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[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №153630
 19.01.2020
I had a girlfriend when I was a child. I remember that her parents bought an apartment in our house, lived a couple of years and left further, coming from time to time. My best friend and I played, read, sang, and so on. I remember their parents, they calmly left our daughter to sleep with us. In the first class, her mother asked her to leave her for a few months to live with us. My parents agreed and we lived like sisters, I was crazyly happy, I loved my girlfriend very much. My mom fed us delicious food every day, bought us the same things. They studied in one class.It was 96-97 years.In addition to her 5s, her mother took her as her 6th child.Her family came and took her. My friend's mom brought me a Barbie doll, the most ordinary, which I wasn't very happy with. I was a child then, I don’t remember anything. A year or two later, the family of friends moved to another city. About 10 years later they came back, which I was very pleased with. I remember a lot of things. We have a lot of joint photos. One day I knocked at them in the apartment, my friend opened the door. I recognized her immediately. I was so glad to see her. I wanted to greet him, to embrace him. And she didn’t recognize me, EVERYTHING (I’m still wondering, how did it happen?!(And yes, for several months of caring for her, her parents did not leave a penny, a ruble, or a box of candy to her mother. I brought a doll. I still see a girlfriend from time to time, when I come to my parents, lives there, so never remembered, and my parents do not remember, does not say hello. That was my first disappointment.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №153629
 19.01.2020
He made one “comrade” calculations on construction. He came and called 8,000. He asks why so much? I got a girl for 1,500. I wept and asked: Why did you come to me, why not to a girl? And after his answer, I was already roaring like a horse - and her calculations do not accept.

[ + 15 - ] Comment quote №153628
 19.01.2020
The revolution, of which the taxpayers always talked, has come to pass!

[ + 33 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №153627
 19.01.2020
The story took place in December 2007. My husband and I decided to go skiing to Austria for the New Year holidays. We paid for two weeks for two. I don’t remember how much it cost, but it’s not cheap, of course. The visas have already been received.
At the beginning of December, we had the opportunity to travel to London. At the time, I was working for a scientific organization that sent its employees overseas as an annual bonus. By agreement with my boss, I was able to take my husband with me.
In addition to me, two of my colleagues were driving with us. Travels to London at our office were regular, and we had a hotel where we stayed every year. It was a small hotel, the owner of which was our former compatriot of Armenian origin.
Upon arrival in Heathrow, we took a taxi and headed to the hotel. All our documents (passports with visas to Austria) and money (approximately 2 thousand. Pounds were in my bag.
When we approached the reception at our hotel, I found that my bags were not there!!!! to
When I remembered that when I was in a taxi, she was with me, it became obvious that I had forgotten her in the car. Don’t think I’m so confused. The bag was small and we had a lot of things.
I cannot describe my feelings. I stayed in London without papers. A week that was planned for rest and excursions would go on formalities for the possibility of returning home without passports. Secondly, our whole Austria was covered with a copper basin. Both the visa and the paid tour fly like a faner over Paris.
At that moment I saw nothing. But my friends said my husband scratched his teeth, but he was silent.
When I told the hotel owner about the situation, he told us not to worry that the taxi driver, as soon as he found my suitcase, would immediately bring it to the hotel. You know, none of us four believed it for a single minute.
What was our surprise when, 20-30 minutes later, a taxi arrived at the hotel, in which I left my bag, and a young guy taxi driver (Hindu by nationality) glad that he found its owners, handed it to me. He didn’t even want to take the hundred pounds my husband gave him. Naturally, we gave him them. And the owner of our hotel said it should be so!!! There could be no other option!!! to
I have never written such long stories. But to all my friends, at every opportunity, I tell this story. Let it become a story for the readers of the site!!! to

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №153626
 19.01.2020
Ataman, pianist and gymnast sit down to write the constitution.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №153625
 19.01.2020
I was the only child and often asked my parents for a brother. Parents explained – he would cry at night, you would have to share toys with him, etc. It didn’t bother me. My mom got tired and asked:

Why do you need him? ! to

But then I said what I am sometimes remembered - and, literally, until now:

We will feed him, feed him, feed him and eat him.

P. S. Brother, like my sisters, never appeared to me.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №153624
 18.01.2020
Every time a soap ended up in the bathroom (by size), I wondered: why can’t you make a soap larger?

After a while, I bought some soap. It was once in size at 2. 5 more than ordinary soap.

When he went into the shower and at this time the new soap slipped from his hands and got a corner in his foot, all the questions fell away on their own.

[ + 17 - ] Comment quote №153623
 18.01.2020
I remembered the story that happened to me almost 13 years ago, in that blessed year, in which, as Dmitry Anatolyevich claimed, no one will be able to return.

It all started with the fact that I met a girl on the plane, more precisely she was with me. The talkative neighbor in the salon suddenly showed interest in my humble person. Neutral topics, such as discussing the weather delights of the destination country, flowed smoothly into an easy and unforced talk about everything in the world. After half an hour, we seemed to have known each other for a hundred years, my eternal tightness disappeared, there were no burdensome pauses in the conversation, I was humorous like a god. I’ve never felt such an inspiration before in my life and I thought I couldn’t afford to lose a soul mate forever. We exchanged contacts and broke up at the airport.

I never decided to call, eternal shyness took over me again. Nearly a month has passed, the euphoria from the vacation quickly passed away, the gray working days were sweeping. One evening after work, my mom and I crossed in the center to eat, talk and just walk around the city. Suddenly a phone call came out. "Again spammers, who else," I thought, lazily pulling out the phone. I looked at the screen and my heart almost jumped out of my chest: IT. I shake the answer button with my hands. “Hello, do you remember me? How to rest? Are you free now? Could we meet?” A little recovering from the shock, I appoint a meeting in two hours at the exit of the nearest subway. I promptly move to the meeting place, expecting to carry my mom to the turnikets, and myself stand to listen to street musicians, the good weather allows. And suddenly like the hell from a tobacco shop from somewhere on the side flies my acquaintance, much earlier than the agreed time (Then I already found out that she has an apartment right by the subway in several stations on the same line) Do nothing, decency obliges to introduce to my mother. Naively I thought that after the exchange of kindnesses, my mother would continue her journey. But it was not here. My new girlfriend tightly takes my mom into circulation and begins to tell in detail about our acquaintance, filling with compliments to my address. He immediately suggests going for a walk together, and then sit in the cafe and talk. I don’t know why, but my mom agreed. Per it was a lot of jealousy to put a mine under my possible relationships, or maybe I’m complicating too much, and my mother, by simplicity of mind, sincerely did not realize that I have my romantic interest, and the third here is clearly superfluous.  It is now, from the height of my years, I understand that nothing terrible happened, it was necessary to behave tolerantly and protectively, like a true gentleman. And then, because of my youth and inexperience, I was completely confused and horribly ashamed of my ridiculous position, I was ready to fail through the earth. On the backdrop of my mother’s charisma and charm, I was hurt and lost. They sat in the cafe for several hours, like long-time friends, and I only smiled and cheered.

It is necessary to say that the logical outcome of this stupid date was the sentence to a lifetime friend of a strict regime. 

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №153622
 18.01.2020
The Prime Minister has fallen asleep, long live the Prime Minister!

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №153621
 18.01.2020
I study for a clinical psychologist. Once, at a personality psychology lecture, our teacher gave a cool thing: “I love watching ‘Let’s get married’. Many people say to me, say, what do you look like, a nightmare. I like it! Not a show, but a festival of pathology.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №153620
 18.01.2020
Of the Medvedev government in its place only one person - Ulukaev.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №153619
 18.01.2020
We brought ZTE, FRP account deleted. Mom and daughter, with the box all things - "that you didn't think he was stolen." Well, I’m a simple person – there’s a job, I work it. The price is announced, the price is agreed. They agreed to take it the next day. After 40 minutes, he called the hostess on the left phone number - "Everything is ready, you can take it" - "Thank you very much, tomorrow we will come in"...and it came tomorrow.

The door opens, mother and daughter come in.

Hello, what is there? Everything works?

Hello, please check it out.

M (something clicks on the phone) - Okay, okay...okay, how much will I drop from the price?

I (I hate such moments, but as polite as possible) - in the sense, shed? We agreed the price with you yesterday, everything went well. You signed the receipt...

Well yesterday it was yesterday, I came home and thought it was somehow expensive! Let us give in! (This is a very demanding tone.)

We agreed the price. If you decide that it is expensive, then you have my number, you can call, and say that you changed your mind.

Yes, I came home and thought, Isn’t it like that? ! to ? to ! to You can trade before and after the work.

I am (still surprisingly calm) - well, if you are not pleased, I can bring everything back to its original state in a couple of minutes, and you can solve the problem elsewhere. And to trade with a man after the work, for which you have already agreed the price, it is very beautiful.

m (and how much you can interrupt me...blin, she has also poured money into me) - and everything is clear with you (as it is on "you" she is able to), I will never come to you again, and I will not advise acquaintances!

And she shrugged, clogging behind herself and behind the red-roasted daughter’s door. I mentally asked the Higher Forces that she should not really come again.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №153618
 18.01.2020
My mother looked good for a long time. Until the age of 45, no one gave her those years. Sluggish, sporty, all stretched, running, always cared for in short plates. She was a little over 30, we lived in a house on three entrances, we were in the third. So, one day, a woman from the first entrance approaches her and asks to meet her son. He says that his son came from the army, he needs a good bride. My mom has been out, she says, my daughter 12, my husband has. My aunt didn’t believe it and insulted her mother because she was sure her mother was lying. She took me (daughter) for a sister, and Daddy was not seen, he was constantly at work. So her son then came to us home with flowers and candy, came not alone, but accompanied by his mommy, who controlled every word and every step. Mom invited them to the apartment, we sat down to drink tea, waited for Dad from work. When my father arrived, my mother introduced everyone to her husband to make it clear. But there was a grand scandal, a aunt accused my mother that the joke, took gifts in sign of consent and readiness to love with her son. This is such a story. I don’t remember how it all ended, but my mom cried for a long time and my dad cried for a long time.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №153617
 17.01.2020
My wife and I went to Rafting in Turkey for the first time. Down the mountain river. In our group we were the only Russians and the rest were Poles. Therefore, the instruction was only in Polish. Certain words I understood, but in addition to that you can go down, either on the pitch or on the plate, while performing instructor's commands. I persuaded my wife to fuse on the tree, because we still do not understand the language.

They arrived at the beginning of the alloy, got helmets and a helmet with wheels, although I would call it a bajdarka.

Started the descent. I was sitting in our back seat and my wife in front. The helmets were somewhat uncomfortable for us, especially the wife complained that she was knocking and even tried to go down without the helmet, but I persuaded her to wear it again. Swimming was a new thing for us. So it immediately went badly, but somehow started to cope. In one place there were drills near the stones, we were turned there and I hit the drill at one end, so that the stream increased my rush, and I hit my wife at the head, in the area of the ear, with the second end of the drill.

The woman throws the veil, grabs the ear, stands. I scream — I can’t hear, I try to reach — I can’t. Somehow he was able to get to the shore, and then only reached his wife.

I ask :

How are you?

Reply to:

"Some creature jumped out of the water and bitten me in the ear, probably bitten a glowing earpiece.

[ + 24 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №153616
 17.01.2020
If the owner of the caravan wanted to move somewhere, he would change the donkeys for horses and camels in the caravan.
But he prefers to tell fairy tales to the fat donkeys at the watershed, so the caravan will remain in place.

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №153615
 17.01.2020
We had a wonderful neighbor in our house.

He re-read the history of past years here, stumbled upon his own "Nouveau of Santa Claus", and realized that it was time to share another story about the heroes of our time. I had to meet this New Year not in the middle of the desert, but under a tree in Moscow, and I managed to meet the hero personally.

I now know with certainty that Santa’s residence is not in the Great Ustyug, not even in Rovaniemi. She is in Moscow, in Mitino. And let 364 days a year is a hole, with the reputation of which you can bet only that Biryulevo, once a year and here comes a fairy tale.

The story refers to the name Arsene. On Santa Claus, of course, he does not pull because of his age, rather on the elephant (although in dimensions more like a mountain troll, but this in this case does not apply). Mostly, as far as I know, he works as an ordinary taxi driver. Noisy parties in the apartment do not accommodate, with neighbors greeting, in the courtyard is not a hooligan. In short, just a normal quiet neighbor.

