bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №96087
 01.04.2014
In the situation that has emerged now in Ukraine, every reasonable person, in my opinion, should make the only right choice and vote for Darth Vader.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №96086
 01.04.2014
About what kinds of goats were guests at the wedding on his part, the spouses usually tell each other immediately after the divorce.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №96085
 01.04.2014
We go with a friend(s) in the car, we talk to the navigator(s), then the navigator loses the route and the following dialogue occurs:
I: Well, where are we going?
D – to go!
The route is built!

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №96084
 01.04.2014
YYY: No-No-No, the point should be that the navigator map indicates where the naked aunts are!
yyy: and the data must be updated in real time. It is advisable with a overhead so that it is clear if it is worth going there.
xxx: Although, to make a map of women’s easy behavior in the city and tagged with "she gives" would be cool, probably.
YYY: Definitely
XXX: But it already exists. This is Instagram ) The main thing is to subscribe to the desired %)
yyy: what, there is even a tag "she gives"?
Yyy: It was now the best Instagram advertisement in my life!

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №96083
 31.03.2014

The girl thinks:
HITTY: I don’t remember said or not)) Who invented the minet?
No, seriously, who awoke with the same thought "taaaaaak, today I am a member ambassador!" I can’t, I am fun)

[ + 27 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №96082
 31.03.2014
So it is impossible to know what the "backbones" of the sandwich are until you eat it!

Anything can be done by Schrödinger. Any cake is Schrödinger’s cake. You don’t know what stuff is there or if it’s there. Any closed opaque container is Schrödinger’s container. Every book is a Schrödinger book until you read it. And finally, as Lord Bertrand Russell said, "How do you know that when you turn B, the tables behind Bashi's backs don't turn into kangaroos?"

[ + 26 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №96081
 31.03.2014
to come:

"yyy> there are also very cloudy faces in the cars. So you feel how a heavy look falls on your baggage bag, as it is listening to my locked-in accent, which makes the expression of the face of the "ponaahali" becomes even stronger.

by LOL. This is how legends are born.
The man in the subway looks at your bags and pretends where you are supposed to go out, and where he, orphan, will be buried at this moment, so that this herd of baggage, instantly broken to the exit, his livelihoods from the planet did not take away at all.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №96080
 31.03.2014
Tagged with: "Antigadin"
The cat is not castrated, feeding everywhere it reaches. He went into the refrigerator and sat there. Comrade veterinarian gave some shit, they washed it operational. He kills everything forever. A 5% solution of this shit kills the Siberian ulcer. Now the cat is sent only to those places that have been wiped out by this ugliness. And first he slides her.

[ + 25 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №96079
 31.03.2014
In the wake of the opening of the bike season...
[10:07:50] the purple elephant: like the ass? ))))
The pink goose: a little hurt.
Pink hose: but not the first time
[10:08:25] violet elephant :D
[10:09:08] pink goose: don’t give god somebody will see this conversation on Skype
[10:09:10] the pink goose: ))))

[ + 15 - ] Comment quote №96078
 31.03.2014
— — — —
X: I disagree with you! I can do more than forty-six times!
— — — —
Don’t worry, lady, it’s all right.
After washing, the counter is removed.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №96077
 31.03.2014
L'voff: And I warned that the letter to Yakutia with the phrase "Good, Eskimo!" shouldn’t start...

[ + 18 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №96076
 31.03.2014
Yesterday with the boys one was taken to another city, one stated that in his 20s he never shuddered, a loud quarrel began at 2 o'clock at night. The dispute ended with my mother's words: "Not only I, but all the neighbors know who of you is shaking, stop.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №96075
 31.03.2014
The train number 625/74/58-1 Mukhosransk-Uryupino-Kozlovo – Moscow arrives on the 15th route 7 of the platform of the west wing 2 of the suburban communication station, departing 06 00 local time for 10 March. The numbering of the wagons begins in the middle of the train...” so confused Anna Karenina that she changed her mind.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №96074
 31.03.2014
At the end of the ear today heard a dialogue in the lift service company. /D/Director and /P/ethrovich (apparently a technician):
D: Is there in the fourth entrance, Petrovich?
The vertical transportation. (the elevator is really called vertical transport and there is nothing surprising about it.)
D: Well that is understandable. You can be more specific.
P: "Vertical" it is already because there from old age instead of the engine some feces are rotating.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №96073
 31.03.2014
From the news site: "In Ukraine they are introducing a ban on famous Russian social networks. They created their “Friends”. It is available only in the Ukrainian language.”
First comment: the laws of physics and chemistry need to be reworked so that the Russian discoveries are not used.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №96072
 31.03.2014
2 minutes in an English box. With the inscription "Kaxap", it turned out to be in Russian "Sahar"

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №96071
 31.03.2014
Some facts about working in an outsourcing company:
The customers at the cash machine terribly stopped the computer and had to change the mother. I came, so I started changing and here I see, there is no port for a plastic card reader on the new motherboard. I call my director, I say that and that. And he said to me:"It means putting back the old motherboard, well, pretend that you have changed something, clean the screw there well, so that at least somehow you can get up and drop from there".

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №96070
 31.03.2014
wvxvw: There is some worldwide injustice and irony in the fact that being a programmer is fashionable and the salary is good. Here the artist is the ass, but people go because the vocation. Prostitute - like paid well, but with mental problems.
So if the salary was less, or... well you understand, maybe 1MC would already decide...
Lure of Chaos: The irony is that being a programmer – you go like an artist, and it turns out, have as a prostitute.

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №96069
 31.03.2014
XXX: I got this shit.
XXX: The System
XXX: Without Side
XXX and upper cover
xx: with dust
Xxx: I know why with dust))
XXX: This is below.
xxx: power buttons as placed on the wires talk
XX: speaking brakes
XXX: I think HP is worth it.
XXX is included. He even engaged!
xxx, but there is a
XXX: on 512 operations
XXX and it works.
XXX but! A total of 11 gigs.
XXX: and free 56 MB
xxx: mmm
YYY: And what would hinder him? Mystically))

[ + 28 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №96068
 31.03.2014
XXX: No Horses
It sounds like a factory.
Tagged: electrical

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna