About the Safe Internet League, Mizulin and the child pornography base:

You know, considering all this hallucination, I decided to set up a met-laboratory at home. In the closet I will grow cannabis, in the washing machine to synthesize acid, and under the bed to grow psilocybes. Over the apartment I will hang the flag of the League Against Drugs, and if they come to me with a search, I will turn on the "Mizulin" mode and begin to tell you that it is impossible to steal drugs from me, because they are only accessible to the League staff (me and my friend). And in general, we gathered all this huge base of drugs only to hand it over to the State Control. And if the mints want to take the drugs from me (my base), I’ll say to them, “No-No-No, guys!” You only have the numbers and the check amounts, and the drugs will remain with me. I’m not a drug addict, I’m an ideological opponent of all this, and that’s why I gathered home the largest collection of drugs in history!

LifeNews journalists: It was delayed when they heard the Chechen speech.
Chechen language reassures better than Ukrainian. What other achievements of Maidan do you know?

We live in the private sector. A police officer enters the neighboring house for the second time in a day. Police officers knock into the house and neighbors do not open, like no one at home. One officer says to another:
Inside is closed.
The answer pleased:
Burn the house, they will quickly escape.

The philosopher:

As one of the smartest men, whose opinion I trust unconditionally, says, “Why do you need someone else, if you are so beautifully pulling in the shower to your own back?”

We still need someone who can express the judgments that arise in the head, or suddenly the internet will turn off.

Damn, where are my new shorts for running?
YYY: Why are they for you?
Q: Smoking is not good.

Tomorrow at 9 o’clock I will wake you up.
He is gentle and gentle.
She is... very... homeopathic!
He is fucking.

In the EU proposed to ban the purchase of vodka, caviar, diamonds and soboles from Russia"(ITAR-TASS)
It is not a joke. It is funny for some reason...
But... What fucking thing – they are mocking us, and they are also eating our eggs?

Before you get up from your knees, you have to get out of your ass!

Early in the morning, they are still asleep. I walked into the kitchen from a deep bottom. A cold cup of tea. behind the glass. I take a teaspoon, apply to the nose, throw my head...
On the ceiling is a leaflet, on it the mark: "Speed in the glass, SUCA!!!"
I almost drowned. Since then, my throat has...

I always learn from the mistakes of people who followed my advice.

In the collection:
"...image quality pain and no less"

The pictures were good.)

There is a Norwegian forest cat. The fur is practically impermeable and long as a polar night, as a result of which the "strands" from the back are squeezed at once, and slipped out of it in principle fall. I took the sleeping, shaved my ass - and voila! The cat is sitting and doing intimate hygiene all day! There’s a version that he’s just blown up, and he’s fixing the situation (well how can it be), but I think, can you shorten it in honor of the heat so that it all goes out?))))

In addition, WSJ reports that the tablet will be equipped with a screen with a diameter of 7 inches.
The Truth? Will it be round?

From the forum, a branch on folk methods of treatment.
Crow: I was not treated with cucumbers, but the egg, it was a matter, somehow saved me. Shortly before graduating from school, he got a barotrauma of the ear, broke the drum membrane. Everything would be nothing, even if it was over time, only there was a medical commission at the military school on my nose, which I would not pass. I came, all in trouble, to LOR in our nursing room, for which she reassured me and told me to bring an egg. The next day I appeared to her with a fresh chicken egg, well then the chicken parents held, she cut out a piece of film that is under the shell and carefully glued the hole to me. And what you think, passed all the commissions - and the district and the regional, nobody even suspected anything.

Judging by the stories of the local inhabitants, people learned to laugh, whisper, chick and just smile. Instead, now in funny situations, they cry, fall and lie down.

by Zohar.

About the new film "Godzilla":
“I would never have thought that in a movie about the huge terrible monsters, the most terrible beast would be, Scuco, the rage on the bridge!”! to

SpiritOfVox: CERN is here for the red word. Apparently these people work there, and this service is their side entertainment. “Roskosmos employees today launched a paper snake.” It seems like nothing special, people launch air snakes every day, but once the Roscosmos staff, it may be important, suddenly this is a new, two-stage, way to bypass the curse of the celestial firm.

By the way, we had a delegation from Japan...We were very asked to not deliver jeeps. A car for farmers.
------------
Obviously, it was not a Jeep brand car, but a type of "outdoor car". Given that 99% of our roads are not in the Japanese sense, they asked in vain. Absolutely deserved SUVs are popular in our countryside. And leading car manufacturers supply them to us in the most sophisticated configurations, not for the transportation of potatoes.

In front of me, a young man buys two bottles of wine.
Registrar: Show the documents
The man shows his driver’s license.
The cashier looks closely at the rights and after a little confusion asks the security guard: he has "B". Can you sell with "B"?

From the joyeractor:

There is a fairy tale that bin Laden had two gepards in one of the residences to guard. When the special forces entered there, they blasted at them and bitten some of them.
The Gepards? Here are the bastards!