bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №83947
 10.07.2013
There is no GPRS on Mars.
YYY: The Prut?
zzz: Take the SSh on any of the operating Mars ships and see it personally.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №83946
 10.07.2013
Bulgarian Metropolitan Kirill drowned while hunting midi
Neptune has pulled out!

[ + 27 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №83945
 09.07.2013
We were presented to the office with a painting depicting the residence of the Hennessy family (the creators of the same cognac). It is painted a white mansion on the backdrop of the golden sky.
The Accountant:
Is the sky gold?
The marketer:
Hennessy is happening.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №83944
 09.07.2013
From social networks:
Nicholas: Moscow in the rain reminds Mordor.
You’ve been everywhere, Nicholas.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №83943
 09.07.2013
In front of him is a man walking in the street with bags of food and talking on the phone.
“I bought oil, I bought fish, I bought fruit, I bought wine, I bought everything.
It passes past the poster of Gregory Leps.
I forgot to buy the swap! Let me buy happiness.
Go to the poster:
Thank you brother!

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №83942
 09.07.2013
On July 1, the Verkhovna Rada introduced a child birth tax.

22:40:48 Vika: need to roll
22:56:50 Ivan: then, the good will not end
22:58:02 Vika: born from work will be fired, not born in the army will be sent... with a small child to work will not be taken...
22:59:12 Ivan: 100%

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №83941
 09.07.2013
Q: How are you with yours?
WOW: as always
WOW :
Not putting the mouse on the floor.
Do not tear my mouth.
I will leave him anyway.
Because he is good.
Q: Have you split up?
See also: AHA What’s wrong with the brains? "You're good, we need to break up" - what shit is that?
Welcome to Frendz :)

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №83940
 09.07.2013
to this:
About female logic and feelings... Remember the classic:
If the girl did not agree to sleep with you on the first date, then she has a look at you. If she did not agree on the second, it means big types. If you do not agree with the third one, forget everything I told you before.

I’ve been waiting for six months, but I’ve been together for 16 years. So it is not necessary to forget after the third, suddenly there are grand looks.

[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №83939
 09.07.2013
I am a person quite nervous, with a pathological tendency to violence against authorities. It’s constantly in my head this voice "Kill", yes "burn". I am distracted by viewing and listening to illegal content.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №83938
 09.07.2013
I went to the beach with a friend. We washed, we burned. Around a lot of babies are running, right almost on the lying people, a little further away their moms and grandmothers are located. Next to us is a bunch of small pebbles of sand. We have nothing to do by looking at them and remembering their childhood. We talk about life, we machine something out of the sand. After some time, the edge of the eyes noticed that the surrounding mommies and grandmothers began to explode sharply, grabbed their children for their hands and pulled away from us with a whisper, while it was very disapproving to us. Five minutes later, there was a vacuum around us. Sometimes they didn’t give it any importance, except that they the silence. They dressed up, dressed up, and went away. Our eyes accidentally fell on our hips. It was only then that they realized that I blinded a naked grandmother without a head and hands, and a friend was a human-size fox with eyes and wings.

[ + 27 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №83937
 09.07.2013
A receipt for public services arrived. For the heating for June was calculated 6792 rubles. I adore this country.

[ + 26 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №83936
 09.07.2013
A year later, I noticed a mistake in my diploma.
I have a mouse. The attest instead of Vladislavovich wrote Vyacheslavovich had to change.
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
WOW :D

[ + 53 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №83935
 09.07.2013
Furisubi is nervously watching a bunch of goats who liked some rotten fruit just near the bench where I sit.
Furisubi: The main thing is that these frogs don’t eat this rotten broken peach and don’t decide to drunk happily to someone (I, of course) to break my feet.
Furisubi: Who knows them, hoops of stripes

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №83934
 09.07.2013
c) discussion of the bill:

Let them turn off the internet in Russia, that the soul is poisoning.
I cannot say what I want. Books, movies and music cannot be downloaded.
Foreign services cannot be used.
Buying abroad and so it was not quite easy thanks to the mail, and now you can not pay abroad. It remains only the hub to ban under the pretext of IT sect and I myself with the provider will terminate the contract.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №83933
 09.07.2013
Well, who chose the “nightmare” mode when logging into the world? Nefig now complain that he got into Russia.

And who chose the mode "newcomer" got in Zimbabwe: absolutely linear and simple plot of the game - whatever you do, you will still die of hunger!

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №83932
 09.07.2013
From the discussion on the onliner article about the road and the pathos club:

by Bullean:
You do not understand anything. This is a new feeling, adrenaline:
Drinking water for a hundred thousand - excited, immediately wanted to get a new job
Drinking a three-dollar cocktail for 150 - immediately releasing adrenaline, the mountains can be turned. It is said that if you order a meal there, you can see how the hair on the chest grows straight through the shirt.

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №83931
 09.07.2013
Damn, it would be better here when adding a quote instead of entering a capchi to solve the equation and answer 3 questions on the rules of the Russian language.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №83930
 09.07.2013
From life:
How many tears do you have in exchange?
and six.
Exactly?
No, I am six and a half.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №83929
 09.07.2013
xxx> still need to take plates from mosquitoes
yyy> CDs from flies do not need?
yyy> and mp3 from mol

[ + 20 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №83928
 09.07.2013
From Habr:
Alexeyco: Is it true that in order for a quantum computer to fail, no one should look at it?

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