bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №96287
 05.04.2014
[17:08:13] Aleksandr: Trailers "The New Spider-Man 2" seen?
Nikolai: No
Nicholas: I didn’t like the new one.
[17:08:40] Aleksandr: I think the opposite of the old lie – childish quite
[17:09:04] Nicholas: and the new with the comic doesn’t match at all
Aleksandr: You know, as a child I watched the movie Red Hat, which I found in my sister’s closet. He wasn’t involved in the story either, but I liked it.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №96286
 05.04.2014
Pressure in negotiations. The comments:
What if the fight has already begun? What receptions would you recommend?
Give the phone and take a picture.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №96285
 05.04.2014
In fact, everything is much more interesting. It is forgotten about the thing that in domestic contracts is somewhere in the tail and small, and in international - the opposite. Ensuring the fulfillment of obligations. In international lending, a third party – which insures the risk of the lender – is practically mandatory.
For example: the IMF promises to give 10 billion under 20%, the EU promises to help in the same amount. Swindomite leaves saliva – that’s 20 billion backs, let’s live!
Fact situation: The IMF can give 10 billion in the form of 5 billion in money and 5 billion in goods supplies. But there is a high risk that $10 billion will not be returned. He asks the EU to be a guarantor – that is, to sign a treaty that, in case of impossibility of return, he will insure Ukraine by paying for it. “Okay,” the EU said. This service will cost 30% of the loan, i.e. 3 billion. You need to get it right away and only with money.
It turns out that of the 5 billion, there will be 2 billion, and another 5 billion will be, as Georgia in 2006, to supply 1962 production mortars, which were not useful in Vietnam because they were already outdated, but will supply them at the price of new ones.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №96284
 05.04.2014
From the Diaries

My favorite example is my younger sister. She is almost 180 cm tall. He weighs 60 kg and is thin like a branch. I eat more than my dad.
YYY: Funny, probably, to look at the youth, shaking his head to the sky
xxx: I just don't get close to her))

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №96283
 05.04.2014
I sit with my husband in the kitchen, the child rushes, climbs to him on his knees, and puts his feet on my knees. All are recorded.
I: Well, who will get my milk out of the refrigerator now?
Husband: I of course! (Extracted, gets milk without taking the baby.) I could say I married you specifically to get you milk!
I pour milk, give it to him, he puts it back in the refrigerator.
Who will get my milk?
Pause, I look at my husband, my husband looks at the child.
I did not marry this little man!

[ + 33 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №96282
 05.04.2014
They suspect something...

From a conversation with Kiev:
$11-60, gas 13-40, gas for $500, utilities twice, factories are stopping... The question of the day: to whom, to whom, to whom, the sanctions have been announced?

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №96281
 05.04.2014
Search results on torrent tracker:
On the request "1C-Logistics:Management of warehouses" nothing was found. You might be interested in "Management of Anger"?

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №96280
 05.04.2014
Secrets of longevity: in the work you have to invest everything...except health!

