With the voice of Drozda:

The programmer shaves twice: the first beta shave and the second release, after detection of deficiencies.
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This will help you distinguish a programmer from a sysadmin who wears a beard.

xxx: I have a feeling of jumping out in this area, says a woman who has just worshipped the Darah of the Magi, holding her hand to her heart.
YYY: This is a foreign asking out.

XHH is news. "They asked to expel Justin Bieber from the country".
I’m looking forward to the news: Earth has asked to send Bieber out into outer space without a ship and a scavenger.

When the President of Russia says that there will be no devaluation, it is only a fact that the President of Russia is able to speak.
(C2) by SJ

The Gift
There was a boy with a girl. He is an orphan, raised by relatives. It is not easy for her either. And they had friends since childhood - then she helped him with lessons, then he would dig her potatoes.
They grew up and moved to a big city.
The girl has a anniversary. Just like a 25th anniversary. But... shortly before her birthday she became seriously ill, the mood at zero.
A friend would like to delight her - and what - himself "on the melt".
I thought and I invented.
He came to her in the hospital, got out of the package a toy cartridge, poured him in the body of spices, pulled the rope - cartridge and turned over.
“Here,” she says, “all girls dream that a truck with spices will turn over on their streets!
... has helped. The patient soon went to repair :-)

This can only be in our country: you sit at work and think where to make money.

I saw a shirt for 12,000 in the store. In the zoo shop. A shirt for Chihuahua.

>When the client announced that the cause of the breakdown was the fork in the screen,
We realized that we are living a boring life.

This is not the most desperate. One day a client came to me, bringing a note. The cover in the mud, the matrix broken, as if there was no pair of keys. Do, he says, everything you need, don’t even agree. On the question "How did you do so?" - told that he gave his relative to use, he went to his car and saw how a lady put his foot on the bumper and stretches the rope on the shoe. A relative fell into the bercer mode and he warmed the lady on the leg the first thing that got under the hand - just a laptop. He says he will pay for the repair of the equipment and that lady a lot more.

We have some idiot knocking into the wall and the dog has been sitting for half an hour and just looking into the wall. It looks a bit strange...

Elen: I have five people online on Skype. Smoke, Smoke, Smoke and Smoke. O_O
Dmitry: Talons gave only to smoke

The double unity.
How, so a police officer, and a bit, so an unknown citizen in the form of a police officer.

Arnold Schwarzenegger addressed the Ukrainian people.
At the end of the roll, he raises his fingers with the letter V.

and ah! So right still "V Ukraine", not "on".

In the world of the interesting: the authors of the vertical video eyes are located one beneath the other

The Winter - 20
Are you afraid that your car will be stolen?
SHYLLER: Wash it off!! + )

I have something to sing, present before God,
I have something to justify before him.
Happy Birthday to Vladimir Semenovich.

I propose to create a party of haters of parties!

YYY: In order to create such a batch, we will need to gather a bunch of evidence that we have not gathered any evidence.

XHH: Well, this is a moving, but quite feasible quest. There were quests and outbursts in our bodies of power.

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ At the visitor's request: "Please give me a certificate that you have not given me any certificates during the year" - from a public official with more than three years of experience can easily follow the answer: "Please provide proof that during this year you have not addressed us with anything!"

Someone gathered, Chuck Norris and the Nokia 3310 and decided to bet, which of them is cooler.

I opened means Mozilla and Chromium on the computer at the parents' home (I don't remember why) this action is noticed by my mom and says "You what two internet opened, for a double internet at the end of the month you will pay?"

When spouses have to divorce, share everything honestly, from the point of view of the wife - "true men leave with one suitcase"

to this:
"Baby 6 years old, addicted to WOT play... I write to chat not to mother"

Children at the age of 6 should read books, not play in tanks, then it will not be maternal!