Listening to electricity. Phone conversation: "Yes, the guy was great, the management liked it. Today I will ask Leish, he will send the DECISION... contract... The agreement!! I want to say"
Man be saved!! to

Something happened to the opera.
She became ubiquitous.
It has been updated!

The story was 5 years ago. We were 18 years old then. From my friend flew a girl, he gathered means all of us, bought vodka and complained about life. Next follows a long story about how he didn’t have time to buy condoms, how he drank a lot and that he doesn’t know where to get money now, can abortion do. One of my comrades listened to him so long and attentively and told him: “You are a fool. Young yet. You do not think about the future at all. You have to put vodka in the freezer!" I have never seen a person in the deepest depression laugh so much.)
c) npsavin

From Habr.

Jrip: Something seems to me that if you are looking for a guru, then not the guru will come to you for an interview, but you will go to the guru)))
Mayorovp: The guru may not have his office for some reason :)
Jrip: Well there is another hint of ambiguity) that the guru will arrange an interview with the company to decide whether it is suitable for him or not)
backmeupplz: Conducting anology, companies send the guru their resumes, portfolio and cover letters :D
Andreycha: “Why do you want me to work with you?” :D
Backmeupplz: “Where do you see your company in 5 years?”
vvzvlad: "Write an example of an algorithm for giving me a salary"

Oh, you are a cake!

Sony is setting up a subsidiary to research the human genome:

Well, according to a long Sonevic tradition, they will make their own genome format, not compatible with Google, IBM and humans.

I live on the first floor, I decided to go to the store, I go out to the entrance and I hear from above, the third floor conversation between the mother and the little child. The child will find that he is tired and will not go anywhere, and his mother threatens him that he will now close the door and throw him in the entrance. Well, something dragged me, he lifted up his head and said with a terrible voice: “Let it go, I will take it!”

From the top, a clear thing, a whisper, a fast top and a cotton door. I insisted to go further. Twenty minutes later I come back with a package of food, and at the entrance there are mints. I approached and asked what happened.

So, they say, a maniac is caught.

Recently, the wire so often and intensely offers to make a backup, that it involuntarily gives the impression that if the computer still flies, then the next start of the wire will issue a message from the series: "And we offered you to make a backup, but you refused."

Today, a new air refresher appeared in the office toilet, removing the smells of pets. What are they hinting on?! to

xxx: I can’t imagine a situation in which a person, in an office full of people, would decide to watch porn. Why Why?

YYY: I couldn’t, but we did this:
— Men, say Roskomnadzor redyub amused.
Well, let’s check it out!

Comments on Snowfall in the United States:
~Kivi~: like another naive lady, the Russian winter went on to the American dream and dropped the card :(

This joke:
Well, and how many more people searched in the search engine GOST 24168-80?))

And then the CIA will sit down and break its head in a pendozy "why in Russia so jumped interest in frozen sperm of beetles? Have they really managed to create centaurs and are now establishing stream production?and "

aisilat: My girlfriend, say Alina, has a girlfriend, say Marina. And Marina has a shirt from a dead nork for 10 thousand ($ 1,200). When Marina smoked a cigarette in that shirt, the ashes fell on the shirt, which finally reached the norm. The Norka was supposed to burn, but she burned and eventually driven with burning plastic. So the girlfriend Marina in the nork coat became the Marine-defender of animals in the oil coat of fine finishing.

Here this
I sat down in the evening, thinking about my prospects. I decided that I need to motivate myself in some way to succeed. I hanged in the room tablets like “Life is Beautiful” and “Today you are better than yesterday” and so on. I slept badly at night and wept. In the morning, I slipple from the bed with a blanket, rely on the mirror - the face is dull, pale, the eyes are acidic, saliva on the cheeks, the hair is scattered into a cube. And on the mirror yesterday's sign "You are so beautiful, smile, today someone will fall in love with your smile." Good luck and shit. Rihanna hasn’t gotten well yet. It works!
--------------
Write a phrase on the mirror:
Others are no better in the morning.
This is a positive charge for the whole day.

xxxxxxxxxxx:
I'm happy in the press production, it's the shit of the PDC)
How huge he is.
10 minutes I go straight.
Not to see the end
WOW :
Can you go on a conveyor tape?

We will remember for a long time the beautiful images that Maidan gives us.
For example, in Russia there was a fragment of an interview with a demonstrator camouflaged with protective glasses and a blanket, against the background of burning tires and under maternal screams, confidently declaring that everything is peaceful and calm.

xxx: first I wanted to write "coffee delicious", then I remembered that now coffee of the middle-class, then I decided not to squeeze and wrote that "coffee is ohuenno"... Szuco, with these education reforms only on the matte and you can talk....

A man is sitting opposite
D. - He writes voice control
D. - And to start working with the thermostat you need to say hello thermostat
And he repeats it 200 times.
D. In the morning when they say goodbye to each other
He has a thermostat.
D. - And when they pass by, they also talk, he is activated and he is angry.

It is naive:

oSpa: By the way, today I realized what it is when the prede loves himself
oSpa: This is when the list of questions for the exam coincides with the title of his book.
___________________________________

This is when the department urgently requires a list of questions for approval, and you have an electronic version of your book on the hard.

Serg: And I think you don’t have to go on, but you have to open the first chapter of the argument and read about the assumptions.
Especially about anisotropy.
Every chapter begins with something we put on.
You captured the essence.

Taki purchased a gadget on Android to test the display of websites that I program. I sat down to work out the device, hearing questions and thoughts. Suddenly, from the back, the voice of his wife:
So nice when you look at the computer and ask normal, human questions.