and Fairy.

Often, tourists from the People's Republic of China behave excessively noisy and try to save on every little thing - so, in one of the five-star Maldives hotels even had to turn off the hot water in the rooms, as guests from the People's Republic of China preferred to cook the cabbage brought with them instead of eating in a restaurant.

This is a wild gastronomic dictatorship. Why can’t they eat snacks in a five-star hotel?If they want it? In their place I would be very offended, you pay that money, and you turn off the hot water in the room and are forcibly driven to the restaurant.

Will you love me forever?
What else! I will love you until I die. Then there will be seen...

Dr. Morf: “The world’s first iPhone 6 buyer dropped it after buying it”
We started to forget the guy with the dollars.

Announcement on the forum in the topic "buy/sell":
I exchange two wave-shaped poppies with a cage for a large Kitekat pack of food.

Mother goes into retirement, gathers documents. Having on dependence me as a student, may have an increase. At the first appointment, she was informed that it was necessary to obtain a certificate from the university of my actual education in it and a certificate from the University of Applied Sciences that she has dependent on me. In the second event it became clear that the certificate from the university required the date of enrollment and the order number. At the third encounter, it became clear that she needed another right that I, in turn, was on dependence. I also looked at her with huge eyes and gave another one that she has me on dependence, and said that others they do not give in principle. And indeed, it came - it needs two identical (!) The certificates. When she came for the fourth time, with a full package of documents, it turned out that the workers were on vacation, and she was given a voucher with a date for receipt of the voucher with a number and time in line when they could take it on the day indicated on the first voucher. C is legislation.

From the dialogues listened today of two, stand-alone looks, blacks.

Because things have to be called by names.
and what?
“I’m here, I’m not a deputy, so I call my things by names.
The Serpent! You are not a "vicemer", and "not a hypocrite". This is once. And you’re Dolbo@b. It’s two.
Why is?
- "your things by names"(predisposes), bl@dd!!! Tell me, "Vicemer", what is your jacket name, bl@d?

If you want to produce furor, then the wedding is not suitable - they do not justify such expectations. I got married at work. brought a cake. Everyone ate, greeted and gave gifts. Judging by her appearance, she expected more excitement from us. At the same time, we began to stress not to be late. I had been on time for a week, and then I had an emergency: on the way to work, some dough struck me, pulled into the bushes. She ran back, broke into work in torn and dirty clothes, all in blood, bleeding and angry. The police said "What is it? I am late?!", called the menta, they came in 10 minutes in several cars, put everyone on their ears, took me and left. Doug was caught 15 minutes after my call. I was murdered for 2 days with identifications, full-time rates and medical examinations. Six months of investigation and trials (there were many episodes on the day, I was the last). The next day after the emergency, half of the employees with fear did not go to work - they did not know that he was caught, and I was not. Then everyone came to see me. Local media broadcasted about this throughout the district, showing the arrested dog on local TV. I am still reminded of this story: "Are you going there?"Yes, that is where I am going. Everyone forgot about the wedding, and the newly worn wife looked at me as if I had deprived her of her legitimate fame. No one cares about your weddings.

pocketkarma: As it turned out, in Wikipedia there is a section "Fictitious warlords", it is arranged on the principle of an anecdote about kindergarten with floors "good children", "ordinary children", "bad children", "terrible children", "Vovochka".

It has the following subdivisions: "Fictitious Military Doctors", "Fictitious Special Forces", "Fictitious Generals", "Fictitious Landers", "Fictitious Majors", "Fictitious Colons", "Fictitious Soldiers" and "Stirlitz".

A friend made a cake at work, I don't remember where it came from, like from some village. Instead of the words "here" and "here" he spoke "here" and "here". At first, it caught everyone, but then they decided to enlighten him, and someone corrected: "We need to speak not there, but there!" The guy was surprised, made round eyes and asked: "And here?After this incident, the guy recovered, and the entire office except for the "here" and "here" directions could no longer be called.

