bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 23 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №93087
 27.01.2014
One day, near the school, a wire between the pillars began to sparkle. I tried to call, called 01, 02, 04 all but football. Where to call with such a problem I still do not know. After all, the children are taken out of the cars.

222: And what should firefighters, police or gas drivers do with the sparkling wire? Destroy or arrest?

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №93086
 27.01.2014
...We shade somehow a network in our native hospital, specifically in the fire department. <...>

At first I wondered what was such an Ozhegov sick that he had a whole department dedicated to him.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №93085
 27.01.2014
> SELECT DISTINCT gender from clients;
Found rows: 150

Among them are “8912”, “Zao"Ural”, “the mistress”, “the person”.

[ + 22 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №93084
 27.01.2014
A friend at work, on the toilet door, has an A4 sheet with the text: Video surveillance in the toilet is conducted for your safety. Suddenly I got a heart attack or slipped!!! to

[ + 24 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №93083
 27.01.2014
Nesk brought an elderly mother-in-law (c) to Ashan for the first time years ago. They separated where they needed to. The voice (the feared voice)

Xenon, where to go? You are where? I am lost!!! to

Stop, stop and no panic. Find the nearest valuable.

S-HHHHHHH...

I go, I will find.

The same story was with my mother.

Conclusion - before taking an elderly relative to the hypermarket, give him a mobile phone and learn to use it.

[ + 36 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №93082
 27.01.2014
I watched Romeo and Juliet in the theater. Before that, I had only heard about unhappy love, Shakespeare's passions, and all that. It turns out fucking there! Love was normal, everything went well. And the enmity of Montecca and Capuletti is just the initial conditions for the task of ensuring that Juliet gets rid of the crown. In fact, the shit happened because of the fact that the strategic plan of the project proposed by Brother Lorenzo was well thought out and was not brought to the main performer, Romeo, by the fault of the dude Giovanni.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №93081
 27.01.2014
Alexis - 01:07
by 22.00
Alexis at 01:08
Darkly
Alexis at 01:08
I hear a woman’s voice – "Sorry..."
Alexis at 01:08
Maybe the road wants to ask...
Alexis at 01:08
not
by Alexy 01:09
“Sorry, you don’t know why people are so angry and unwelcome?”
Alexis at 01:10
hardly kept from sending... replied – "Because it’s cold"
by Alexis 01:11
I laughed... I didn’t go further, I realized that turning me to the side of the Good won’t work.

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №93080
 27.01.2014
From the discussion of the news "The resident of Astrakhan changed gender" on the Lente:



xxx: A resident of Astrakhan, who borrowed the houses, changed gender and now literally put the word on them *** :D

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №93079
 27.01.2014
The Black Humor Page

We pull somehow a network in our native hospital, more specifically, in the fire department. After installing the next connector and connecting a pair of computers, I smelled burnt, which I immediately shared, afraid that we have some computer now to stumble. My boss squeezes negligently with his hand and says that the new ones have been taken. I came back for a few minutes...not from laughter at all.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №93078
 27.01.2014
by Pikachu:
XHHH: I did the exam.
Oh, that is the fifth.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №93077
 27.01.2014
We went with a friend to our animal shelter. Driving on the Minsk highway in the ice quickly does not work, set up behind the fur in the right row. She is driving, I look in the window, we watch girls of light behavior on the side from the cold ( -20 on the street). I: Is it really bothering them?
Q: Well, the work is interesting.
I: And what is it that is interesting?
Q: Well adventures, different places, a lot of new things to see. I want to learn the same!!! to
When she understood what we were talking about different professions... our laughter even shaken the car a little.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №93076
 27.01.2014
From Picaboo:
My friend Leah told me. He was 17. And to his father, with his mother in divorce, came a young girl of 25. Well, for love pleasures, to extinguish and all that. There was no dad. A bell at the door. He opens up. It’s there, let’s call it Marina. He says Dad is not home. She – I’ll wait. They were lying on a double bed and watching TV. Hour two. Then she left. His father came tonight. Leah said, Marina came to you. My father replied, and what? We sat down and looked at the telecast.
Father, he is Blade, Leha, you are so virgin and you will die.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №93075
 27.01.2014
I am poor.

You are not poor.

I am not poor.

Poverty defines society, but it is not your essence.
You are not poor.
not rich

Anthony: Yes
I am a layer between the extreme sinusoids of life.

[ + 44 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №93074
 27.01.2014
... like another naive grandmother, the Russian winter went on to the American dream and dropped the card :(
_______ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___
Come on, you are in the wasteland! I was worried about the lack of snow.
Ufa: -30, snow - even the ass you eat from mid-November.
Surgat: -46, similar and even earlier.
And this, mill, is only the closest to you "foreign".

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №93073
 27.01.2014
Literally a couple of days ago I saw the rainbow belief in magic and miracles break from the hard surface of harsh reality. I finally got a slider shirt. I wore it the next day. I stand on the subway platform, next to the column, waiting for the train. Not far away stand a boy with a girl and a 5-year-old boy. The boy touched me for a long time and smiled. Suddenly, all the pain of thought is reflected on his face and an idea comes to his mind! With a penetrating cry "Gallie! Hagrid!" The child is rolling his forehead into the column! The world is harsh (

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №93072
 27.01.2014
I have a strange thing under the gentleman.
Everything works with ZBS.

[ + 57 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №93071
 27.01.2014
As a man who grew up in the Soviet Union, I cannot even look at the contour of modern Russia, it seems to me circumcised.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №93070
 27.01.2014
xxx: The law on insulting the feelings of believers has been adopted, so be more careful in statements about Apple!
Yyy: But there is a law on propaganda of homosexuality :)

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №93069
 27.01.2014
xxx(admin): Secretary is sabotaging her company)) What do you think to agree?
Tagged: horse
XXX: Promises to Shurmiu
YYY: And the secas?
XXX: Sabotage of comp and secas for one shaurmeau? Not a little?

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №93068
 27.01.2014
The hugs...

“Don’t spit on me, I’m good!
He said, “After all?
I: Why not shuffle, or why is it good?
He asked: What can I spit on?

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna