- The arrangement is this: the brother has stood up, the fellow at zero and barrying is no longer something. The only way out was to endure the strain to work overtime.
Are you the Chairman of the Chamber of Accounts?

We sit with a friend in a cafe, eat lunch, enters the body swinging in different directions and explains to the seller that he needs to call immediately.

That is, do you hear? Let me call.

We have no phone!

Well, in nature, I will pay!

- Man, I explain to you, we don’t have a phone!

I was here with you yesterday. Did you call the mentions? ! to

If you are sad and sick, remember that there are billions of cells in your body.

They all have to do with you.

The story of the famous song, which was born on November 27, 1941 near Istria.

Correspondents of the newspaper of the Western Front "Red Army Truth" arrived on that day with an editorial assignment in the 9th Guard Army Division.

After passing by the division’s command post, they jumped by a truck at the 258-th (22-th Guard) rifle regiment in the village of Kashino. This was precisely at the time when German tanks, passing through a loot near the village of Darna, cut off the commanding post of the regiment from the battalions.

Among them, in this sudden surrounding, was the coroner Alexei Surkov.
Further from his face:

It quickly darkened. Two of our tanks, smashing the snow dust, went to the forest. The soldiers and commanders who remained in the village collapsed in a small blinds equipped somewhere in the back of the KP at the commander of the regiment, Lieutenant Colonel Sukanov.

The photographer and I hid from the dense mortar and automatic fire on the stairs leading to the blending - he wanted to have time to take pictures of the battle.
The Germans were already in the village.
And sowing in two or three surviving houses, they were shooting at us continuously.

So what, will we still be sitting in the blend? - said the head of staff of the regiment captain I.K. The Great.
Having talked about something with the commander of the regiment, he turned to everyone who was in the blinds: - Well, whoever has "pocket artillery", let's!

Having gathered a dozen and a half hand grenades, including taking out my two promised "limousines", which I kept for the chance, the captain, pulling the belt on the telogreek, came out of the blender.

And cover it! He gave up briefly.

We immediately opened fire on the Hitlerites. The Big Polls. The grenades. The explosion, another explosion, and the house became quiet. The captain went to the other house, then to the third. It all happened again, according to a predetermined scenario.
The enemy fire was reduced, but the Germans did not stop. When he returned to the blender, he was already drowning.

Everyone was organized towards the river. They crossed the ice under ammunition. The Hitlerites did not leave us with their "grace" even when we were already on the opposite shore. From the ruptures of the mines, the frozen earth flew in all directions, painfully beating the helmets.

When they entered the new village, it seems Ulyanovo, they stopped. The worst happened here. The chief of the engineering service suddenly says to Suhanov:
- Comrade Colonel, and you and I passed through our mine field!

And then I saw that Sukanov, a man who usually did not lose his spirit for a second, was pale like snow.
He knew that if someone had struck the mine during this retreat, none of us would have survived.

Then, when we got a little mastery in the new place, the commander of the regiment’s headquarters, Captain Velichkin, the one who threw grenades to enemy machine guns, sat down to eat soup. He ate two tablespoons and, we see, dropped the tablespoon and fell asleep.
The man did not sleep for four days.
And when a phone call came from the headquarters of the division - by that time the communication was restored - we could not wake the captain, no matter how hard we tried.

Impressed by the day under Istra, I wrote a letter to my wife.
Where he wrote sixteen "home" lines of poetry, which he did not intend to publish, and especially to pass on to anyone to write music...

Poems "Fire beats in a tight mushroom" would have remained part of the letter, if in February 1942 did not come to Moscow from the evacuation, composer Konstantin Lystov did not come to the front edition and did not ask "something to write a song."

And then I, fortunately, remembered the poems written at home, found them in the notebook and gave them to Listov, being absolutely sure that his conscience was cleaned, but the songs from this lyrical poem will not come out.

She ran through the lines with her eyes, wandered something uncertain and left. He left and forgot everything. But a week later, the composer again appeared in the edition, took a guitar from the photographer Mikhail Savin and sang his new song, calling it "In the Earth".
Everyone, free from work "in the room", holding their breath, listened to the song. The song seemed to have worked.

In the evening, Misha Savin after dinner asked me for a text and, accompanying on the guitar, performed a song. And immediately it became clear that the song "will go" if the melody was remembered from the first performance.

The song really went. On all fronts - from Sevastopol to Leningrad and the Polar. Some front moralists thought that the lines: "It is not easy for me to get to you, and to death - four steps" - falling down.
It was advised that the death be cut off or moved away from the cave.

I was sorry to change words. They conveyed what was experienced, felt there, in the battle, and it was too late to spoil the song, it "goed".
As you know, you can’t throw a word out of the song.

About the fact that with the song "wise", the warriors learned. In my messy army archive there is a letter signed by six tank guards. Having said a good word to the song and its authors, the tankers write that they heard that someone didn't like the line "to death - four steps".

