I seem to have come up with a way to check my smartphone for how much it holds a conversation from one charge.
You just need to call the MTS technical support.

>> you know what girls say when seeing a big penis?
>> I don’t know...
>> xxxh: a loser, and I know.
They say, “I will not be in the pope.” Who is the loser after that?

19:42:30 A.Savkin: On the male attractiveness scale, how many points do I score (from 1 to 10)?
19:43:18 Irina: well 7
19:43:18 A.Savkin: I warn you, if you answer 8 or more, you will have to have sex with me...
19:43:22 Irina: 8!

Santjagodeross: He is an idiot! I wanted to make a nice acquaintance and compare her eyes with the eyes of Lani! You have a goat’s eye!

Vancho084: Now read about various funny laws. Is it true that you in Ukraine must have a condom in a car pharmacy?
Aaron: It is true. Do you have no such? But I heard that he was not there for a direct appointment.
Vancho084: We have never had that. Recently, all medicines were removed from the pharmacy. And here we fantasize about why a condom in the pharmacy box. There is a belief that sex is the best medicine. He beat the grandmother, sharply burned the prejudice, and went to treat... You see, and in the process, the bruises pass, the fractures become more severe...

The game chat
Hill and Crete have fallen.
Chili is little...
- catch leadership, I will run away for a short time... *comes back * oh, the stomach turns ((
Take Furosalidone
Is it the nick for the invade or the name of the medicine?

The innocent victim:

and Luigi! Are you wondering where "Hinduism" comes from in Russia? This year. One of the universities of the country. IT is a group... Out of six people, only two people know Russian normally... They are also capable of working code in pascal. Half falls in panic with the word "root"...

I try painfully to figure out: where did I go so wrong that I got into this kindergarten?? to

Did I honestly give it to EVA?
And now you study with those who have enough money to pay the same points.

The third week I eat anxiolytics and sedatives (a sedative shorter). Interesting effect came out: I get angry all the same, but it ceased to worry absolutely =)

from ZH

misha_makferson: I listened to a religious-educational conversation on the radio at dinner today. The priest whom he questioned was a practising priest. So he bitterly said that in the turn to the Communion, good parishioners often start to scandalize, push, and sometimes even fight. Not a fucking shit?

cmpax_u_pagocmb: The inheritance of the USSR, what do you want.In the turn it is supposed to scandal, push and fight, otherwise you will not get the deficient goods.

misha_makferson: The grace of God is enough for all and will still remain. and :-)

cmpax_u_pagocmb: The Soviet man is not to be held. He knows that good is never enough for everyone.

If the forbidden fruit is not sweet, then you are not yet mature!

Navy awakening
My friend serves in the navy. He shared his impressions of the harsh army days.
The ship had to clean the oil residues of the tank. It was decided to involve the entire crew - 10 terminators and 5 contractors.
In order not to spoil the slaves, the Botsman brought clothes from секонд-hend. For some reason, she turned out to be a woman. The harsh military days turned into a gay parade or a transvestite show.
Then the crew was announced.
Cap went out, looked at all this unnecessary, cried and went back to his cabin.

Judging from the current textbooks, a compulsory drug check is needed not in schools, but in the Ministry of Education.

From an explanation of the recursion on one of the training programming websites:
Recursion is a fairly common phenomenon, which occurs not only in the fields of science, but also in everyday life. For example, the Droste effect, the Serpinsky triangle, etc.
I probably don’t know anything about my everyday life.

- and why has no one invented a business on the machines, issuing tickets in the subway for seats, to do? Like a professional bodybuilder / catcher - seats you on a ticket :)

Look at what terrible green bread we have in our bakery! (Really terrible green mold with bright yellow spots)
Don’t throw away the zombies.

The average Russian man brushes his teeth with a Finnish toothbrush, squeezes on it a German toothpaste, shaves with an American shaver, sits in the kitchen of the Swedish Ikea, drinks Brazilian coffee, wears an Italian suit when he leaves the apartment, closes the entrance door to the English castle and goes to work in a Japanese car. When riding on the Russian road, speaking in Russian and traveling around the country’s cottage trees and shrubs, he turns on a Japanese radio receiver and listens to the songs of the First Channel “Voice” contest in English. At work, he climbs into the office on a Dutch elevator, enters the office with the label "merchandising department", turns on an American computer with "Windows", enters the Internet created by the Americans, enters the web address of the native social network in English letters, and after getting into his account writes on the blog: "We will not let the damned West enslave our Russia."

There is no logic in this, but there is a place of patriotism.

to this:
M is
I am playing a completely crazy game.
by STIM

M is
There is "not playing this game for 5 years"
— — — —
What is the game, Chief?

Women are clever, so as not to lose their socks, they tied them to cowards and called them "colleagues."

I live in a Russian folk fairy tale.
For a week I give the cat a liquid medicine and I constantly see how "on the cheeks flowed, and the mouth did not get"

Mom: You need to do a reference on the subject "National goals of Russia".
I: Oh, the seeds to click on to drink the barley?
Yes the state!
I: Money out of the people?
Army is there, education?
I am : A! Break it all! Okay, I will do it.