bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №105029
 05.11.2014
All of you finish!
There is a colleague, a passionate lover of home German (no fast food, and sandwiches). Coffee just what he likes in the thermos wears, and definitely a thorough lunch. Well, the thing is good, good cooking is great. Today he was stuck with boiling boiling water in a bowl. Everyone who was around, knowing his attitude to “jank food,” began to whisper, such as: gave up, to borrow money? The whole head...
It was a failure: the sauce was home-made. So the stranger also bought a laundry company for this matter.
Now we pretend, maybe he is not an analyst, but a cook at work?

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №105028
 05.11.2014
Dialogue on the bus
Do you get baptized when we pass by the church?
Do you fuck my faith?

Orthodoxy, cruel and merciless

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №105027
 05.11.2014
People’s courts throughout Russia.

Without trial and investigation...without trial of witnesses...without investigation of witnesses...witnesses)))

Anonymous, you are talking about it. But when the investigation, the examinations, the trial, the witnesses and... "the innocent" with iron proofs and a bunch of witnesses because "the shark". It becomes somewhat uncomfortable. Yes, it’s a twist, but on the other side. Maybe in our lives we will get to the happy middle.
— — —
We do not get. Because we are on the wrong side. The normal law and its normal execution are not in the middle between the boundlessness of the chief and the boundlessness of the revolver. And it is quite possible that during our life (five minutes before its completion) we will have time to see that the morroworot and the sales mint perfectly agree with each other, and even easily turn into each other. Yes, at the time of the transformation they prefer more than usual to portray supporters for the people and even to gather three hundred deer to raise their hands.

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №105026
 05.11.2014
HH: Well, how did the wheels go?
Like in a mother song. "with fire and heat"
What did the fire cause?
Type of that. You should hang a poster at home: “Don’t make your wife a cuni after a portion of chili.”
XH: O_o

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №105025
 05.11.2014
Picture of coconut crab:
"I never understood who thought of this "coconut crab". In my opinion, such a creature is more suitable for the name "Forget the Terrible Hernia";

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №105024
 05.11.2014
How to teach a cat not to suck where it is not appropriate?? to
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYAnd that" is what they all do.
XXX: I don’t know who. It doesn’t run with my cat. After two such executions, he came to the conclusion that he was being tortured precisely because he was SIT in principle, not because he was hurt where he did not need to. So, now he learned to suck and immediately hide. Moreover, he is always hiding - even in the bowl, as appropriate, even on the tapes. He cries, presses his ears, and runs under the couch.
A poor animal.

[ + 21 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №105023
 04.11.2014
News: The monument to Steve Jobs was demolished in Peter because Tim Cook is gay
The comments:
Why do you write the truth? In the statement of the company ZEFS (Western European Financial Union) black on white said "The monument is removed for restoration".
and AGA. In 2013 put, and a year later - on restoration....Another would write what to change the version of IOS!!! to

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №105022
 04.11.2014
I saw with my husband a new store with stylish and inexpensive things, including for children.
I:- we found such a nice shop, now we will buy your clothes only there
Is it called 38?

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №105021
 04.11.2014
111: What is your status?
I change my grandmother-engineer for a grandmother-cooker with a surcharge.
222: And without payment no one will agree. She is proud of me that she has a higher education, the kind of smartest. In fact, 30% is bad curiosity, 30% is dumb persistence and 30% is inventive.
Add 10% to Advertising
222: The remaining 10% is in g***
222: Imagine, I pulled off with a percentage, I think, say, I want to sleep more than to eat, I will sleep for three hours, I will shake my puppets and loaf again. I cut off the cell phone, pulled out the home from the router, sent a bunch of rays of hatred to the fierce child of the neighbors from above... You won’t believe, I wake up from the doorbell. At least 10 calls to the door! The day! The fire? The flood? The neighbor is giving birth? It eats! It was my grandmother who found a neighbor’s phone, brought her a mosquito and forced me to knock on the door to transmit that I called and told my grandmother how I worked at the universe!!! to

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №105020
 04.11.2014
to this
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
I'm a bad romantic, one night I walked on the balconies to the lady in the window, broke the fork, broke the pots with flowers, awakened my dad.
had to marry.

= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =

Poor Dad...

[ + 23 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №105019
 04.11.2014
To confess to a friend that he is gay, answer "Yes, what’s the difference?!" is not the best option.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №105018
 04.11.2014
Dome is a great gift.

Especially if you work in a group. On March 8th, we will say:
Yesterday I got my perfume. I have a ring! I have a photoshop!
In the background there is such a low voice:
I am a housekeeper.

and silence...

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №105017
 04.11.2014
BlackFox: Advertising by UAZ Patriot. I quote literally: "There are still those who doubt that it is not suitable for the city! We will dispel their doubts. I thought...

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №105016
 04.11.2014
Russian imperialists are interesting people. They are like Russia with Uzbekistan and Kyrgyzstan, but without Uzbek and Kyrgyz.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №105015
 04.11.2014
My mother burned me up... she went to Moscow (we live 1000 km away) and took the keys from the garage. Calling today, I ask: Did you take the keys from the garage?
She: Yes, if I urgently need to bring in December!

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №105014
 04.11.2014
I go from the shoe shop, (I was looking for cheap high-performance shoes for the autumn breakdown) the spouse deliberately gives:

What is the difference between shit and shit?

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №105013
 04.11.2014
XXX is PPC. 21st century in the courtyard...I come home: a phone for charging, a clock for charging, an additional battery for charging, a headset for charging.
YYY: Good for you, but I still have a laptop, a tablet and a player.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №105012
 04.11.2014
In this respect, I am an aristocrat: I cannot drink one-off tea in bags or coffee three-in-one. I’m buying the most expensive tea and coffee in the grains,” she said, adding to her bread.

Doshirak is one of the most expensive pasta products in terms of money per kilogram.
Think about this when you decide to eat cheaper.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №105011
 04.11.2014
The question of child fears. In the fifth grade, my girlfriend and I read each other out loud, in turn, Aleksey Tolstoy. In the winter it dunked early. And my mother had the habit of knocking on the window to open the door in advance (we lived on the first floor). This is how to be - and the door must be opened, and the feet from fear to the floor have grown.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №105010
 04.11.2014
xxx: This is when he will be taught how to solve diffusions, it will be an occasion to start an iPhone.

Yyy: When the iPhone learns how to solve diffusion, it will need a good reason to get you.

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