D:\IslandBuyan\\Dub\Courtyard\Koney\Dog\Egg\Neck\Break.exe

Web-dis, I argue with the wrong-handed development, which inherited the site, and he, you see, can not understand "that for the code such as in general code, that to do that such..."
Writing by work Skype. I can't stand it, I offer an intimate mother call, I call - I argue.
and silence.
You are grandmother.
The grandmother herself. and correct.
You are a grandmother...
Get the news, let’s...
You are grandmother!! and cut off.
The stress. does not respond. It takes two hours and everything works. I call to thank you. He throws down, in response comes: "Distance, the non-existent unicorn. I’m not going to shoot anymore." O____O

The decree on the amputation of the middle finger of the right hand of every 18-year-old Russian in order to intimidate the enemy at first caused stupor even among unconditional patriots. For almost two days they were silent, as if they had swallowed that finger, and intensely processed information. By the evening of the second day it was over.
I admit honestly: this finger has always caused me an unpleasant feeling. I remember 27 years ago in the garden he was severely injured by opening a bottle of beer. And what do you think? No healing, half a year. I thought then, 27 years ago, "But it would be better not to have this finger at all".
And I don’t need that finger at all. Do you think I can’t do without him? What am I, shit, what am I? Of course I will do it! Ten or nine, what’s the difference? He is not suitable for anything anyway. Even in the nose you do not cover them, the caliber does not fit, and I tried every one. Go to"
I was first worried that it would be uncomfortable to scratch a puziko cat, but no, it’s okay. On the contrary, it is picky. I like the cat!"
With profound satisfaction, I have taken the decision to eliminate an ideologically alien element to us by which unstable citizens tend to show facts to all the good and bright changes taking place in our lives. Now it is simple. No Finger – No Faq"

To really want a man is when you realize that you will not be friends until evening.

My wife asked me to wash my blinds and went to the store. He picked up water, got up on the tabouret, and from the top down became a cloth to carefully wipe out every "leopard" (a messy thing, honestly).
Twenty minutes later, my wife returned, watched what I was doing, called me a fool, got up on the table, pulled off the blinds, washed the shower under the streams for a minute, hanged back.
I sit and wait for dinner.

Our power is fearless and untouchable. But, szuco, cautious: before October, for every case, the "Aurora" was overtaken.

I was now at the closing of the film festival, I saw Michael Madson and other stars, all such dressed, cockroaches strapped straight.The counterculture was represented by me, drunk, with a beard and a yellow t-shirt in mint and another guy, but he was taken by mints...

For the Chinese:

And a group of Chinese occupying several tables. Next to him were a husband and wife. The husband picked up a little bit of everything that interested him, and carefully, with the appearance of a pioneer-examiner, tried it. And the most, in his opinion, edible and safe, offered to his wife.

The wife was frightened and nervously cleansed the cooked hard egg.
and...

Good luck, good luck, good luck baby

Elizabeth II in Scotland waited for the results of the referendum.
XX: Survived, not a girl, tea
XXX: Soon there, and there... The ancestors are knocking with swords, and they say: “Lizka, shit, the state has also begun to break up, America has been crushed, India has been lost, Ireland has fallen, now Scotland, what is next – Wales?” This is a new generation for me... Ah, trust the country of Baba...
XX: And to the limit of angry Elizabeth I: "Ah, you are a dick painted..."

XHHH: Today at the FIZ-RE in 1A class a student gave! He, standing in the line, removed the cords, then pulled up the socks... Teacher in a stupa! Not immediately it came to her that the team "Five together - socks apart" the student will understand literally. Judging by the teacher’s wild hysteria after class, this is the first such case in her twenty-year practice.

to this:
4PDA, comment to the article "Google is developing a new object recognition system":

Asimo83: Google will have to work for a long time: for example, to recognize my neighbor - on Friday evening, and then on Monday morning!!! Two very different creations :)

Who forgot the classics?

"Borka drunk and Borka sober are so different people that they are not even familiar with each other"
Dwight Dwight, "The Reserve"