[ + 68 - ] Comment quote №96279
 05.04.2014
In Kiev on the street. Yaman was.
I go over the light on my legitimate green (in my hand beer), here right on me is a black x5 BMW, along with a bikini and a blinking lighthouse.
I myself am a coach with experience, and I understand that a person has a problem with the technology.
After all, everyone knows that even the most experienced mechanic or driver will not be able to predict how a half-toraton iron box with a bunch of rotating parts at high speed will behave.
Of course, I speed up the move to miss a car with some technical malfunction.
But the boom began to maneuver, right in my direction, clearly wanting to stifle without slowing down.
I made a march-throw in the direction of the rescue pillar-lightforest, the boom stopped the view with tires, and measured carefully in the middle of the zebra (remember, burned green to me).
The window opened from the boom and some little boy of 16-15 years probably started to rust, he said he only wanted to scare, and I went as the last sickle.
And rye, snuff.
I look - there is a brake track, behind the boomer the cars are already stopping - witnesses, his position on the zebra - eloquently, and I am already angry!
(I am extremely aggressive when affected by me or my interests)
I just take a bottle and fuck him on the forehead. Spray, foam, all the things. On the front of the fifth spider.
Silence... silenced and the young man behind the wheel.
I silently picked up the phone and turned on the camera.
While I was mastering the camera, I woke up behind the rough car and ran into battle:
He jumped out to me, and cried, saying, his daddy will eat me with the shit, and his bodyguard-Chechens will be fucked in the pocket.
I quietly walked around the car, shooting everything around on the mob (psychologically, I’m a troll!He returned to the wicked man.
He asked:
How much does this video cost?
He opened his mouth to answer something, but his fear in his eyes was my triumph!
He was the most unfortunate, the most worthless creature in the world, who realized that his power is now mine, and now I am over him!
Not in vain they say: I took a break – hold on!
The little bitch was apparently overwhelmed, I put my cell phone in my pocket, whispered:
Let us meet!
...and went away.
To be honest, I expected him to shoot me in the back.
But my bluff worked – it broke more than I did a few seconds before! If he knew that I had set my phone’s camera to be stored in the flash, and yesterday took it out... he would know that I couldn’t speak normally because I was enchanted... He would know that I wanted to run away as quickly as possible to drink a beer and get rid of my fright.
But it’s all dark, because I won!
And now I think, what the rich now tries not to break the PD

[ + 36 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №96278
 05.04.2014
One of our Siberia is five of France.
The whole world is worried that you are measuring your territory by other countries.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №96277
 05.04.2014
I had a mouse yesterday.
I left the job after leaving the job.
for every firefighter.
The mouse is not a slave. (shortened, there was no space) battery village
I am here (down of the note)
Stop holding the mouse in slavery. She is free!

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №96276
 05.04.2014
In Europe, since the Middle Ages, gay people have been angry, taking and burning all the beautiful babes. The idiots, ch.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №96275
 05.04.2014
I had never believed in such things before! I go for lunch, very hungry. A huge advertising shield is thrown into the eye: on a white background an elephant and the inscription "Pelmeni are real". Morgau, I look again: "The films are real". I don’t blink, I concentrate: it turns out, changes. Whether there really was an elephant there, I did not have time to consider. There was a shop "sprot" followed, that is, curtains, but these were already small things.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №96274
 05.04.2014
to this:

"hitty: the girl thinks:
HITTY: I don’t remember said or not)) Who invented the minet?
No, seriously, who awoke with the same thought "taaaaaak, today I am an ambassador member!" I can’t, it’s fun to me)"

The mines were invented by the seals - everyone knows it ;)

[ + 21 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №96273
 05.04.2014
HHH
In the words "Lost"
WOWU
Go to. I had enough pearls.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №96272
 05.04.2014
When I started training, I started to sleep better. How are you with yoga?
YYY: I am so exhausted that I sleep like a rooster
XXX: It is understandable. What positive did you notice?
yyy: noticed the instructor's ass in stretching pants

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №96271
 05.04.2014
The lady calls today.
Hi, I am from the survey service! Tell me, please, what program are you and your family watching right now?
Right now I’m looking at the accounting report, shit! In the middle of the working day!

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №96270
 05.04.2014
Five copies of age. My son is 7 years old, my wife and I tell him that in our childhood there were no comps. And it was " and the electricity was".
I say to my wife, “Thank you for not asking you about the Great Fatherland.”
The son broke through this humor and said, "Mommy, when you were a child in the cave, did the fire with sticks?"

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №96269
 05.04.2014
xxx: One government website stunned today. I go, so, and there is a standard WordPress dialog after installation - type create an admin user. They asked, they created. Walked around the admin, changed the theme to a fashionable one, turned off the comments, made a “Website on reconstruction” and left. I did not even make an account. I think the administrators were pleased.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №96268
 05.04.2014
From a conversation with a friend about how she took a notebook from the service center:
- I probably looked strange when the note was brought to me and I shouted with enthusiasm: "Friend, you are my native! He"s moved to embrace him. But this is the sex of trouble, he has glucose: a vision-impaired assistance program is automatically turned on when loading. Therefore, when my notepad responded to my welcome speeches, the entire equipment department fell into a downturn.

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