Xxx: My brother’s father brought my brother to the garden for the New Year’s tree in shorts and a maid for a masquerade. I thought it was shorts and nothing bothered him that around the kids in costumes danced. Then, when the photos showed my mother almost caught a heart attack.

Yyy: T-shirts and t-shirts are the "Batya" costume, it's okay.)

Once my mother got sick and my father had to go to the meeting.

he was sitting for an hour at the meeting of another class, gave money and came happy that there were no claims to his child.

In connection with the fact that mathematicians approached the solution of the formula for calculating retirement savings, the PFR is forced to change it.

The words of a friend.

My wife and I decided to give our daughter to Mat. school in Petrograd. There was before such, not quite of course maths school, but mathematics was taught well. I took my daughter to an interview, and she was 6 years old. The questions were easy, she answered everything correctly. Then the teacher asked her the last question:
Imagine you have an apple, with branches of apples on it. On one branch 7 apples, on the other - 8, on the third 9. How many apples in an apple?
The girl, without thinking, says, is 24.
The teacher wondered how she thought.
- Well, I took one apple from the third branch, weighed on the first, and three times eight will be 24.
This interview ended.

The teacher takes me to the side and begins, - your child is of course weak, maybe our school will not suit her, but... and herself, rubbing her fingers reflexively, as if she was already counting the money. I understood what she wanted, and, confidently looking in her eyes, I said:
In fact, she has just developed Gauss’s method of finding the sum of a series. So you’re right, maybe your school doesn’t fit her.

My daughter, by the way, was taken. Maybe I’m going to complain.

The President of Estonia declared that for the Estonians the Second World War ended in 1994. I once thought stories about slow Estonians were all jokes!

The words of a friend. My wife and I decided to give our daughter to the mat. School in Petrograd. It was there before, not exactly Matt. School, but mathematics taught not bad. I took my daughter to an interview, and she was 6 years old. The questions were easy, she answered everything correctly. Then the teacher asked her the last question:

Imagine you have an apple, with branches of apples on it. On one branch 7 apples, on the other - 8, on the third 9. How many apples in an apple?

The girl, without thinking, says, is 24.

The teacher wondered how she thought.

- Well, I took one apple from the third branch, weighed on the first, and three times eight will be 24.

This interview ended.



The teacher takes me to the side and begins, - your child is of course weak, maybe our school will not suit her, but... and herself, rubbing her fingers reflexively, as if she was already counting the money. I understood what she wanted, and, confidently looking in her eyes, I said:

In fact, she has just developed Gauss’s method of finding the sum of a series. So you’re right, maybe your school doesn’t fit her.



My daughter, by the way, was taken. Maybe I’m going to complain.

She told the story of a colleague after a vacation in Samarkand to relatives (she and her husband are Russian). by her words.

Her husband went, let’s call him Ivan, to the market for watermelon, he was immediately warned that it was not possible to take the price offered by the seller because they are accepted to trade and the price can be cut down at the proper scale almost twice. At the same time, he has to say that he is local from another city otherwise the price will break.

He went to a barbecue store. The seller said that watermelons cost 17 p (a colleague for our convenience said all prices in rubles).

Ivan was very surprised that watermelons in Uzbekistan are more expensive than in Russia (we now have about 9-12 p / kg). A funny trade began. We agreed for 10 r.

But when Ivan offered the seller to weigh the watermelon, something happened.

In general, it turned out that watermelons in Uzbekistan are sold in pieces and the price was for watermelon. And Ivan thought that the price was per kg.

I once picked up a wanderer, it was beautiful and young, the hair was long and curly. It looked like a plush mouse. But it was p*z*c! It was impossible to keep him in the house. I don’t know how much fluid he had, but he targeted everything! A table, oven, refrigerator, bed, wallpaper, door - everything! There were no dogs in the house before. He was driven out to live in a booth, he and his booth methyl, and the bed on which he slept. Then a wild thing began! He sits in the corner of the courtyard and waits for hours! You call him and he’s zero attention. He went away full and cuddled. Then he began to sneeze endlessly. If he does not sneeze, he sneezes. Then he started fucking eating. The cat will meet, buried, and this straight immediately digs and eats! I went to the veterinarian and I was told that his head was not fine. I thought all my life to suffer with him I will, but the fate thanked) near the aunt lived, she was not all home when they met - it was love at first sight) still live together) 7 years has passed! This whispers endlessly, and the one on the tubes in the house with a hammer, the rat drives out. Happy End, Bl. After that, I do not take dogs from the street, only cats.

Xxx: I have a wife in my virginity - Long, so my friends called me "Long Job".

Yyy: I have a friend whose wife in her virginity had the name Babko. Clickuka Babkoeb forever now with him.

When I was in school, one newspaper held a competition for funny surnames, but it was necessary not only to send a surname, but a copy of the passport, certified by a notary. A woman sent her story. When she was a virgin, she married a man named Invaluable, and in every quarrel he told her, “Silence, Invaluable, I have made you invaluable.”

