They say that McDonald’s is closing for the extremist slogan: "Free cash!"

This is:

Since I was a child, I was embarrassed by this phrase from fairy tales about milk rivers and jelly shores. What kind of beach will you drown on? These two fluids should be mixed immediately. Only recently realized that jelly as a solution of starch is a non-Newton liquid! That is, standing on such a shore, of course, can not, but to run quickly - very even possible. It remains only to calculate with what speed the milk must move in the river so that the banks and for it remain solid.

This is the same thing....

The fact is that the traditional jelly, which was cooked in the villages, is by no means a liquid drink, but something that resembles consistency - jelly, made from oatmeal. It is not sweet at all.

In American films that involve Russians, the Russians are an absolute evil, which is spotted by some large scale. Americans are divided into 3 groups: 1. superheroes (or a group of heroes less class) 2. A military chief who doesn’t know what to do and runs in panic, leaving the bricks behind. The rest of the Americans who do not suspect that bricks should be postponed.
The task of the heroes is to defeat the Russians and save the world. As it actually happens at the end.
The Russians look at these films as fairy tales. But here are the Americans, on the march, hoping that from the Russians someone will still save them...

Why is the phone tied to the table? Not to be stolen?
A six-year-old tribe recently asked "Why do you say hanging a bell? Do you just put it on the table after the conversation?" Here, too, the taxi had to show it for every case :)

Students, there is little meaning in this world. Whether you become a good programmer or not, it doesn’t matter. Even if you don’t finish your university at all, it’s on the drum too. We gave you neither knowledge nor strength. We gave you a mood. What could be more valuable than that?
Sometimes I think that the world we live in is dimming. You watch TV - black girl, listen to the radio - black girl, crawl on the street - the same hernia and a bunch of fools in the box. But that – I think. Do not think so. Because you are the future. Somewhere else there is a similar minor. And even more. You are a lot, student. You don’t build barricades and you don’t wave flags. You don’t go into politics and don’t tear your shirts. You do what any creature on this planet should do – you develop your mind. Their own. So, as Professor Ivan Vasilyevich Vernadsky said, you are working on the noosphere. When there are more people like you, the planet will become smarter and cleaner. Well, and I will know that it is not in vain, foolish, lived a life. Not because I am so smart. And because I have not invented you, of course, but I have conveyed a blatant truth.
God also has a sense of humor.

Roskomnadzor bans websites, Rospotrebnadzor bans food
They must be united and renamed Roszapret, so that everything is immediately understood: Russia? It is forbidden!
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
Stand up, who lives? It is forbidden to live here! It’s about you and it’s not funny.

I’m glad I have so many husbands. Because I had to convert the euro into rubles yesterday. Throw the rubles on the map. I lost the map. I did it all through the leash. I remember my card number. Today you will need to remove from the map, as well as through the forest.
He: Listen, I want to tell you one thing.
She is: Let me.
He: To be able to ask people for a favor, it is not always necessary to marry them. I just did, suddenly you didn’t know that it could be...
She is mad??? Nothing will work!
He: I am telling you exactly. I tried it, it works.

Lol, at first the talk was, I saw the story by chance and nothing terrible will be from it. Well, well, say for mercy, when it comes "your time" to watch "sexual perversions", who and on what basis this time is established?
_____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Dick is simple. Early before the wedding. After the wedding - the man of the family, himself knows everything". Fucking convenient position, a minimum of mental activity on the part of parents. And pregnant schoolchildren are not because they did not explain, but because they ignored. It was necessary to intimidate, so that even the thought was not, and drive to school under a convoy. Tell her now that she is madly minor and will burn in hell – in her position, emotional attitude is very important.

> Well okay, say on grace, when it comes "your time" to watch "sexual perversions", who and on what basis establishes this time?

One day I got a topic on a forum, a woman wrote, say, a seven-year-old daughter asks where the children come from, and what uncles and uncles in the movies do when they first kiss for a long time, and then immediately naked in bed, what to say to her. And there, as an argument against the fearlessness and not telling anything, someone told the story of his aunt, who got married immediately after school (the 60s), knowing only that the children are growing in the belly, and when the husband in the first wedding night began to... go, did not take what he needed. And when her husband explained, so to speak, the essence and mechanism of the process, she experienced a real shock.
Obviously, yes

Surprised young people, on the background of modern television series suddenly becoming sociopaths. Sorry, but neither Holmes nor House do you become from this, at most - a rather unpleasant interlocutor, and most often - a bride of a piece of shit!

Straga: I asked my dad to teach my son how to catch a rabbit on a red brick.

and summarize:
The end of the phrase is "that the years are no longer the". For example, measure seven times, and the years are no longer the same. How many wolves do not feed, and the years are not the same. My grandmother is on the train, but the years are no longer the same.
Continue to? and ;)
= is
You can drink water, but the years are not the same, if you understand what I am talking about...

The author, apparently, wanted to emphasize his ignorance of the subject.
-
correspondence with a girl.

What is Italy’s football team?
yyy: Composed of Italians)))))))
XXX What is the name?
yyy: Italian national team of football))))
XXX is clear
Yyy: As if the collections do not have a name, they are collections)))
XXX: I mean something else.
Okay, go on
and...
Italy Football Team = Squadra Azzura = "Blue Squadra"
I. O K.O

Today I had a dream where the main thought was this:
What are the three main rules of life? Here are they:
Live a long time.
Know a lot.
Die in peace.
And you know what? It sounds fucking logical...

I will answer this:

[Respond to the lady with the post "life one - goodbye country".
Mom, I love you very, very much, and I love our house. But if you suddenly lose your job, we will start starving and move to a dormitory in the bedroom area – I will go to live with aunt Love from the fifth floor. She is rich, her children are always dressed with needles and with iPhones running through the yard, and with Uncle Misha they do not argue, as you and Daddy. But I’m still your daughter, and when you and dad get well, I might come back to you. And as long as I live with aunt Love, because it will be better for me - and you can do without me, you are still young, strong. Farewell to Mom!
P.S It is a consumer society.)

Goodbye, mom, you’re black, and yesterday you forgot to turn off the gas and almost killed your grandchildren.
Goodbye, you don’t want to be treated because some kids can get sick!
Goodbye, if you’re healed and stop threatening my children, I’ll come back.

Man came from the guard - broke the couch on a metal frame (

Admin thousands of times by phone explains to the accountant how to copy in Excel. The accountant without trying to understand threatens to be dismissed, deprived of a premium, etc., for which the administrator issues:
Do you eat chicken?
Yes, and what then?
Canibalism doesn’t bother you.
and unwaveringly puts the phone

Sometimes on my own, and more often I go to work with a colleague who lives nearby, on a tayota, not new, but very even nothing, well or on a bus. This year my grandfather bought a penny, 80 g.v. He trusted me to ride it.
Today I go upstairs, another colleague.
It smells of teaspoons.

The Troll:
To the doctor:

I went to my grandmother after the end of the meduniver. Congratulations on the diploma, all the business, and then the grandmother is like this:
“Listen, there is a chicken in my house, go and see what she has with her leg, you’re a doctor!”
Immediately understood all the jokes about programmers and broken outlets!

— — —
And what, chicken bones and cartilage are categorically not as organized as humans? What general knowledge you should have taught. Or below your dignity to help grandmother with some chicken there, fi...
and ==
Do you have a clown or clown in your life?

From the article on the Tesla Model S control system, once announced a week quotation from Khabr:

X: Turn off the heat.
YYY: Five clips of Sasha Grey have been discovered. I reproduce the video.