Not my own, but I will tell from the first person, funny, in my opinion.

I am standing in the parking lot, screwing something under the hood there... The man goes:
Do you have a knife? I need there...
I decided to shake:
No, there is no knife, there is a gun.
The man raises half a jacket - there in an operational cobra - well... a gun. The man says, I have a gun, I need a knife.

Have you told her about your feelings?
She also has a boyfriend...
Wait, she and the kids will...

I am sitting in Sb. in the account. The last couple, everyone wants to go home. He is already listening to half his ear. The phone is on, and the papers are drawn. And here I think: a great time to write off! I get a shovel. I start to slide, falling to the floor. Prep: "Take off the sponge, young man!" I throw it out in the urn. I got the second one, I got it! Prep: "Stop writing!" And another one is flying into the urna. I get a phone. I sit and write. Unnoticedly he stepped up and said, "Young man, I am amazed by your stubbornness!" I think everything, now will drive out! "Let’s take a look, you have 3"...

I used to work in a factory that made air conditioners, but they were holding me and other employees out of pay, so I had to quit.
Because electricity is expensive, we did so. For the night, they opened the window and put a fan in it.Cold air was inflated into the room almost for free.
I am telling you this to avenge the factory! Take advantage of your health and tell your friends!!! Let’s destroy these blood-drinkers!

The empty blades? None of them, neither fish, neither fish, neither fish, neither fish.? to
Not empty but empty. I don’t think there is butter or milk in the pins themselves.
Meals without eggs, sugar, oil, dairy products and yeast are called mace.

Topic on the forum "Can you live without the Internet"
Answer from one user:
Today at work, the internet was turned off... Talked... met)

From the announcement board
Buy in non-working condition with any defects Aser Aspire One D270 ( color berry )

What do you know about ponts? In the spring, people wipe out the doors and mirrors of the doors and mirrors on the locked cars... The Toyota Rav4 is worth: the doors, the luggage compartment, the number, the inscription "Toyota" and the inscription "Rav4".

Antony
In the south-east of London, a Russian student crashed to death, falling from the balcony during sex

Antony
How boring we live.

We watch with my husband the movie "Back to the Future" (probably the fifteenth time)...In the episode with the murder of the professor, the husband begins to be upset: "Tales all this" I ask what he didn't like.

Discuss the authenticity of the photo:
X: Does the snow not bother in the photo?
yyy: The fire foam. The trees behind the greens are not embarrassing.

A friend has 18/20 visits, I have 9/20 visits. He was about more than me. shit, I hate our stupid old lady who stumbled on him. ozybrigen pi a.
XXX: The Injury
Do not sleep with the old man.
Zzz: I was an elder at the institute.
Zzzz: But no one slept with me.
ZZZ: The dogs

I have money to fly from Moscow to some European city and live there, but I don’t have money to fly from my city to Moscow.

I remember, grandfather, the kingdom of heaven, once asked - what there on the radio about the Crimea is told. My mother replied that Russia had attacked us. Grandfather never believed. The argument was iron.
They cannot attack us. We fought together!

Yesterday I listened to the song in Europe+
Who is singing?
xxxh: I don't know, but the words there were "the color of mature tomatoes yellow-eyed eyes"
What is X?
KFC: Half of the first night!
Did your grandmother put it? ?
The guards are out! ?
Tag: burned boy

CITIZEN, live discussing'E'E недое'D'ание and so on'E'E weight problems on the site'T'E, dedicating'E'n IT-humour, I'm sorry'N'I am, but in'A'M and your 'H'Olivar here is not the place. And p'U'est before you'I'd hidden meaning of this "message".

The new taste of chips is "rough hernia". Dare to fuck, fuck to fuck!! to
Everything goes under the beer. Even a shit on the stick.
- Fuck, I can imagine this advertising poster: "From the creators of "Dirty Fuck". Innovative product "Splashing on a stick"

Natasha: I don't know, Light, I would try a Dutch shuttle))
Serg: What is it?
Natasha: Oh, sunshine, I was mistaken window) yeah this is a cocktail for girls
Serge: aa, clear

xxx: Just like Linux on PS3, you can use a computer with a bluetooth keyboard and mouse

I have enough sex with my wife, thank you.

XXX: The idea came that dogs are created by people who need a friend on a rope. Cats are those who love independence.
yyy: Ugu, and hamsters are those who do not want to complex because of their excess weight;)