bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №93247
 30.01.2014
to this:
In an alternative universe, for example, Homer’s Odyssey, not Sherlock, would be subjected to scrupulous bullying.
In the councils, the original version was taken, where Jason, the leader of the Argonauts, sails after the golden run.
In Greece there is a monument to Jason and Hercules.
Several full-length films were filmed, in which under special effects argonauts fight with the cyclops, stop some army there and so on.
Greece, injured by the fact that they have already removed Odyssey, shoots its version, where Jason, the captain of the Greek Navy, along with the faithful capral Hercules on the atomic submarine Argo sail to look for the gold reserves of the Reich on a map filled with sheep skin.
Later, there is a version where in a distant galaxy...

Maybe it is worth reading Odyssey first, so as not to confuse it with the march of the Argonauts?

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №93246
 30.01.2014
In the second month, the frosts are good for -40. We discuss with colleagues.
Dubai and Dubai. The difference in one letter, but what!! to
+45 and -45.
- and when you sit in one of them, you dream of another, as you get into the other, you nostalgia for the first :)
That is the paradox!

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №93245
 30.01.2014
My girlfriend came to visit. He sees my disassembled computer, from which the optical drive falls out.
Girlfriend: What is this?
I: It is a drive.
Is it full?
I: And you open it.
The disc is there! and :)
Meaning is full...

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №93244
 30.01.2014
XHHH: an iPhone costs 20tr, let me even buy it for 30tr (for example). And let it eventually be three times more expensive than its cost. Everything was cool - I wanted, I saved money, I was pleased. Funny with the car. I wanted, I accumulated, I packed for it, I paid for transportation, I paid for customs (the cost of transportation is not included), I paid the purchase tax, I paid for that I could still ride on it... now I still pay every year for the fact that my car is not shit, for the fact that it is not cheap, for the fact that I have it at all, for the fact that it is looked at (the inspection).
All kinds of insurance, repairs.
Yes, I forgot about insurance.
Repair is not considered.
Tell me at what time you get up.
What is the cost of the car
I’d rather buy a wreckage machine than a machine.
Then you will lose the tax on that it is not shit, but there will be a tax on that it is shit.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №93243
 30.01.2014
He is a biathlonist.
He likes to run fast, long and a lot.
YYY: And to shoot.
Those who run slowly.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №93242
 30.01.2014
Haber, discussion of a completely anonymous blog.
What will be on this blog?
“Today (date unknown) I (or maybe not I, just heard from someone or invented) and my friend anonymously sat in one noname cafe, in one of the big cities.
I took a cocktail, maybe tofu, maybe beef, and asked the waiter, whose name I could not remember, not to tell me. A friend took a liquid. Not going to the museum.

It was neutral. (=”

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №93241
 30.01.2014
I fought with my son yesterday.
2: Is it so?
1: yes short rules of his method, well there as always, 0 comments
1: well, you joke about the topic - you don't comment on the code, and you say the opposite, you write too hard on the stones, there is a word on the code and it's so clear what he does
2:...
Find a normal man.
2:...so that you only have a secas of common themes)

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №93240
 30.01.2014
In the operating room were a doctor, a nurse and one nurse twice entered the process.
It is almost over, the second sister is coming.
– Sergey Andreevich, are you sewing?
We sew
What are you wearing?
And here I am:
Could a cat?
Sister: "Sergey Andreevich whoever you want will do. Do you have hair?"
with a tail.
Smooth or smooth?
The Lyse!

I couldn’t talk any more, I was afraid to laugh and shake up.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №93239
 30.01.2014
by LIKE:

Hey... there are pictures where you smile like this... not sadistically?
Because this smile is definitely not the result of "Cheese", but of "Umriya".

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №93238
 30.01.2014
satellite TV provider after disconnecting the channel "Rain":

xxx: I offer NTV+ to remove this channel from the packages. He insults my feelings, because I do not like the state of the USSR and everything that is connected with it, except the Great Patriotic War, which has nothing to do with the state of the USSR, as well as the right not to return to the USSR, as well as not wanting to look at the crack and hammer in the logo.

YYY: And I’m in favor of disconnecting the Discovery family channels. These channels often talk about some kind of evolution and flights into space, and that the earth is round. It insults my religious feelings, my spiritual scratches rub into the seams of these evil channels.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №93237
 30.01.2014
Black wrote a review of the book:
Now I know what "dark fantasy" is.
They lived long, unhappy, in dirt and shit – and all died. Because that is fate.

[ + 35 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №93236
 30.01.2014
This is:

It’s hard to really worry about the life of the protagonist when you know there are nine more seasons ahead.

_______ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___

Tell it to George Martin.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №93235
 30.01.2014
News of Yekaterinburg:

A resident of Irbit confessed to the murder of a senior comrade. According to him, the conflict between friends erupted during the feast. The fact is that the owner of the apartment, in addition to the passion for alcohol, had a passion for literature and wrote prose. But his friend preferred poetry. In a dispute about the art, one of his friends struck another with a knife and fled.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №93234
 30.01.2014
The Council:

I remember historical dates of a different nature, but the date of the birthday of relatives and friends can not be remembered. I even remembered the date of the tank registration.
HH: What’s wrong with me?
------------

You will get married - get married on the day of the update release.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №93233
 30.01.2014
The head must work first. Then the hands. If you do the opposite, your ass can get sick.

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №93232
 30.01.2014
You need to lie on the bed, but put one leg on the floor. The helicopters are stopped! Learned by a well-known biologist, it works impeccably.

This is a well-known student wisdom called the "grounding".

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №93231
 30.01.2014
Fools are the best testers of any reliability system.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №93230
 30.01.2014
Take his son from school with a friend. Waiting in the vestibule for the end of the lessons, they became involuntary witnesses to the scene, as the director of the school to the guard:
You act like the last idiot. Why did you let this man in? He is drunk in the stall! From him the wrath of the wrath!
The guardian is justified:
- First, he presented a passport, confidently signed up in the journal of visits. He said he was going to the director, clearly naming your native name. Second, I told you a long time ago that the doorway is blowing in my back. So I could not smell the smell. And third, is it suddenly your old companion? Am I going to be extreme?!...

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №93229
 30.01.2014
Sex on the phone:
I’m now taking off one socks... now the second... now the third...
Are you from Chernobyl?
I am from Verkhovna. We are very cold!

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №93228
 30.01.2014
If I ever trade forests, I will name the company "Forest Trade"!

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