bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №90647
 05.12.2013
In the case of George Martin's books, the phrase "The Name of the Character" will die in the next chapter is not a reason not to read the book and be angry with the spoiler. Only a slight confusion appears. It’s like you’re told, “In the winter, it’s a new year,” presenting it as a fresh news.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №90646
 05.12.2013
Thanks for the grading of media content by age categories such as 12+, 14+, 16+... Now I can easily determine which movie to watch with my mom, and which is better to protect her delicate psyche.

[ + 36 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №90645
 05.12.2013
The bachelor must be obtained in a year and a half.
If you recognize yourself, no insults. This cannot not be shared.
__________
My friend, who received a red diploma from the institute, two years after graduating, claimed that the sun revolved around the Earth! It was impossible to prove the opposite.
____________
This is something else! I still remember when my classmate in high school said that children are born through the navel! Apparently, in pregnant women, the navel is always specially convex, so that it is more convenient to cut off, and then through the resulting hole and the child goes out))) At that time, she was unable to prove that this is not the case.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №90644
 05.12.2013
The microwave is evil!
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
I forgot the circle in it.
I was looking for two days

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №90643
 05.12.2013
At the end of the day, everyone is in a good mood. The chief calls our colleague:
Listen, what is Natasha’s name?
Is it with Natasha? of Rostov.
K – Aha thank you!
For whom did he ask?
N - A HER knows him!

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №90642
 05.12.2013
SPB is pleased:

hhh: bggg, cup of your search))

Where to go? 8)

You are the champion, you are the champion, you are the champion.

[ + 25 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №90641
 05.12.2013
Welcome to Education! Today in the clinic my aunt requested a doctor urologist-anthropologist.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №90640
 05.12.2013
I walked and did not hear that I had thirty missed things.
xxx: Called my mother’s rom and shouted in a crash that something happened to me
After I found out all this, I called him.
XXX: Naoral on me and threw the phone
Better they found my body in the cane.
XXX: What other people’s expectations are deceiving

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №90639
 05.12.2013
The arrival of the American delegation in Chisinau:

I walk quietly through Pushkin Park, I talk on the phone. Approaching the fountain, someone in shape flies to me from my back, and stands in front of me, blocking my passage. I put a phone.

You cannot come here!
Hm, and who can?
No one can!

This is a conversation between the deaf and the blind. I try to help a person who, by the way, didn’t even think of introducing and explaining the reason for my stop.

That is, do you prohibit me from freely moving around the city, thus violating my constitutional rights? After this phrase he hanged for about a minute...

The second person suits. Probably smarter...

A delegation has arrived in the city, you cannot come here!

A wild troll is awakening in me. Please introduce yourself, I don’t remember the names.

Are you a law and police officer?
Uncertainly so.
Do you want to protect the citizens of Moldova?
- Yes
- Are the members of the delegation so dangerous and terrible that you have to protect law-obedient citizens of our country from them for 2 streets?

The pause was long in eternity... But the second policeman (or whoever she is there), standing at that moment with his back to me, was as hard as to rattle. :DDD

[ + -3 - ] Comment quote №90638
 05.12.2013
DB to this:
and
A weak Olympic torch on our Jewish Maidan? The weakness...
and
and easy. This will ST. Rygina Polina with ananas on the hook.

The line went to bed, the colleagues quietly slipped under the table, the wife burned, the tram cried, the curtain

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №90637
 05.12.2013
There is no human problem that could not be solved with a good old hydrogen bomb.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №90636
 05.12.2013
My daughter is so cute.
xxx: she painted her dad, mom and herself, she swallowed her heart
xxx on the wall
xxx: the cockroaches

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №90635
 05.12.2013
The true friendship:

X: Can you fuck it?
Yes, I will feed you again.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №90634
 05.12.2013
XXX: So I decided to play a mid-range game. First the barbarians came and plundered the worker, then the Germans came and plundered the city. Then the Zulus came and pushed my wheel, which he did not want to give to my ass. Then the Germans again stormed and you already know where the entire Colossus of Rhodes is. Well, I have one town left with nothing on the trunk. Ohhhh he played!

yyy: New textbook "History of our Motherland"

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №90633
 05.12.2013
About the names. We had captain Lieutenant Pedevichus in the unit - guess from 3 times how all his names were. And the phrase from a good acquaintance: "We work in the office with Beglyuk, Tashkun, Weisman, Bezkrovajny and a woman with a strange name Dmitriev."

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №90632
 05.12.2013
Maybe I need someone.

But this one is far away.

Looking out loudly

Necessary to me

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №90631
 05.12.2013
Looking at the level of corruption, and the amount of money stolen from the budget, it creates the impression that officials want to buy in hell a boiler with cold water.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №90630
 05.12.2013
An acquaintance (working in a company that sells computers) is blackmailed by an accountant, an adult woman, aged 45+ on a corporate basis: Make a drill in the base, or drink, like a fool!!! to

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №90629
 05.12.2013
XXX is
I want to go to the sea.
YYYY
Who is it
XXX is
WHAT WHO?
YYYY
Who is it
XXX is
and bleed. What is the question?
YYYY
Who is fucking?

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №90628
 05.12.2013
X: Now here with one grandmother just under a huge truck did not get on the square.
X: And, by the way, it was the red trailer of Coca-Cola.
X: You know, when you’re standing by his dirty bumper, he’s not so cute.
X: And two naked, puffy rows in red vests in the cabin are generally awful...

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