to its place.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №105065
 05.11.2014
From Habr:
XX: Usually, the keyboard is quite heavy.
YYY: This is not a minus for everyone. A heavy keyboard, for example, is much less on the table, and it is much more convenient to hit the face.

[ + 38 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №105064
 05.11.2014
Answer to: Where to go, for example, to the population of the village of Zhukop of the Penovsky district of the Tverska province after the closure of the woodplate...

1st Stop blaming and blaming others.
2nd If the logger was closed, the equipment and structures remained in place... We apply the old good way to get the initial capital – we throw metal and build materials, we drive it all at a similar price.
Three But here is the novelty - we don't account for the earning grandmothers!!! to
4 is From the remains of boards and etc. we build barracks, on the first babies we buy pigs, chickens or calves (who likes it).
5 is We grow all this vitality all summer, from dawn to dawn without laying hands... and not talking!!! (You can co-operate with a non-drinking neighbor.)
6 is In autumn, kill the grown herd, most of the meat to sell, the rest to feed yourself in the winter.
City people with great pleasure take good fresh meat at a similar price, you can negotiate with acquaintances in advance.
7 is In the winter, we don’t pay for money!! to
8 is In the spring we repeat p 4-6.

The recipe is working, I know at least 10 men (in different deaf villages) who have been feeding in this way for many years... They grow from 10 to 200 heads and do not blow in the mouth!

All good luck!

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №105063
 05.11.2014
From a short quote:

Rising from the knees, Russia dropped the ruble.


[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №105062
 05.11.2014
I have become a provider :-)
I put a servacle, connected to it an access point unparalleled, I give free Inet to those who want :-)
Gorbachev: tough
Can you get closer to me? I have a big problem with this in the hospital.
The access point is called Free WiFi from ZyXEL U-1496E+ and has a speed limit of 14,400 bytes. Back to the end of the 90s! Oh yeah! I could only dream of that!
Gorbow: I don’t have to give anything. The Jewish Internet ?

[ + 24 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №105061
 05.11.2014
I understand that we have a lack of chats on the internet. What, his mother, for fashion took in dialogues here to enter? No matter what the site was created for this, I will go here to raise the mood for myself, rather than re-read your discussions 10 times. Gathered here scientists crazy, in the universities, show your knowledge (no matter what topics) and not here.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №105060
 05.11.2014
From Zems

I go to the boss, shake my foot and say:
I want a weekend!!! to
- You can't - he says - or no one will work.
And I tell him: by law, it’s a weekend! Why do we not have them?! to
He said, “I didn’t invent it.
Here comes Alexandra, my assistant:
Alexey, what are you doing?
Weekends with the boss.
Alexey, you are the boss. And the development manager, and the CEO and the only founder. Go away from the mirror, I have to shave.

In short, if I understand everything right, there will not be a weekend...

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №105059
 05.11.2014
Skomoroh100: And we were taught. When you go out on the road, look to the left... and then to the right.

SocketP: This is no longer relevant. Now going out on the road - look in all directions at the same time and walk, like a mine field.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №105058
 05.11.2014
The girlfriend is cared for by two representative Americans in Moscow, the process of selection is going on:
MV: You understand, one is low and the other is high, with one I can't wear heels, and with the second I only have to walk on them!
November: so what did you set up, one low, the other high, what in your understanding is low, and what is high?
MV: One head above Obama, and the other head below Obama.
November: Do you now measure Americans in Obama?

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №105057
 05.11.2014
Found in the airport:

Announcement: I am selling a cat. Kakaet everywhere, go out on the street and there Kakaet, sleep Kakaet, Perdit constantly bored already or exchange for a magnetol.

O_O

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №105056
 05.11.2014
Today I realized that you should not hope for a miracle when buying a shampoo for hair growth. Only the remaining hair grows faster.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №105055
 05.11.2014
Did someone take anything from you personally?
Why did I have colleagues who opened cafes, dance studios, internet projects and still are all alive, healthy, do not swim in gold, but there is enough bread with oil?
Why is there a well-known IT community on the letter X, where people often publish stories of their success / failure, but at the same time none of them have taken anything out with properly drafted contracts?
Why is there also the same community on the letter X, a search engine on the letter I, an antivirus? Why are there thousands of companies that make profits and no one takes them away?

My parents were taken away. The acquaintance of his father wanted to put him in jail, but when he began to resist decided to kill him. He currently lives in Canada. A friend's father agreed to give up the business and revenged from the deadline. Running a long time. Uncle lives in NY because in the 90s he traded auto parts very well.
On the resource X is a non-representative sample. You only see successful projects. By your logic, you can say that anyone can become a billionaire, because in the Forbes of hundreds of them.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №105054
 05.11.2014
Have you heard of geocaching?

xxx: the people lay a hole, leaving coordinates and marks to find the hiding place, and then those who want to take the hiding place, if they want to leave there something of their own.

YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY Something was so. A taxi driver told me what the drug addicts are doing. They pay money through the internet, and then go to get their portion out of the bucket.

[ + 20 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №105053
 05.11.2014
Americans and Europeans are probably now biting their elbows: was it hard to send humanitarian aid to Mordor when he was hungry in the early 1990s? You see, there would now be five or six decent European countries...

What kind of humanitarian? Did Wikipedia tell you?
— — —
This was told to me by the Italian sauce, French baby food, and American corns.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №105052
 05.11.2014
In the cup:

I can’t have a companion with him. He is such a true lover that, as the classic said, the truth cuts the uterus in the eye. It is unpleasant to me. Here is.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №105051
 05.11.2014
The difference.

What is the difference between shit and shit?
The caliber.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №105050
 05.11.2014
comment to the article "How to recognize a beaten machine" about what you need to look at gaps, places of boiling, coincidences of semi-tones of all parts
Bagurban: ah) another brother told that he was driving somehow with a friend on his car, and that all the way his car praises, brother and asked: - are you going to sell?
He says yes – not beaten, not painted!
What the brother answers - those spices that you cooked it, if the windows were closed, or around the place of welding on the glass, traces of metal drops remained...

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna