bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №89847
 18.11.2013
Discussion of the coming end of the world.
M: It is on this day that the god One will be killed by the giant wolf Fenrir. According to the legend, only two people will survive, and they will give life to a new civilization.
V: In the light of current trends, these will be two men.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №89846
 18.11.2013
Responses of the manager at the gym:
You have no water in your shower.
Am I a sanitary?

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №89845
 18.11.2013
I recently drove an electric car. I go out to Tampere and a 15-year-old girl follows me. To open the door to another car, you need to press a button of 5-6 centimeters in diameter, illuminated by LEDs around the circle. Press the keyword. The girl approaches that button and barely touches it and nothing happens. The second, third, fifth time is the same. Visibly having decided that the door broke he returns to the one through which it entered the tamper, naturally, already closed. What was her surprise that her "pressures" here have the same effect as last time. Here I have already regretted and with the words "Girl, this is not your iPhone" pressed the button, releasing an astonished miracle from the captivity of the tambour.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №89844
 18.11.2013
Lying and provocation! Until 20 years, there were no mammals, then they grew up, born)
Yyy: By the way, this is your favorite part of the body))
XXX: Breasts are like cats ^_^ and you don’t have it?
zzz:"Oh, what kind of cute, and can you chew?"

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №89843
 18.11.2013
I was in the cinema yesterday. Advertising for horror films. A group of Russian tourists went to Finland for shopping, where at night they were taken to a store, where the sellers turned out to be vampires and began to kill buyers. Everywhere screams, blood, and music are playing loud. And then, in the silence that came, a man’s voice from behind said: “Damn, and I wanted to go to Finland.” :D

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №89842
 18.11.2013
I work in optics.
A woman and her son, 25 years old, come to us today. When the guy went to the doctor's office to check his vision, his mother turned to us with this question: "Will you check on the letters?" Only he has taught them all, he will deceive you")

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №89841
 18.11.2013
From Khabr, discussion of the post on the dissemination of personal data of volunteers by the Olympic Organizing Committee

Yan169: The Winter Olympics in Sochi, the World Hockey Championship in Qatar, a swimming training camp in the Sahara desert, writing a public service website on Brainfuck – all these are large-scale and respected goals and excellent promotions, perfectly revealing the visionary and rational approach of the organizers.

[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №89840
 18.11.2013
There is a Norman at home.
Here we bought her a toy: a small plush rat. She grabbed her, and let her run with her through the apartment: then under the bed in a dark corner, then high on the closet, then on the window she will sit, or run to the bathroom, in the bathroom with water to swim.
It was like showing a rat in the apartment.

And now I look at the Olympic torch, and it’s like deja vu: somewhere I’ve already seen it.

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №89839
 18.11.2013
GalacTozavr: I have been lying in the infection for 10 days now
HMR: Do not ly in the infection, it is dangerous, you can bring the infection into the mouth.

[ + 37 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №89838
 18.11.2013
Correspondence to VK. She reads messages, but does not respond. He has already written 23 messages:
XXX: Listen, and I’ve invented a new role-playing game. You will be my cousin in a coma. You mean that you are lying in the hospital, naturally not moving, and you are silent - you are in a coma))))))))0 And I will tell you (writing) about my problems, but you are naturally silent, you are in a coma))) And the messages read - mean that you hear me. Morning twice - if you liked the idea))))

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №89837
 17.11.2013
Is long-term sexual abstinence harmful to women?
Of course true. You start looking at all the idiots.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №89836
 17.11.2013
If you drop your potential partner from the roof, then for a few seconds he will become a kinetic partner, and then a thermal partner.

[ + 32 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №89835
 17.11.2013
So that no one ever climbs to you without knocking,
Darts must be hanged on the back of the door.

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №89834
 17.11.2013
Boroda 3: The temple is guarded by dogs. Why not God?
Lighter: Because there is no God
D2R: There are dogs!

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №89833
 17.11.2013
This genius is:
>>Babies, you have gotten it!!!! Give her five roses, she’s offended!! On a bunch of questions, in half an hour it turns out, I love when one rose! Fuck, 2 years you liked from 3 and above (in the number of flowers, the most enthusiastic caused 25), and here, fuck, one. Fucking with their knots.
Young man, and you tell your girlfriend, what about all the others? Choose yourself and suffer now. Here is the girl who flooded about female logic and nuts. It’s not a feminine logic, dear, it’s your feminine stupidity.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №89832
 17.11.2013
I tell stories so uninterestingly that when I tried to tell one, I became bored, started to think about something else, and forgot what I was telling.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №89831
 17.11.2013
In the provincial city group B

A to:

Bab need to *turn on the *blu who stand next to the companion in the evening!! Her brains were enough to offer me pleasure while I was going with a girl!! The girl doesn’t talk to me says I looked at her like that! Give them a bench!! to

X: Specifically where they stand.
y: Specify the exact coordinates and time))
Z: Hurricanes in the city))))))

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №89830
 17.11.2013
Something something? Children from the test tube are not baptized?
Maybe even those who were born with Caesarean?
But it did not come to light as God had planned.

P.S Priests may have been bitten. Or the opposite.

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №89829
 17.11.2013
This is the web:
>> Boy: We all (nearly all) go home from work/offices in the evening.
>> We all want to get there with minimal cost of time.
In order to realize these golden dreams and drive quickly, you must at least not be >>vegetables to drive aggressively, and the maximum - to violate the GDPR.
So, friends: who do you feel at such moments: a hero or a villain?

You are fucking Gandhi. Because of you, Pidor, and people like you, there are so many traffic jams in Moscow. And people suffer. Because, fucking, you are not a vegetable and you violate the GDPR, you fly out for meetings and stops with people.

All evil

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №89828
 17.11.2013
He’s still that shit! One day he was thrown into a mint mouthpiece, and when they began to search, they found nothing.)))

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