bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №90627
 05.12.2013
Personally, I divide women into two categories: cats and chickens.Cats rarely friends with other cats, and if they are friends, then with few. Chickens are always easy and fun to gather in the chickenhouse and happy in it. Every chicken thinks of herself as a swan.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №90626
 05.12.2013
The most primitive human organism is a crowd.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №90625
 05.12.2013
The Poor:

So why does she clean the mandarines and is already perfect? And I clean the mandarines and collect socks around the apartment, and all over the city I look for the shampoo that he likes. And all this in silence, without complaints. I am not perfect anyway. Sometimes even a bitch.
Sorry for not being in place. It hurt.

Because, unlike you, she can choose the perfect guy for herself.

[ + 51 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №90624
 05.12.2013
Oprisk brought a print from the job site: a lawyer 24 thousand rubles, an economist 23 thousand, a doctor 25 thousand - all have a diploma, a foreign language, advancement of qualifications and experience from five years, and a driver of an electric truck on the warehouse of a liquor 75 thousand rubles, no experience is needed, no bad habits.
- Better immediately give me the money that you started on my education at the university, because there is no point in investing them so badly.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №90623
 05.12.2013
I did nothing, but I did it myself.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №90622
 05.12.2013
Melanie (14:22:33 26/11/2013)
With the men? I have 3 ladies complaining that there is no sex in the family.
Fatamorgana (14:22:44 26/11/2013)
I am the fourth
Melanie (14:22:59 26/11/2013)
You are the first :)

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №90621
 05.12.2013
...I don’t know how you do, but in the last two years my average salary has increased by 2.5 times... I don’t live in Moscow! If you want to get more, turn, no one will put anything in your mouth!

You have put something in your mouth and your income has jumped sharply?

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №90620
 05.12.2013
Estonian puppies are so slow that they can move back into the past.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №90619
 05.12.2013
The annual honeymoon. and inspect. As always, it goes very fast. After going through several doctors, I go to the oculist. The young girl is sitting like that, writing something, distracted and asking, “Are you wearing lenses today?” and I say, “Yes.” Then, through a special device, the eye looks. One eye looked, the other. Again something writes and asks without distraction the question: "Do you have monthly?". I sit in shock. I think that the ophthalmologist asks herself questions, how she defined it, in her eyes she enlightened something, and even wrong. I sit silently, I don’t know how to answer. Seeing my confusion, she clarified: "The lenses are monthly or weekly?"

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №90618
 05.12.2013
Helped a friend to set up the plugins for chrome.

King_Dragon is a guy! You have a big bubble!
Peg2s: This is the best compliment for me in the last couple of years.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №90617
 05.12.2013
It is said that after the Olympics there will be a squad of return fire to Greece. No less extensive.
Yyy Swimming through the Bering Strait, skiing through Greenland, and on parachutes - over the volcanoes of Iceland. With short stops in the Falklands, Maldives, Seychelles, as well as in the Old Vassyuks.

[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №90616
 05.12.2013
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I wrote now the phrase in English for foreign suppliers "the goods crossed the border", sealed and it turned out "the good crossed the border". Goods and goods. In the context, it turned out like a thriller: "Good crossed the border of Russia. Nothing more can be done. to Goodbye. " and
yyy : )))))

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №90615
 05.12.2013
xxx>It is not that, but monarchical individuals...
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №90614
 05.12.2013
to this:
I hear in the subway a fragment of a girl’s conversation: “The shoulder of a woman is the face of her husband.”
I presented...

............
Immediately recalled the portrait of Chubakki on Mike.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №90613
 04.12.2013
Misha
Is it normal? I cooked her meat and she married me.
Roosevelt
Stay calm, you live in the age of victorious feminism.)

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №90612
 04.12.2013
With Mailer:

Negroes in America should be called African Americans, and narrow-eyed then what?
The miniature

[ + 24 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №90611
 04.12.2013
This is what << says:

"xxx: My brother is offended and doesn’t talk to me
YYY: What do you have there?
You know, we’re waiting for a third. Yesterday we went to the ultrasound, they said, three boys will be
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
XXX: The names are invented. What would you call the three twins?
YYY: Of course, Willy, Billy and Dilly
That’s what I said..."

How can this be offended? How is? I would laugh, because it is really cute and fun. Why do fun men get only the outspoken TP (forgive me the author and his wife), who absolutely, absolutely do not understand the joke?
Madame is disturbed.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №90610
 04.12.2013
Communicate with two 1C programmers:

1: Tell me how to remove the gaps in the sum?

2: Whose faults, let him repay.

[ + 33 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №90609
 04.12.2013
Russia will buy snow from Israel for the Olympics. Russia is buying snow. in Israel.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №90608
 04.12.2013
I sit in the hospital, three inspectors enter the surgeon's office, light a laser on the wall, go out unhappy and say your mother, we have been here for an hour and everything matches everywhere, went better to school, there we will earn more. I don’t know what to think now.

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