bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №96427
 09.04.2014
Yesterday in the resuscitation called me a 4-year-old boy:
Aunt come to me.
I am fit. There is a surgeon nearby.
The child :
Find my mom, look her in the eyes, just look, and say I love her so much.
The surgeon left with the words "Well, how can I endure this?"
I realized that I never changed my job.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №96426
 09.04.2014
Fighting in the Rada: On the words "You are waging a war against dissent" the speaker disconnected the microphone, struck from the tribune and a mess began.
XHHH: The Rada finally started working in the usual mode!

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №96425
 09.04.2014
f.k I have two joys at work:
See the clock at 11:11
2 and not see 22:22

[ + 32 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №96424
 09.04.2014
Fuck the teachers.
Two positions. The first, the teaching, the Soviet type - whoever wants, he learns. and fair.

The second, student, post-Soviet type (paid department) - we paid the money, you are obliged to teach. is logical.

to summarize. Budget seats are being cut with terrible force. In addition to the competition, there is a lot of speculation. Students, irritated by widespread cynicism, begin to present themselves from a position of force, money is paid. And don’t think that they pay the major, it was 10 years ago, they pay the average and below the average. They are angry because money matters to them. Teachers don’t see that money. On average, the salary is from 11 to 19 thousand (on average, in Moscow there is not only Vishka and MSU). Yes, for such a h/p only every day and look for approaches to the minds of young people. Why is it all. Thanks to the Ministry of Education!

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №96423
 09.04.2014
We don’t drink vodka, we go there. Not just vodka. I mean, not just drinking!! to

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №96422
 09.04.2014
Comments on the news about the shooting of the 7th part "Star Wars"
In the final there will be a scene where Darth Vader is filmed from the election.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №96421
 09.04.2014
A normal salary is one at which you stop shaking your eyes every day. All other definitions are from the evil.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №96420
 08.04.2014
The local people of Kharkiv stormed the opera and ballet theatre, thinking that it was the mayor and demanded the mayor.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №96419
 08.04.2014
The deputy minister of energy from the apartment stole documents and 250 thousand rubles, which the family was going to spend on vacation in Crimea.
Not the fate. I’ll have to fly to Goa again, Szuco.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №96418
 08.04.2014
The 6th sense, the 6th sense - and did not think of the barometer in the knee joint, attached to the nerve pain?

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №96417
 08.04.2014
I refuse to acknowledge the results of my 40th anniversary!
YYY: Give me back my legitimate 25

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №96416
 08.04.2014
xxx: And we start the prize game under the general title "So where are they, the borders of Russia?"

According to the Thames TV - English channel show: in parliament discuss, as usual, from the dawn of the Ukrainian issue (working). <...> True, the same issue applies to the Russian Federation and most CIS countries.

yyy: The beginning of the post was very pleasant: "So where are they, the borders of Russia?" -- "On the Thames".

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №96415
 08.04.2014
I don't know what the architect smoked, but the cottage has windows in the strangest places: on the staircase cage two on both floors, but at the level of the carpet, the loft all in the windows, somewhere the windows at the level of 1.5 floor.
and----
This is a big mystery – what do architects smoke? Apartments in new buildings is a song. Entrance through the warehouse. A meter per meter, but with a window. The balcony is more than the only room. More than all the rooms combined. And the most hit is the balcony in the hallway.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №96414
 08.04.2014
In short, the U.S. Postal Service refused to send the package to Sergey Ivanov from St. Petersburg due to sanctions imposed by the U.S. Government. Meanwhile, Sergey Ivanov of the SPB was not the one Sergey Ivanov, against whom sanctions were introduced. What is not surprising - the name "Sergey" and the surname "Ivanov" are among the most common in Russia.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №96413
 08.04.2014
We talked to the technical specialist on mass spectrometers, and the conversation came about nightmares:
I dream that you are Jon. You fly and you suddenly fall into an ionic trap! But that is not all. With enormous effort you break out of it... and then you realize that the trap does NOT work! The horror...

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №96412
 08.04.2014
And I have one wish – to squeeze in the ass of the laptop those gondons that the router put... this is a torrent tracker, it is holy! All good, baked and all the best.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №96411
 08.04.2014
Chairman Mao is on the move.
The army of wild cats.
The surrounding chickens are spending.
Hundreds of hungry mouths.
The farmer takes a gun.
He targets in vain:
The army of Myo - Chongqing Beast -
comes from all sides.
Meo, of course, does not like people –
So many divorced!
To make them nails.
To kill in the sky...
The Red Beast! People will stand.
The fucking blouse!
Whoever would give the bandit a sting,
Who would resemble him?! to
Chairman Mao can wait.
He secretly dreams of
Suddenly a star passes through the sky.
With a long mouse tail.
Then the earth will be swallowed,
The orbits are broken.
The fields will be grown with grass,
The rivers will be covered by ice.
Then the cats will come out.
There will be a wicked century.
Mice and birds will come.
Not to live and every flesh.
Chairman Myo, shaking his eyes,
Foot in the shower.
Strongly fulfilling a new order.
for the shower. © luaths_lurgann

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №96410
 08.04.2014
Admin: What kind of OS do you have? 7 or XP?
User: I do not know.
admin: "Start" square or round?
How do you say it’s not quite square?
Admin is OK! But is it not round?? to
User: Well, I’t say that there is such a thing in it...

[ + 25 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №96409
 08.04.2014
7 of April. The evening. +6 to 6. The stack of griders behind the window scratches wet asphalt. Limits must be established.
8 of April. The morning. - three During the night, 20 centimeters of snow fell.

The greens are sleeping. Limits are selected.

The Surgeon.

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №96408
 08.04.2014
I also like to sleep, especially after a long wake up at 5 a.m. and dragging the child to the kindergarten to the other end of the city to be at work at 9 a.m.... And now I’m the boss! I ordered working hours from 10 to 16. The group was small, mostly women, and everyone was delighted with this perspective. And all the working hours really work! 😉 But at home, they have lunch, go home without traffic jams and get out of bed in the morning.)! to

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