Can I drink on Friday?
Maxim: Let’s just kick it first, and there it will go.)

...there was a matter... so 7-10 years ago, sent a brother to the store, for bread and tomato pasta... well what do you think? He brought 2 kilograms of sugar and cried with tears and said, “Maya, forgive me, did I break the mayonnaise along the way?” I am still being sent to the store.

here here :
There is a bell at the church. If she wakes up the whole area at 9 a.m. on Sunday, is it right to call her a bell?
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This is still lucky for you, you do not have a minaret under your side, from which 5 times a day (at the same time, once after sunset, and one before dawn) oreth the muezzin, and oreth as not dreamed of the sirens, warning the air defense..and yes, no weekends.

Middle black white grey
We made our world colorful.
Coloring on Fridays.
Alcoholic

Delirium

to this: "xxxx: what about people who work in the 2/2 chart? They never wait for Friday"
For people with a 2-day schedule, Friday comes immediately after Monday.

The inscription on the women's toilet of the Faculty of Applied Mathematics and Computer Science: "Please don't throw the test weld into the dishwasher because it clogs the stack."

here here :

<...> this madman put all the bosses on the ears, achieving that they spent 20 kilograms of iris for construction needs.

__________
This is how the bricks stick to each other, it turns out...

Most Russians are in favor of the death penalty.
The government went to meet the people and executed the majority of Russians.

The case was now. In the corridor near the chief engineer's office, network workers changed the cable for a false push. Well, we put the strap curved, the work utility with the tool to fix the cable - strap and went, and he smoothly went along the wall, making three flat beads. Two of the legs and one of the instrument. Like an ambulance.
Wallpapers, of course, from such a fence and began to stick away from the wall with flat strips. The worker lies on the floor in anticipation of payment.
At the noise of the office, the chief engineer comes out, looks at the worker, at the wall, at the scattered stripes of wallpapers, says "Rosomaha, grind" and goes back to the office.

No wonder my mother is waiting for the fourth.
The fifth child just doesn’t have time to read this nonsense.
You know the family is concerned.)

--------
The moment of truth. So, my mom had no time to read this nonsense, the worries, the troubles, the simple female happiness, and my dad (who has a fourth or fifth child) just had time to read this nonsense, and write, increasing it even more. Even the house can be built. He should have at least three more children, or something he does not feel any concern and trouble.

She is watching TV in the neighboring room. Then the child screams:
Paaap, look at me! Homosexuality is shown!
I’m running, what’s there for the homosex... I’ve got the cartoon The Secret of the Third Planet. The moment when the bulldozer appears...

In terms of HR, I will say this: if the candidate for the profession is not his future boss, but a specially trained TP, then such an organization is seriously sick. The person should be taken to work, not his questionnaire data. And this man his future boss should see himself, and speak to him.
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What do you have in your account for "procated" for a hundred dollars?
Well, that means it didn’t run...

Strange night shopping.

Once I had to run (run - literally), at 3 o'clock at night to the 24-hour pharmacy to buy paracetamol, antihistamines, painkillers, patches, burn remedies and a lot more. The pharmacist, seeing that I was running and listening to the list, compassionately asked what had happened to us.
And we had a flight of children to Egypt, in 15 minutes a taxi had already arrived, and they could not find their package of medicines for any case.

I am truly surprised by the dissatisfaction of this rapist. He, therefore, destroyed and destroyed the lives, the future of many people and their loved ones, and decided that after sitting down he paid for everything? Everyone around me is so bad, but unpunished, and I’m out and still the worst of all? Are you really stupid? People who throw away other people will one day get theirs too. Hypocrites and others will one day face the same treatment, but already in their own direction. Selling mint will be sold by friends, and the hideous man will burn a house or a car. Or do you think these sales fools have beautiful families? There are bugs, there are bugs and they live at home. And you walk on this earth as long as you can, shit, and suffer! See how your family is tormented for your sins and suffer from your powerlessness. Torment as you tormented other people who could not help their daughter after you, the fool, and your fucking friends! I hope you will live a very long and very unhappy life and die alone. Everyone gets their merit, sooner or later. On their own, or through their children and grandchildren.

Pearls of Logic:
and allo! Give the oil!
There are no such.
Is it phone 11?
and yes.
Is it accounting?
This is an engineering center.
This is not the 11-11.
- O_O

Our rector ballots for the elections to the Verkhovna Rada, the entire universe travels with agitation in the areas. We agitate as if it were the last time, for ourselves, with the soul. All because no one has seen the previous rector after winning the election, we wish it the same :) For you, the country, what we are disgusted with.

An optimist is a person who, even in a deep ass, tries to be more comfortable.

This story was told to me by comrades "on the force part".
It happened in the early 2000s.

In Moscow, a disabled man lived quietly. He worked in the garage, made all kinds of things for the farm, which he later sold on the market through acquaintances. My wife worked in a small public office like a babysitter in a kindergarten. The son studied at the institute in Moscow, lived in a dormitory and worked. The life of this family was quiet and unpleasant - because the money was constantly lacking and the apartment was one-bedroom, but people kept and did not despair.
And one day the son, deciding to stand on his feet and help his parents meet old age with dignity, fit into an interesting and highly profitable business. He was so profitable that in a couple of months he bought a car, dressed up and brought his parents guests every week. But in the third month, things suddenly swelled, after which, in addition to the sale of the car, the guy formed a particular debt to very serious uncles. They were eager to get money by any available means, including the sale of the parent’s living space. A disabled father, joining up with his son, brought the certificates and found out that the son was in a very cleverly arranged affair. The essence of it to disclose for a long time, but as a result the son turned out to be extreme and in case of non-payment of money over him hanged a serious and quite real criminal article.
A well-known local, who preserved the remains of humanity in our difficult time, explained elaborately that behind the murderers are uncles, who are not what he is, but the head of his boss in the headquarters honors and opens the door. Therefore, there are no options with a criminal case even in theory.
A disabled father, who had never drank before, locked himself in the kitchen with a bottle and sat alone all night. In the morning he called from home to someone, asked to transmit that he was calling and stayed at home.
But nobody called back. The man drowned, drank more vodka and cried for the first time in many years.
The wife who came in the evening did not recognize the husband - he was condemned and aged in front of his eyes. Having embraced him, she began to say that the main thing is that everyone is alive and healthy, that they can go to the village and live there, even in poverty, but in love and harmony.
At that moment, the door was called. The wife opened and saw on the threshold a full-length man in an elegant costume. He gave her a bag of food and a bottle, then rushed to the disabled and hugged him. The disabled man cried, saying, “I thought you’t come.” How could I forget!” “Who are you holding me for?”
Sitting at the table, the disabled man honestly told the man who arrived everything that happened to his son in the last couple of months. They sat at the table all night, and the woman could not close her eyes behind the wall. She had never seen this person before - except for courtyard acquaintances, with whom the disabled man mastered something, he never communicated with anyone. And how can he have such acquaintances - one cognac is worth more than the whole family earned in a month of hard work.
The case was so. It was the 1960s. A distant working village. Ordinary children. Simple games and entertainment. Everything more honest and simple. Spring, but on the street the frost is the north. A group of 15 boys aged 8-12 years, having decided to test each other for courage, went to the river 7 kilometers from the village. We had to walk on the thin ice. One of the boys, deciding to show his courage, separated from the group and began to jump in the most subtle place. The ice broke and the boy was in the ice water. He went into the pit with his head. Of the 15 boys, only one was not scared. Throwing off the walnuts and the coat, he dive into the pier and with the help of other boys pulled out a barely alive boy.
7 km to the village. Both are wet, no spare clothes. The dwarf gave his palm to the drowning, the others gave what they could - on the street cold. Both were dragged to the village - the drowned man could not walk himself. The rescuers were also helped. On the way, they swore that they would all tell the same thing - that they just went to the river and the two accidentally fell under the ice. Because the village is small, the people are tough. The men were frightened and kept their word. The boy who drowned was sick for a long time, but he was very lucky and he was completely healed in a few years. The boy who saved him at the age of 11 became disabled for life. He then left the village and never met anybody from his hometown again. And before leaving, he said to the guy he saved: “I gave you life. Live by conscience. Help the people. And forget about me - trouble will come to my house - I will remember myself."
Not a dozen years have passed. The guy, who was saved by the current disabled, rose above the stars, becoming one of those who can call portraits simply by name and calmly talk to them about life.
And here, one day, the secretary said that there was a call in the reception room from an incomprehensible man, marked in the waiting sheet "always connect", but at the same time not once in all the years.
The rest you know.
The epic of this story is both joyful and sad at the same time. Yes, the "axis nest" of attackers was dispersed and erased from the face of the country. There was no loud thing, but if you take the newspapers of those years, the number of arrests and resignations was impressive. Some have destroyed their own. Someone fled abroad, feeling fried.
From all the proposed benefits, including the employment of his son to an elegant place under the "self", the man principally refused. He just reached his goodbye hand, asked for himself not to worry and to help other people.

Do good and remember that on any clever ass...

A beautiful Russian girl named Vasilisa married a Bulgarian boy named Svetlan. Now their child carries the brains of others, saying that his mother is called Vasya, and his father is Light.

And all because you have to say "from HR'a". And with HR'a you can only go down.
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And if you say "from the staff department" - there will be no confusion at all :)