The guards expressed such a vicious wish: "Write for these people that four thousand English miles before death, and leave us as it is - we know how many steps before it, to death."

So, from the events of one heavy battle in the village of Kashino and a chain of happy coincidences, and a legendary song appeared.

The most powerful organization in the world is the idiots, they have their people everywhere.

Girl, can I meet you?

I am a lesbian.

No problem, I act like a grandmother.

The spacecraft flew and whispered with a hole in the left side.

Feminism in my community.

WARNING: Fasting can cause disgust to people (at least to a few human individuals).

The Student Companion. Block of several rooms with a total population of 20 people. Two common toilets without gender differences.

One of the toilets has not worked for a long time, the second (in which 20 people go) - in a terrible state, thanks to the life activities of both boys and girls (let's go without dirty details, although the evidence was sufficient).

I was tired of using the hose, and I decided to put the second toilet in order. I would know how I would be disappointed in people after that, no matter what I started.

Day one :

Asked the commander for permission to conduct works independently (tentatives to persuade the management to repair have long been recognized as meaningless). He walked around neighbors, expressed thoughts about repairing the toilet with his own efforts (to turn rubles at 50-100, buy everything necessary, repair and hang schedules of duty). The neighbors were divided into those who told them they had to go to the bathroom, and those who just stood on me.

Day two :

I removed the steppe from the card, bought everything I needed in the building store. He came, dressed things that were not unfortunate, and went to work. In the evening, I only had time to clean up the garbage, old pollution and other p***c accumulated over the years + scratched the rotten paint from the walls and grounded it before painting.

The Day 3:

I made sure that everything was dry, painted the walls, repaired a barrel, a chair and put a spinning machine on the door. After finishing work, I went into the shower and went to the girl with a nighting (the case was on Friday evening).

The Day 4:

I was not in communion.

Day of 5:

I came back on Sunday evening, went to the toilet, and I saw a picture: on the door of the toilet I had repaired, there was a large letter J, drawn with a marker, and failedly twisted loops with a small lock. On the door of the hoodie with the same marker is drawn the letter M (no lock on the door).

A little at this turn, he walked to the rooms, asked all the inhabitants to go out to the corridor for the assembly, where he raised the question, what, in fact, is happening here?! to

The answer literally changed my view of people I’ve known for years:

This is a women’s toilet.

From what to be?

We decided so.

Who are “we”?

Girls (8 out of 20 inhabitants)

How did you decide that? Who gave you that right?

Because we are girls! We’re not going to go to the same toilet with you pigs, you’re always bla bla bla...

And here it happened: in the next few minutes, the "girls" from a decent university were literally transformed in their eyes into some kind of evil puppets (mothers, insults, dirt). I just stood and cried: we do not know you for the first year, we live together, we learn together - where do you have so much shit, where does all this hatred come from?

After listening to the tirades about what "all the men" pigs and hates, some did not stand up and entered into a dispute with the bats. To be fair, I would say that some guys also behaved very disgustingly, saying, for example, that one of them should use a new impetus because he is a high school student or because he personally "never swept past the toilet."

There were even "riders" who stood up in defense of the girls (the guy of one of them and the guy who was in love with the other).

For the first 5 minutes, I tried to argue, then I just stood with my mouth open, and I thought, "What a herd you are..." In the end, I became so disgusted that, without thinking about the consequences, I quietly took the hammer and scattered back everything I had done before: broke down the lock, removed the spongyard, scratched the inside of the tank, destroyed the walls to the previous state - it was not enough to just throw the garbage and hang the corners to restore the old smell.

Do you think this story is over? If it were: on Monday, the “girls” knocked their fists at my door. Upon entering, they were delighted to announce that the commander was waiting for me "for a serious conversation."

I stood up and went to her office – the “girls” joyfully followed me, waiting for the execution. It turns out that as soon as Komenda came to work, they immediately wrote a complaint against me.

When he saw me, the commander nodded his head and asked to close the door. The neighbors stood next to me, chewing their hands joyfully.

For the next 10 minutes, with every word she literally rolled back my faith in normal people, because the object of her screams was not me, but my neighbors. Each wall has ears in the shelter, so Comenda knew the role of each of us in this story. It is hard to describe with what pleasure I listened to their miserable excuses to justify:

We are, but he is...

As a result, the comenda said that there was no repair at all, nobody broke anything, and the toilet was always in this condition. Now I am writing, scrolling through my head again and I understand how much she is an offgenic aunt.

Unfortunately, the aversion to the neighbors from this did not happen anywhere, and in the next two years of living together I was never able to print out a "hello" to any of these beautiful "girls".

The president can find the right words.
The simple replacement of the phrase “theft and corruption” with “degradation of the demographic situation” made it clear to all citizens the need to work for five more years.

Soon, in the achievement section, it will be possible to write: “No stitches.”

The Courier.