So, once a year (and according to my family, he is doing it for at least the third year in a row) Arsene sticks his red hat and goes through all the neighbors in the entrance. And everyone gives at least something, even small, but a gift: somebody a sweet set, somebody a bunch of mandarins, somebody a toy. Some neighbors he already knows quite well, so he tries to pick up gifts taking into account personal preferences. Some of the neighbors, in addition to giving a gift in return to Arsen, are also bound together with him to congratulate the remaining tenants. In short, the holiday begins somewhere in the area of noon and ends closer to the battle of the curants.

I met him the next day after the New Year’s Day in the yard while heating up the car. We talked, asked where the idea of congratulating the neighbors came from. And this is what he told me.

He himself was born and raised in Krasnodar, in the private sector, and from childhood he was accustomed to the fact that the New Year was celebrated across the street. A few years ago I moved to Moscow for salaries, rented an apartment in our house. And somehow I was surprised to discover that you can live here for many years - and not know the whole street, but even your own neighbors on the staircase cage. And already his first New Year in a white stone he was preparing to meet and completely alone, and almost without money in his pocket. A few hours before the New Year at the very door encountered the neighbors - two "God's puppets", to their comment on his not really festive appearance honestly replied that the New Year will welcome one in front of the TV with a sandwich with a sausage.

Half an hour before midnight, the guests came to visit him. Yes, with a very slight snow. In fact, there was only a waffle cake, olive and mandarines, the retirees simply did not have enough money for more. But according to Arsen, it was his happiest New Year (when he mentioned the Mandarians, he even cried out). Since then, for the first time, he has been trying to help the "frogs" (although there is only one frog left, grandfather died a year ago). And secondly, the whole autumn is postponed a little bit, so that in December to walk around and congratulate all the neighbors. As he said, “I first thought you, the Moscovites, were angry and self-contained people. Now I see that you are good. It’s important that you see it in yourself.” I don’t know, Arsen, if you have the strength and patience to change this world, but you’ve already changed one entrance to the Moscow apartment. God give you health and thank you for everything. See you next New Year.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №153614
 17.01.2020
Putin said officials should only be Russian citizens.
At 16:30 the government resigned.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №153613
 16.01.2020
An acquaintance told me.

He worked at the same time in the office. And in the office of the one as it is, the accounting office was, and that's all that lives in it. He got a call from the accounting office, and a panic voice called for a friend to come to them urgently. The printer went crazy: climbing to the ceiling! “” and panic. interruption of communication.

Intrigued (no) by these panic runners, the lady of accounting behavior, familiar with the admin speed, is wrapped into the department. Going into the monastery of accounting and reporting acquaintances saw a picture of complete madness and panic: a group of employees collapsed into a pile, in the remote corner of the room with pale faces stared at the window, rubbing the electrified atmosphere with periodic whispers.

There was something to be scared of. On the window hanged blinds with vertical lamels (these can be turned to the left/right and which from the bottom connects two chains). Because of the age and simply “because, well, what else?” A part of the lamels had long since no chains or even the plastic bottom for which these chains were held. There was a small printer on the window. Well, as I stood, at the time of my acquaintance's arrival, the printer greedy swallowed the lamellum into its interior from which it moved up the lamellum, that is, naturally "laying on the ceiling." Regularly under the force of gravity the printer slipped down, but the blinds did not splash out - the mechanism felt that there was something inside and started again.

The printer was safely saved.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №153612
 16.01.2020
When I was studying at the institute, my neighbor in the room was still a mess, playing all his free time. Once after the winter holidays he enters the room (coming from the house) and says "look at what toy I'm playing" and straight so without removing the jacket and hat gets a laptop and starts playing. I looked up and went for a couple. I come back in the evening, and he sits in the same position, only the hat on the back of the neck moved and the jacket broken.

The game is called Dead Space.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №153611
 16.01.2020
We sold the cottage, we lived ourselves. On the fence was the ad "I will sell a house, 425 square meters and a phone". A white Mercedes passed by, stopped, gave up and called us. I want to say to see. Not a question. He went in, looked into the kitchen and said, “Where is your toilet?” They showed. Could you? He asks. can be. He went in, joked, went out and left, saying, “I will call again.”

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