From a pharmacist’s story. A drunken buyer comes to the pharmacy, takes something and after the purchase begins to stick: "Girl, what is your name?" "The pharmacist jokes: "I'm not called, I come here myself." The buyer rounded his eyes: "Only not a whiteboat!"

I went to the shop for kefir. Time – without three or two minutes, eleven. A drinking-looking man sits in front of the shelf with alcohol, looking for the vodka he needs. He catches the demanded half-liter, rushes to a row of bottles with collie, convulsively pulls out of it a pepsi 0.33 and makes the last rush to the box office. I don't know if there was anyone in front of him or the box was free, but after taking the kefir and coming to pay for it, I see a happy man, who in his whole voice, dispersing in the kindness of the cashier, hides behind the door, waving a bottle of pepsi. We and the cashier simultaneously look at the part of the shelf where the already broken goods are placed - there alone a bottle of vodka flashes. A friendly whistle is spread and the cashier cries in the aftermath of the departing: "Comrade! And vodka, maybe you will still take it?" A pleasant drinking out of the door: "What?" "Wodka you will take?" The face is stretched out, for a second on it interchange the misunderstanding, fear, awareness of the situation and the joy of being found again. “I’ll take it!” a man cries, sneezes to the box, takes a bottle and gently looks at it. It seemed now he would say to her: "My beauty"))

[10:51] <xxx> I took my own hamster to bleat
[10:52] <xxx> rated
[10:52] <xxx> named by
[10:52] <xxx> we have talked to him
[10:52] <xxx> well with her
[10:52] <xxx> that is
[10:52] <xxx> y
[10:53] <xxx> I am going to teach her
[10:53] <xxx> life
...
[11:00] <xxx> fuck
[11:00] <xxx> I lost the hamster

I guess the scan. Question: In two words in the column is written babahalk, 5 letters. The day thought, tried everything, already came to a friend with a scanword, thought with her, thought, also didn't come up with anything. Well, no, Hulk has a 5 letter babe and it's all here!And a friend's nephew was just in the guests, ten years old, well, we show him the question in the scanword, and he immediately answers us: SALUT. We, in two voices: "And what is here a greeting". To what the child replied: “Well, here is the book of Babahalka!”

The mailbox, which was provided to me by the company *****-kabel, independently sends advertising emails from the company will-kabel in spam, after which within 10 days they are deleted by nahuy. I have probably never seen a more harmonious work of admin and marketers.

If a guy asked you to shave his eggs, how would you react?
This is the norm :)
What if the girl asked you to shave the eggs?and :)
Boy: D: Jab escaped from the girl with the eggs!!! to

"-If I had written the instructions, they would have started with the words "Well, shit, didn’t work?and "

The Army. The deputy commander of the unit in the impasse of invading helplessness today issued an epic summary of the actions of the battalion:
You have been walking around Hui Bosco for two weeks!!! to
Translation: You failed to fulfill your assignment on time.
I was crying in the air.)

The advice of the girls decided that I was not a virgin, I was just another.

Chezzz: You know everything, and
I don’t know how to make a million dollars.
Chezzz: Well, I have an example plan. Buy for 900,000. Sold for a hundred
Where do you get the 900,000? Buy for 800 and sell for 900.
Chezzz: and you caught the essence.

If the airplanes are going to fly, take them and post photos.
YYY: No, I’ve tried to shoot on the Moscow Racing car and now I have 80 asphalt photos.

from VK

“When you are close to the one, from one thought of which the heart drives blood to about light speeds, the brain melts like ice cream, and yourself drowns in feelings, like a break of uranium in mercury.

Romance is fucking :)

On the site of castings in advertising. Count "search for actors"

"3.​ The Scatter A boy looking 13-16 years old is a typical representative of the skateboard subculture. High, slender, Slavic type of appearance. Smiling and completely confident. Under no circumstances should be reminded of Piper. I must be able to ride skiing!"

A rare bird will fly to the middle of the Dnieper. by Taras Bulba.
A rare satellite will reach the middle of the Pacific Ocean. The Roscosmos

Business in Russian
I went to the market in the evening to buy fruit. While I was thinking about what and how much to buy, I listened to one saleswoman complaining emotionally about the grandmother from the villages, who in the morning sell their own and interrupt their trade until lunch.
“Weigh me peaches...” I started, but the seller interrupted me, “I’ve already put up the weights.”
I couldn’t keep the smile on my face.
“What’s funny here?” she said angrily.
But really...

Lamer: I got to work. Funny guy 35 years old. We have to bring a 3D printer to the office. The first task was to find a.stl file with a drawing of a gun that could be printed on that printer. I feel like I will stay here for the rest of my life.)

The first paragraph of the national anthem
The following way:
There is a city in Pushma,
The polymer spirit breathes.
He was very modest at first.
At home it is made of pebbles.
There live the Taliban.
Not knowing sorrow and sorrow.
Buried in the valleys of the dead
And the dirt of the sick...

and sing:
Talica, Talica, he lives and does not age.
Talisca, Talisca – the pimocate is famous!
Congratulations to Talic!
I like here very much!

The hymn has no continuation, because the author
He died in a city hotel, staring out the window.
on the street. The [...]

The Attractions:
Petropavlovsk church (mid-19th century, late classicism, early darkness);

(from the wiki about the Ural town of Talica)

I will fall asleep!!! to
xxx: We are the director of information security writing a letter with the theme: "We have a hole in security!" He is answered by our guys, only the topic changed: "Well, at least something is safe!" :-D

MeloMan: Condoms are 99% protection
What about 1%?
MeloMan: attack, blaze

xxx: I read the news "Red dwarf planets are not suitable for life".
XXX: The first thought - and how do the dwarfs live there then?! to