When the family becomes a master, it becomes a satrap.

The older sister holds her 4-year-old niece, the daughter of her younger sister, on her knees. She turns around, looking at the eyebrows in her ears: "Aunt Galia, what beautiful eyebrows you have!" Aunt Galli is in a bad mood, sick, and replies to her, “I will die, you will get it.” The cousin thought, “Go now, you’ll die anyway!“”

According to the results of the MAKS-2019 air show signed a contract for the supply to Turkey of a large batch of ice cream.

Beginning of year. When the children go to the first class, the teacher asks:

Are there poor people? Application for free meals

One hand rises.

All parents turn to the “failed.”

A mountain of contempt and satisfaction.



5 the class.

Are there poor people?

The forest of hands rises.

The state is not impoverished...

Just that: returning from a late walk to the source of food, he walked through a wide alley, where the shelves stood on the sides. I decided to sit down and rest. Just on the side, on the contrary, a guy sits on the bench and looks at the phone.

The hallway, by the way, is very bright, you can read books at night.

There are two girls passing by, classically discharged in minis and shorts, and walking something intermediate between a dog, a rat and a squirrel, without a leash.

For an unknown reason, the girls fell asleep to smoke and talk about "life" between me and the guy. And, for the same unknown reason, their mini-mutant with open eyes begins, squeezing, to whip an innocent guy.

He first looks silently at the saucer, then at the girl. The slide reduces the distance and increases the frequency of sound oscillations. The guy, trying to break through them, polently asks the girls to attach the animal to the thread, but they ignore the request. The second request is accompanied by an unclear answer such as "what does it not bother."

Here, the saucer, apparently getting the spiritual support of his guardians, clings to the poor guy in the trousers.

I was ready for a fierce clash of all four participants with each other, but the guy reluctantly removed the phone in his jacket, lifted the seam behind the necklace, removed it from the trousers, and carefully put it... in the trash.  Such, you know, cylindrical shape, which on the pillars of the lighthouse attached over the ground.

He took on his deeds.

To get out of the bottom of the garbage, the sewing could not, and exploded with an even louder nervous crackling.

The girls, of course, rushed to save their "miracle", and began to shout the dissolving shadow of the guy of threat and insult of the most different degrees of decency.

Listening to this stream to the end I did not decide, and also rushed home.

The boy comes in the morning and says:

If you like a girl at work, give her a flower.

Wife: what, b##

No one contributes so much to the development of domestic tourism as food suppliers with a ban on traveling abroad.

The camera history.

One Saturday morning, I got a call from the department.
And Alexander Georgievich?
He is the same.
This is area. Please come to my office with your IS-12.
Just with him?
Others are not interested.
has arrived. There, at the entrance, a sergeant waits and you have to go through a long corridor, behind the turn of which the section office. I was not there, but I found it.
Hi to you.
Hi to you.
and here.
Staley looked at the permit, swirled the number with iron.
and all.
All of it? What happened to that?
Murder with the use of 12 caliber circumcision. We are checking the presence of guns in Kiev and the region.
A. Well yes So I went?
Goodbye to you.
I go to the exit, and the sergeant does not let me on the post! He says I have to have a passport to leave! In other words, I am a fugitive.
Behold, this sergeant stuck me in a monkey near the entrance to the department, and he went out to find out.
Beauty in the monkey. A couple of bombs of both sexes, the alchemy sleeps and goodbye!
Such a goodwill, collages with Lurex, papyrus asks. Lack of bonds.
We smoke with her, we have a worldly conversation. Menta is not. Will I show you a rifle?
and Hach!! to
I gathered, gathered, gathered and gathered.
A minute later, twenty ranks higher than the starters go through the corridor.
How I was overwhelmed when they saw that from a monkey in them was targeted a 12-caliber prostitutes with a papyrus in the corner of their mouth!

I was driven out of the lie, and the prostitute was not taken with me. and sorry. We seem to have already been friends.

Humble to disgrace... After disgrace again humble.

We were 14 years old. We, it is me, Vytke, Rus (Ruslan), Slavka, Lechka.

All free time spent in the stadium, playing football (in one gate).

We come to the stadium of the countryside, bring water in a three-litre bank, drink very much wanted)))

We were sent to death by one old man, Sereza Safin.



He will come (living near the stadium), and let us wash (pnet, strike, push). Scott in one word. He is healthy, going to the army in autumn, and we are 13-14 years old.

Serrezh was taken to the army (then taken for 2 years).

Flying 2 years.

Sergey came from the army, went out to the stadium, and there we, in football, cut.

Sereza remembered how he chased us to the army, nostalgia covered him.

I came (in the parade with the axelbants),

“Well, salabons, how have you lived here while I pulled the shaft for you?”

And the lashes on the face lash with all their strength.



Here he was pleasant. All together, a lot and disorderly. He lay on the ground and just waved.

And you know, I’m not sorry for this fall. And when they say it’s unfair and unfair, I mean, it all depends on the circumstances.