bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 42 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №90407
 30.11.2013
- So what did you set up here - spikes, spikes... much have you seen on the roads of Kamaz, buses or trolley buses on spikes? Spikes should be in the head, not in the wheels! Carroche - what tyres are worth - summer or winter, this is only true for the lashar, who do not know how to ride! Learn to ride!
No, there’s no money on whom?
and ah :(

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №90406
 30.11.2013
I can’t imagine the fifth Terminator – Schwartz is already old, where he can run, break his jaw, jump on a motorcycle from the squad...

Make a movie in Chinese style. An old man, whitened with grays, taught by the experience of centuries, the Terminator sits on the bank of the river, plays the flute and waits for the bodies of enemies to pass by him!

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №90405
 30.11.2013
Bulgakic, bulgakic, bulgakic, bulgakic, bulgakic, bulgakic and without doping. And who is it? To scandalize, to confuse, to disturb, to upset.

The bed is overwhelmed, rotted.
"Sir" to you to translate, child?

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №90404
 30.11.2013
From the talk of a new order of grants and in general of vases
xxx - I know a person who changed the new 9-k to the new 8-k just because it's "buy".
YYY - Yes, any way doesn't even reach the plateau.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №90403
 30.11.2013
He had problems with the girls, and now he also bought a sitroën.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №90402
 30.11.2013
What are your plans for the evening?

Throw pieces of human body into the toilet. I plan a murder tonight.

Oh oh oh!!!! to

The man cut his nails, cut the cuts on the floor.

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №90401
 30.11.2013
to this:

If you judge by how modern women dress, they need sex much more than men.

To give as they dress...

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №90400
 30.11.2013
Conversation between the programmer (P) and the tester (T):
P: It is great! This is my bag, I did not study this case, I will fix it!
T: I really feel like an offgenically needed person for the project :D
T: straight without me as without a mowing hose!!! to

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №90399
 30.11.2013
The Zoo :

"This is a slice:
This Baron
(blah blah blah blah blah blah

- Boys, you would find two more, and in Bremen...

[ + 17 - ] Comment quote №90398
 30.11.2013
To love everyone, you don’t have to trust everyone.

[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №90397
 30.11.2013
In the evening accidentally caught a look on the first channel series "Kill Stalin". Everything as always: a striking title, the main roles are the coolest actors of modernity, the twisting plot and the atmosphere of war times. But for some reason I do not believe. And it's not about the game of "genial" actors or the script, but in the little things.
The first. In the winter of 1942, a simple girl fries her lover, not even the colonel, but the captain of the counterintelligence operational group, eggs for breakfast. Probably simply went to the store and loaded dozens of fresh eggs on the cards. In fact, in the packet for organ workers, in the best case, there was an egg powder. But it's okay, maybe I missed something from the plot and the eggs the brave captain bought on the market at a fabulous price or they were given to him in gratitude for his sensitive attitude to the population of ordinary Soviet people. possibly.
The other is no gate. The brave captain, again with this girl, is watched as children in the courtyard throw snowballs into the snowman imagining they are killing Hitler. Then the phrase of the captain, who seems to be 40-45, sounds just wonderful: "And we as children only played in Chapaeva." The curtain. When the captain was a child, the king was still on the throne. For reference: Chapaev became a truly popular hero after the release on the screens of the famous film of the same name in 1934.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №90396
 30.11.2013
He recently travelled here from Karelia to Moscow in a plateau wagon with a folk choir of grandmothers. Twenty men, two of whom are harmonists. In the same car were drunk dembles. So Dumbledore asked Grandma to be quiet.

[ + 36 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №90395
 30.11.2013
In Germany, a police officer ate his lover. The wild country.

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №90394
 30.11.2013
I play on a tablet in a popular toy "Words of the word".
Coincidentally I guessed the word KIP. Hm... what a word is that... I knock on it to find out the meaning. "A hole in the youth". To be clear, it became clearer.
Leah in search. Better I’t do that! and Wikipedia:
"Uphers ( Niderl. juffer - a virgin) - a round lens shape unshakable block
Three holes in the shape of the hole,
triangle, for the conducting of the thalreap loops. andquot;

How can I forget it now?!! to

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №90393
 30.11.2013
I’m ashamed to admit, but when I was learning to repair computers I was trying to put Windows on Mac. Windows on Mac is not installed. But I didn’t know it, and, fucking, I found it. My colleague tried to repeat, almost slept to the foxes, but, crazy, could not repeat. He knows that the window on the Mac is not installed.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №90392
 30.11.2013
XXX is Masha. I need a calendar with naked men.
YYY : Okay! I will deal with this question!
The truth is that the director will not let him hang in the office.
YYY is permitted. And you will be on interesting places sticker with tasks hanging! And we’ll say that your tasks are on the whore!

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №90391
 30.11.2013
Drinking to the bottom of the cup
I am fast and all-powerful.
Save the planet from evil.
This is the former call.

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №90390
 30.11.2013
I work in the fire safety inspection service. Arriving at the object. by every 100m fire extinguisher. The second is the fire extinguishing system. The third nothing. I ask – why? The answer is simple: we don’t need it. We have one spark - and the whole factory explodes - we will not have time to extinguish it.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №90389
 30.11.2013
My former non-drinkers.
I don’t drink either.

We never call each other.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №90388
 30.11.2013
In the forum, from the topic of puzzle elements:
...the story was told, about one rationalizer, who decided to split a healthy ceramic shape of titanium barium instead of cutting on a machine, with a toothbrush. Just like that, I put a tooth and chandelled.
He is still alive, but a rabbit. He burned in order.

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