One evening they drank tea with friends and they talked about their son.
Parents are complaining, telling out, school finished and did not go anywhere.
They ask you, will you put it somewhere?
We are family friends and we need to help. I say:
- Well, I'm not the boss... but one good acquaintance seemed to say that they needed a courier in the state.
This is exactly what needs to be! He still had a year to go to the army.

I called Alexander, and took a guy on my recommendation.
And then this happened. About a week he worked without adventures, the work is not dusty.
And then he sends his boss a personal gift to take on his birthday to the financial director of their major customer. The Finance Director is an impressive lady.
The gift is modest, but with taste: a bottle "Domaine de Chevalier" 2008 and a bouquet of roses.

From a boy’s story:
"I took a package beautifully packed with a bottle of wine, a bouquet, came to them in the office on "Tretyakovskaya", there they say to me at the reception:
- Olga Nikolaevna will be in an hour.
I was told to personally hand it over. I sat in the park and waited.
I bought a pizza to eat, and put the bag next to the store, well, and hit him with his elbow.
The bottle is out!

As I got worse, say goodbye to work, but the hell knows how much this wine costs.
And then it was dark, I would go to the store and buy some red too.
He did not warn her what mark she would give, maybe they would not notice.

But I learned this later.
Because first Alexander called me and pressed from laughter:
- Well, your protector, our new courier, and broke out yesterday!
Tell me what he did.
- Yes, I sent him with a present to Olga, a bottle of good red wine.
Did he drink it himself?
I do not know! But she was calling me now and crying out in gratitude, says Sasha, and how did you know about my favorite Masandrov Red Port Wine?
The price is 700 rubles. I wonder if I’m going to buy this shale for ten thousand.

Do you now calculate it?
Why then? The guy is smart, good at least bought the "Three Seals"!

The Russians paid more than 800 million dollars for the Tony Robbins show. 26,000 people gathered for training at the Olympic. And this despite the fact that tickets cost from twenty-seven thousand to half a million rubles. Many were dissatisfied with the theses spoken by the coach. His advice was called banal.”

They just didn’t understand the main lesson that the “Business Coach No. 1 in the World” taught them:
To get rich quickly and without much effort, you just need to be able to find 26 thousand Russians, ready to put out from 27 to 500 thousand. The rub. Two hours of banal advice.

She worked as an accountant in a security agency and simultaneously kept personnel records. The incoming calls are on me too. A girl calls and goes into her forehead:

Who are you such?

I was a little rushed:

Sorry, but who are you?

“Why, creature, is he calling you?

Who is he? Are you about anything at all?

He has a phone number on your phone!

Who exactly are you talking about?

Do you have many of them? ? to ? to A prostitute is it?

I put the phone. In a moment she calls:

What tubes are you throwing? Who gave you the right to get rid of men? Why did he call you?

I don’t know who you are, what you want and how to help you. My work phone is constantly called about the vacancy of the guard. Did you know that your young man is looking for a job?

After the pause:

Okay then...

And guts...

Is it necessary to clarify that a man with work has flown?

I have a drunkard and he has a parrot. So he didn't get into psychyshky because of the puppy: he didn't talk about it, but he started to imitate the puppy twice. Pipe at night...Until they understood what was going on, they didn’t sit!

The director lived near the factory. A quiet summer night, about 2:30 p.m., breaks into the passageway, awakening the guards with cries:

Where is the fire? Why is there no security report? Why doesn’t the master pick up a cell phone? Where are the fire cars? What about mobile communication?

There was no fire, we would know.

The director ticks them a cell phone in the nose, with a fresh SMS from the master: "In the factory fire, we can't call you." The entire staff stands up, no one knows. Finally, they call the home master, he can first understand nothing, and then says:

I sent this SMS a week ago. Remember, we burned the warehouse and you were fishing?

In our civilized world, the most peaceful life has always been far from civilization.

On the account of gold retriever Trepp from the Florida Police Department, more than 100 criminals have been detained and drug detection worth approximately 63 million. The dollar. One day, during a demonstration at a police academy, Trepp was asked to find 10 hidden packages of drugs - he found 11.

On the day of the city, the city council of Moscow will spend 100 million rubles on the clouds.
I ask the sick children who are collecting money for the operation to treat this with understanding.

It is not the U.S. State Department that ruins the country, but the pensions of $ 120.

The question is not who you work, but who you are, human or not.
The story of Gaia. The 2010 year.
I get a call: my wife has begun to give birth. I rushed after her from work, turned to the left, after J.D. Moving through a straight line. There is a GAI car, 30 meters from the move... I explain the situation, slightly opening the glass... The reaction was this: "Go home, we are behind you."
And indeed, they followed me, I went home to home, I took my wife, we went out of the yard. And they turned on the flashlight, and - went in front of me, in the end, flew to the nursery in 7 minutes, and if the persian through all the traffic jams - an hour and a half would have been in them... I offered the guys a large money - they were offended, honestly, did not take!
With a smile, “Other time!”
Thank you guys! Unfortunately, I did not ask their names, but they were...
Do not hang the labels.